THAT BLUE YAK Merch Is Available To The Public. Shirts.

Yesterday one of my favorite new followers (and cutie pie) Suze said in the comments area: "I want a 'That Blue Yak' mug. I love this blog."

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Well guess what? I DO have product for sale. And you can get it by following this link.

And note that a portion of the proceeds go to my beer money. But on a serious note, it's not just my job to promote this blog. It's YOURS. The reader. You're getting all of this for free. So I'm encouraging you all to write: "GOOGLE THIS: THAT BLUE YAK" on some dollars bills right now. And remember this post where I wrote that on money and my nephew got it and figured out I had a blog?  Man what were the odds of THAT happening??

OK. Now go buy some TBY product! And if you buy something and send me a picture with it I'll write a post about you and how great you and your blog are*. If you don't want your face shown in the picture put a bag over your head or something. Alright? Good. 

Enjoy your day.

*Limited to the first 50 people.

I Think My Dad May Be A Spy. The Word "Solid."

You read that blog post title correctly. "I think my dad may be a spy."

Why you ask?

I was at his house the other day and I asked him if he had the newspaper and he says...are you ready for this?....he says, "Let me get it out of my attache case."

ATTACHE CASE! Case closed. Who uses the "attache case" other than spies? And he may have said "attache' case" with the thingy over the "e" which means....Oh my God. He might be a double agent!

Wow. And here's a fun fact for attache' case: it first came into popular use in 1904. So now you know. Try and use it today in a sentence.

And one more word on words. I'd like to bring the word "solid" back. Not as in, "do me a solid and hand me that cantaloupe scooper" but in it's single usage form. Like when someone says, "I'm going to be taking Linda to the big dance on Friday night!" Then the friend looks at him - nods - and says, "Solid."

If my memory serves me right the word "solid" had it's best years from 1977 - 1979*. Am I right?

*1979 - 1984 if you're from one of the backward states.

Guy Fieri. Douche McDouche. Stupid Quotes and Backward Sunglasses.

Can you imagine if you had to interact with Guy Fieri daily? *begins to tie noose* But do you know what? I watch his show all the time. For all the douchy behavior I have to tune in! I have to watch it I tells ya! Even though I'm constantly yelling out, "Oh come on. Shut up!"

How much of his personality do you think is a show and how much do you think is real? I'm guessing that a lot of it is how he really acts. Here are a few of the stupid things he's said:

“This is kind of like hitting the nitrous button on a food career. This is full throttle.”
  
"On like Donkey Kong."

"Dude I've been sticken by chicken!"

"I wanna be the ambassader of chimichanga flavor town!"

And he always has to look right in camera when he says stuff like this. Way to be subtle Guy.

Ive got two words. Ohhhhh BROTHER!

And what's with the backward sunglasses? I'm sure he didn't make it up. Where and when did that originate? And if you're doing a TV show why the hell wouldn't you just put your sunglasses off camera? Stupid.

My Thoughts on Plastic Surgery. Jennifer Grey. Fake Boobies.

 There's Jennifer Grey back in the day. And this is her now:

Whu Whu WHATTTT? Va Va VOOOOOM!

She looks like a different person. So much better looking and you can't even tell she had any work done. How can they do this but so many other plastic surgery faces look terrible?

I think I'm against most plastic surgery. Unless it's a woman with a huge beak. Then it's OK. Noses are pretty easy to do. For dude's though? Big noses are fine. Look at Adrien Brody with that schnoz. Ladies like him don't they?

As for big fake boobs I'm not a fan of those easy. But I am OK with the boob lift.

Would I get plastic surgery? Probably if I developed one of those neck gobblers but I think that's hereditary right? So I think I'll be fine. As for my crows feet I'm OK with them.

Tell me YOUR thoughts.. Let your voice be heard on this important matter.

Podcasts and Tune In Radio. Nick and Artie. Dana Gould.

Does anyone use the "Tune In" App*? I love it. It's free radio from around the world. I've been listening to a lot of oldies and classic rock from the UK. I like hearing the more obscure songs that they play over there.

And I also love listening to podcasts. Let me know what you listen to because I'm looking to add some more. Here are some I like (Sorry, no links will be supplied)

Nick and Artie - Love this. It's supposed to be a sports talk show but they only talk about sports half the time. Artie as you might know is from the Stern show. Nick is a comic. Even if you don't like sports I bet you'll like this.

