Thursday, July 2, 2009

You're Not Going to Believe What I Wrote on June 22nd!



Here are some more Tweets that I wrote that crack me up. Which is your favorite? Enjoy your laughter because the last one is going to freak you the hell out.

CNN reporting that Billy Mays requested all people attending his funeral speak through bullhorns.Naaa.I just made that up

short dude walking down street looks like part regular person and part midgit. i shall call him a ridgit

Guess how many amusement park rides Karl Malden had in is front yard? Zero! I shit you not! AND he never owned a chimp. EVER!!

I hereby challenge Lil' Wayne to spell the word "retarded". If he can't spell it, my case will be closed

someone..once and for all...needs to do a scientific classification of skanks. if anything..it would make a great poster.

wonder if there's a guy named cornhole Carl? but he goes by Cc....until you get to know him...

tip for foreigners. don't say your lady lips look like lips of Jimmy Carter but this much classier.

a plastic glove just floated in front of my car. that has to be a sign.

HOLY SHIT! Look at that last one! I wrote that on June 22nd!! 3 days before Michael Jackson died. Don't believe me? Go check my Tweets. Holy crap, I'm getting the chills. Maybe I'm like Nostradamus!

24 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

WARNING: IF YOU JUST WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND YOUR FRIEND IS SLUMPED OVER THE COMPUTER HE/SHE IS NOT DEAD.

THEY JUST READ SOMETHING REALLY FREAKY ON MY BLOG. PLEASE REVIVE YOUR FRIEND BEFORE READING THE BLOG POST SO YOU DON'T FAINT.

(and also, tell your friends to google this: THAT BLUE YAK)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

See plastic glove to me screams drug test not Michael Jackson...

Ok ok that's freaky!

Dr Zibbs said...

And Shelle - it floated really slowly in front of my car and almost into my window. It was like the bag that floated on the movie American Beauty.

I swear.

I wonder what other signs I'm being given but haven't picked up on?

Dr Zibbs said...

Attention everyone. As I'm very modest, if anyone wants to call the press and tell them that I saw the future I'm fine with that. Just pretend that I didn't mention it to you.

For the person that gets me the first NETWORK TV interview I will consider signing a THAT BLUE YAK mug if you pay for the shipping.

Thank you.

sybil law said...

Fucking eerie, dude.

Debbie said...

You are giving me the chills! It's just too freaky.

Dr Zibbs said...

Debbie - how much freakier would it have been if I wrote that maybe Michael Jackson was going to die because it's what went through my head when I saw it.

Prunella Jones said...

Are you sure it wasn't a used condom that you saw? They can look very similar to plastic gloves if you squint.

Dominica said...

That's creepy I know...I said to someone a few years ago during a dinner party about a woman sittin' next to him that 'if she would fall down her chair and drop dead' he didn't have to wonder why. The guy ofcourse looked at me in horror and said that i was creepy.
...
6 days later the message came she had died of a cardiac arrest in her sauna...
...
So, if I ever look at you and say you're looking like crap, be prepared !!
(this last sentence should be accompanied with the laughter of Michael Jackson's song Thriller)

mikeb302000 said...

That is pretty weird. Some of the other tweets made me laugh too. Thanks for that.

Bombchell said...

somebody has probably classified "skanks" as u called them or similar. lol

Anna Russell said...

You should totally set up a psychic hotline.

moooooog35 said...

Holy shit...I think you're right about the stuff floating in front of you being a harbinger of death.

A banner saying 'your sex life' floated in front of my car three days before I got married.

Creepy.

Dr Zibbs said...

Prunella - how could I confuse a plastic glove for a condom? That would mean the guy had to have five dicks? And that's probably pretty rare.

Dr Zibbs said...

...ohhhhh. If I SQUINTED. Now I get it.

diane said...

Oh, you're telepathic, so it really doesn't matter that you can't access my page. (I'm contacting blogspot about that, btw)

I'd like to be the one to do the skank poster, I bet I could make it really sexy.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - please use the grid layout for the poster.

diane said...

zibbsy, I contacted blogspot and they said moving my followers list lower on the sidebar should resolve the problem. Hopefully, you can access my page now. Please let me know.

What's a grid?

Son of a Thomas said...

So let me get this straight. You killed Michael Jackson? Alright, just stay right there while I contact the police blog.

Vodka Mom said...

If an empty vodka bottle comes crashing through your window while driving down the road - DON'T BE ALARMED.

Heff said...

Well, if a empty can of Busch light ever floats in front of your car, please notify me IMMEDIATELY.

buffalodick said...

Thanks for warning me about Twitter... I only have X amount of air left to breathe, and I could have wasted some!

Dr Zibbs said...

Buffalodick - if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna get you on Twitter.

buffalodick said...

Doc- When you are on your deathbed- E-mail me... It will indeed be the last thing you do!