Thursday, July 23, 2009

Do You Hate This Person Like I Do? Leave The Funny To The Pros.




It really bothers me when there's someone that's rarely funny but when they're in a meeting or in a public place where there's a bit of awkwardness to begin with, they say something that people laugh at.

The person is a bit surprised that they said something that people are laughing at so they proceed to sit up in their seat a bit, they're all smiles and they look back and forth and behind them to see who is laughing.

When they see someone laughing at what they said, they start to laugh a bit more and nod in attempt to get the person to keep laughing because they like this feeling. Some will even do the most pathetic move which is to repeat their lame punchline, then take a look around the room again.

Now. I ask that you the reader, act it out by saying this while doing the motions I mentioned above and you'll see what I mean,

"....and how is the UPS guy supposed to get in? Through the window???" (a bit af laughter in the room).

(Go through the motions now).

"...through the window? Should he go though the...(laughter is subsiding)...look at me..I'm climbing with boxes and I'm about to go through this window here.....(motion out the square shape of a window). Hey, let me get in this window..

See? Do you know what I'm talking about? I bet you hate that kind of person too.

32 comments:

catherinette said...

Such people should be shot.

Former Fat Chick said...

Takes one to know one...I have NO idea what the HELL you are talking about....and by the way I HAVE a hilarious cat stroy which you would be very interested in!

Dr Zibbs said...

Former Fat Chick - how don't you know what I'm talking about?

What are YOU talking about?

sj said...

i'm professionally hilarious.

amateurs have no place in my conference room.

Blonde Goddess said...

I don't look ANYTHING like that woman...

SkylersDad said...

The only thing you left out is the part where they drool a bit or shoot snot out of their nose.

Girl Interrupted said...

You know what helps get you through lame, tedious meetings? Wank Word Bingo.

Before the meeting find a couple of suitable partners in crime who would be game enough to play along.

Then make your bingo cards, but instead of numbers you have wank (English slang for rubbish ... amongst other things *ahem*) words, or especially stupid corporate phrases, such as "think outside the box" etc.

Then tick each one off on your cards as they get mentioned during the meeting, it's even more fun if they don't get mentioned because then you can try to manipulate people into saying them. It's great fun!

Winner is the one to tick off all his/her wank words first. Before the meeting, agree on a substitute word for "bingo" ... the more bizarre the better, so that the other players know when somebody's won.

It's childish and irresponsible but ... so what? :P

Caffeine Court said...

It's even worse when they are so proud of this moment that you here them tell it to people.."remember in that meeting when I was joking about the UPS man coming through the window?"

Very sad.

moooooog35 said...

Which person are we supposed to hate...the person saying the joke or the UPS guy coming through the window?

Huh? Which..which person..?

..joke teller...UPS guy...which one? I can't tell! Which..which one..

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Dr Zibbs said...

C Court - you know the type.

Moog - both.

miss*H said...

why is the UPS guy coming through the window? Do you not have doors at your work or has the recession hit you hard too (or am I completely missing something here?)

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more!!

They annoy me ALMOST as much as the people who start blogs and 80% of their posts are youtube videos other people made. And then they post 2-3 sentence lame commentary on it.

Almost as much as those d-bags. Not quite, but almost.

Dr Zibbs said...

Anonymous - lets take a look at your blog..

(clicks to find nothing)

...Oh yeah.

Kimberly said...

All the world loves a comedian. Can I apply here?

Cameron said...

Punchline repeater gets a mandatory shot to the nuts, or in this case, vagina. Nerples are acceptable in lieu of crotch punch.

Dr Zibbs said...

Cameron - That should be printed, laminated and handed out as wallet cards.

jadedj said...

Har, har, har...I LOVE UPS box jokes. I was telling my wife just the other morning...hon (I call her hon), hon, I sure could use a UPS box joke right now. See, hon is a UPS driver and she knows all of the latest UPS box jokes. If you need more Zibbs, just let me know.

J.J. in L.A. said...

*giggle*Girl I said, 'wank'*giggle*

(to) Wank = 'masterbate' in the U.S.

Haha! Word veri: nersie.

Dr Zibbs said...

JJ - please don't speak Latin on this blog.

Son of a Thomas said...

I know 2 of thoes people.

Only one have I told to shut their fat face.

Kez said...

Yeah, those people are LAME.
*shudders*
I hate when people say something and you genuinely laugh at what they said, then they pretend they don't know what you said and go, "What?! What are you laughing at?!"
When they know why and they just want you to go on and on about how they're just so hilarious even though that's the only funny thing they've said all millenium!

Dr Zibbs said...

Kez!! that's classic! HAHHHAHAHA

diane said...

I think Girl I's idea is genius. I wonder if I can incorporate it into my job. We have certain customers who always say the same thing, like it's hilarious or something. This is too easy.

Cora said...

*shudder*

Sounds like my exhusband.

Dominica said...

LOL Girl and Diane, count me in, I just love wordplay and mindfucking...this is great, now unfortunately, as I am My Own Boss (that's also the name of my firm btw but I'm drifting...) I only have meetings with me, myself and I - don't you guys do conference calls ?
..
Dr Zibbs, I so understand what you mean. I've worked in a firm with loads of people like that, the picture is correct, there was this guy that looked just like her above, except for the long hair (yeah, he had the boobs and the belly) ...
A little game I played with my former colleague, was that during meetings, instead of taking notes, we drew the people around us naked...Am I sick ? Am I ?

J. Hi said...

Come on, Zibbs. Let them have their moment. They have so few.

Don't be THE MAN--keeping them down.

diane said...

@Domi: Drawing pictures of them naked could work for me too, haha.

Dr Zibbs said...

J Hi - Can't do it.

Chris said...

The last time the UPS guy came through a window at our business we filed an official complaint. I mean it's gross and someone could slip and fall.

Phil Bennett said...

Yeah I know this person all too well...they should be killed.

nuf said

phd in yogurtry said...

What I REALLY hate is when you are telling a story and you give the punchline with an offhand gesture, like a goofball facial expression. And then some dipshit says, "How's that go again?" Prompting you to repeat the goofy expression. HATE it. Ruins the moment.

Irenelikewhoa said...

I get people like that at work ALL the time, but I don't laugh at what they actually just said, but I am laughing at the simple fact that they actually think they are funny. They continue to fucking come in trying to be funny, day after day, with the same fucking stupid jokes and remarks. And one day they come in and they say something and ONE FUCKING PERSON sitting down and drinking will laugh! So what does the "joke teller" do, he repeats what he said, puts his hand to his fat fucking hairy belly, and proceeds to do the over exaggerated 'Santa chuckle'. At this point all YOU want to do is punch them in their big fat fucking hairy gut!