OK. I know many of you have printed out pictures of That Blue Yak, hand drawn in features that you think look like me, then have made mini shrines in your homes for worship purposes.
But I've got a confession. I'm NOT perfect. Calm down, calm down. It's true.
Here's a story of something I did in high school that I'm not proud of. Many of you might think I'm a jerk because of some of the things I write, but to tell you the truth, if someone is getting picked on I'm usually the first to step in and tell them to knock it off. Of course if they're not in hearing distance, how can making fun of them hurt them? It can't. Right? I guess that's just my policy.
But like I said above, here's a case of something that I still do feel bad about. I'll write it the way that I told it to a few friends the day after it happened in 11th grade:
"'You're not going to believe what we did to Thompson last night. You know how he's scared to shit and gets spooked by any mention of horror movies or devil shit when we're wasted? "
"Well, we scared the shit out of him last night. I made this box and filled it with all this weird crap like hand written quotes from the bible about the devil - but I made them look like they were written by a serial killer. Then I put all these dried flowers in and other crap. And there was this weird devil thing I found and I made it into a necklace."
"So we're out with him, Flare and Kindle and we're wasted. So I pull over and say, 'I've got to show you something that's changed my life.' (And I've always been able to do a great possessed imitation)"
"So I say I was in the woods and I found it. And he opens it up and is like, 'What the fuck is this shit?'. He's totally buying it and he's starting to freak out a bit, 'What the fuck is this shit?'"
"So I pull out the necklace and that I have in my pocket and say, 'And there's also THIS! This discovery has changed my life. You've got to be a part of this."'
"So the two other guys in the car are in on the 'joke.' The one falls out of the car and pretends he's throwing up. The other dude - who speaks Hungarian starts talking in Hungarian.
"So Thompson is like, "GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!"'
"We drive him home and as we pull up he jumps out of the car and runs to his house. "
That was about it. I'm not proud of if but I was just thinking about it lately.
So is anyone going to take down their shrines?
(And for the record, he was starting to become a dick)