This heat sucks.
And for some reason, my sexy black underwear seems to ride up my ass worse than the tighty whities.
And I've tried to wear boxers but they don't offer the "support"...if you know what I mean.
So what's a brother to do? I don't want to be picking my ass when I'm walking down the street so I have to do a series of half kicks and turns. It's very discreet. I'm sure nobody knows what I'm doing. They're probably like, "Hey, that dude just kicked something really small then he was going to go back to his car because he forgot something but then he probably remembered he didn't forget it".
So my invention is underwear with tiny strings attached to the crack area. The strings are then looped through your pockets and then attached to small metal buttons. When your underwear rides up your ass, you simply reach into your pocket and pull on the "coins" that will pull the fabric out of your ass.
I know. It's brilliant. Now I'll need someone to draw up a licensing contract and someone else to find me a local seamstress so I can get a prototype done.
And I need some name suggestions.