Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dwarf On Bike - Partially True Story.




So I'm driving down the road the other week and do you know what I saw? Yup. A dwarf riding a bike.

Good guess!

I bet that when the dwarf went to the bike shop he walked to the counter and said, "Excuse me, I'll take your smallest bike and your largest helmet"

Then the crabby bike shop owner turned around and said, "Sir I don't have time for your Shenanigans.....Sir?... Sir? (he looks around).

"I'm down here."

"Oh my! I apologize, I thought someone was playing a joke on me..smallest bike AND largest head". The bike owner then takes out a tape measure and measures the height of the little fellow then the circumference of his enormous head. "You weren't kidding you little rascal. Let's get you fitted. And here's a lollipop for you."

This was the beginning of a great friendship.

OK. That part didn't happen but I really did see a dwarf riding a specially made bike down the road. No crazy clown horn or anything. I swear. Just a miniature sized bike. And since many of you know that I used to be friends with a dwarf it's perfectly OK for me to tell you this tale.

The end.

26 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Oh yeah.

And when I drove a mile up the road, there was a normal riding his bike in the direction of the dwarf.

I wonder if the waved to each other.

diane said...

I bet the dwarf was on his way to the tailor to pick up his clown suit.

i'm going to hell

Mr. Condescending said...

I think he was a "little" confused.

Wouldn't it be extra funny if he had a wolf shirt on.

The Peach Tart said...

Dwarfs have to have some fun too.

westchesterdead said...

I knew a dwarf that was recovering alcoholic (long story from like 20 years ago). Do you suppose a drunk dwarf is meaner than a drunk normal? Methinks so.

Dr Zibbs said...

A drunk dwarf is a bitter dwarf. Or so the wall plaque goes.

J. Hi said...

Man!! All the cool stuff happens to you!

BeckEye said...

Dude...drugs are bad for you.

Whiskeymarie said...

This is exactly why you need to carry a camera with you at all times. Hell, I'd probably pay up to $6 for something like that.
Your loss, mister.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey M - I tried to take a picture but couldn't get to my phone on time.

Dr Zibbs said...

...plus I was in a panic. It's like if I meteor is about to hit. You're confused and in awe at the same time so your reflexes are slow.

catherinette said...

Please tell me he was wearing a top hat and tails.

Kimmie said...

LOL @ "a normal".

Cora said...

Which one was he?! Grumpy? Doc? Dopey? Sleazy?

He was Sleazy, wasn't he? I bet he was Sleazy. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you saw it instead of me ...I can take A LOT, you can talk about operations, creepy stories, but if I see a dwarf, I can't eat anymore...
It's not that I have something against those people, not at all....but they just do something to my appetite...
oh and yeah, a six-fingered man too, but that's another story !!

Dominica

Dr Zibbs said...

Kimmie - I was going to say a "regular sized person" instead of a normal but that would be much too offensive.

OHN said...

Not getting to your phone fast enough is no excuse. That is why there are driveways to turn around in.

Dr Zibbs said...

OHN - plus my camera phone doesn't have a ZOOM lense..

(looks around for reaction)

..Naaaaa. Naaaaa. Naaaaa.

Slyde said...

hey! i'm NOT a fucking dwarf, ok?

i just was wearing flats...

Son of a Thomas said...

I saw an Amish dwarf lady the other day. My wife kept saying "Stop pointing and saying check it out!"

Oh, and my brother did a dwarf chick once.

Crotchpains said...

My first roommate in college was a dwarf, so I have unique expertise on the subject because I know what a dwarf looks like naked, drunk and high. Occasionally all three at the same time. They look much better when sober--I can promise you that. Anyway, they are highly functional, so don't be shocked to see one riding a bike, driving a car, stocking shelves 1, 2, and 3 at WaWa. The list goes on. How perfect had your dwarf sighting had him on a unicycle...juggling....while singing "I Love a Parade". good times.....

JennyMac said...

Love the imagined convo you created. And burst out laughing at Slyde's commentary.

Chris said...

Don't mess with those biker dwarves! I hear their a little mean!

Dr Zibbs said...

CrotchPains - thanks for chiming in with that important info. And for anyone that cares, CrotchPains is a real life friend of mine and roomed with the drwarf I've mentioned.

Dr Zibbs said...

..And Son of a Thomas - please write a post about your brother's adventure. I need details!

WendyB said...

@ Chris.. a "little mean"? LOL.