Adam Carolla Show - This is the top podcast on Itunes. Funny. I'm still waiting to hear somebody with a "It's just a waste of my time" ringtone."

WTF with Marc Maron - Comedian Marc Maron interviews mostly comedians from his garage. He's a great interviewer but he annoys me. I still don't get how he's a comedian because I've listened to over 50 hours and only laughed once at anything he's said.

The Stranger Podcast with Dan Savage - Gay dude gives sex advice. Interesting to listen to freaky people call in. Annoying though how he tries to normalize everything. I don't care what people do but he acts as if you don't agree with every lifestyle you're a hater. I don't wish any transvestites harm but I saw a 6' 3" one at the Exton Mall the other day and that dude was a freak. Walking around with his halter top and little purse. I would never laugh in his face or stare but I will say it will always look ridiculous. So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

Dana Gould - I love this one but he rarely puts new episodes out. Get on it Dana!

Andy Dick's "The Sh&t Show" - Funny and freaky but he hasn't put a new episode out in a while.

Things You Didn't Learn in History Class - Is what it sounds like. 

And to tell you the truth there are a bunch more but I don't have my ipod with me and that's where they're stored. I need to add them to my "Tune In" favorites. I'll add the additional ones to the comments later.
So any suggestions for me?

*Just search "Tune In" on your device.

Storm King Stout. Victory Beer. Into My Belly.

There she is. The Victory Beer Storm King Imperial Stout.  9.1 % ABV.

Hold on for a second. Sip. Ahhhhh. Sip. Ahhhh. Sip. Ahhhhh. 

If you've never had an imperial stout this is the one to try. The color is almost black. And it tastes kind of like  a thick, coffee/chocolate concoction. Complex flavors. It's bitter and sweet.

You can buy it in bottles but if you're lucky like me you live near Victory Brewing. It's in Downingtown, PA. So are you gonna try it? Are ya? Are ya? *keeps poking you in the arm*

Here's a link for some other great imperial stouts. 

When You're Acting and You're REALLY Acting. The Campaign.

Here are some random thoughts on acting in some movies that I've seen lately

The Campaign - Pretty funny. Zack Galifianakis is a riot. Great to see him play a role that's completely different from what he usually plays. Not great but enough laughs to make it worth it. Some laugh out loud parts.

Total Recall - This movie didn't get the best reviews but I liked it. I never really liked the original to tell you the truth. And Kate Beckinsale of course is hot and plays a badass. Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaahhh.

Hope Springs - This is about an older couple that doesn't have a love/sex life anymore. I enjoyed it but pretty depressing. You're basically watching a couple go through marriage counseling. Meryl Streep as usual is phenomenal. I'm thinking of calling her up to see if she wants to do a project together. When it was over I heard one lady say to another, "Now I'm depressed."

The Dark Knight Rises - Pretty good movie as Comic Book movies go. (As you know I'm not a huge fan). Joseph Gordon Levitt was great however. I'm predicting he's going to be an A-lister soon. And of course Michael Caine was great.

Moonrise Kingdom - Another quirky movie by Wes Anderson. It takes place in the early sixties on a small island off of New England. A boy and girl run away together. I liked it. No standout performances but Kara Hayward - the girl - is good given that this was her first movie.

There you go. Did anyone see any of these movies?

Ridiculous Shoes Found in King Of Prussia at Nordstrom Rack.

Check out these ridiculous shoes I saw at Nordstom Rack on Saturday in King of Prussia, PA. Of course they were in clearance. 

Even a smooth brother couldn't pull these things off. If I were a brother this would be my reaction if I saw someone wearing these.....

"Ahh ahh AHHHHHH! Tyrone Whaaaaat? *covers mouth and points* My man got some GOOFY ass mothers on! Yes. He. Does. WOOOOO WEEEEEE! Looks like a mother fuckin' bowling shoe did it wid a God damn Bozo shoe and this sis the God damn offspring and sheeeeeeaat! Damn boy AHHH AHHHH!

*Circles shoe wearer and shakes head*

"I am sorry those things are just wrong on all levels. You be lookin' like a fool. Get those ugly ass kicks out of my sight! You're disrespectin' my peepers!"

Buying Weed From This Dude In High School. The Phone Is Ringing!

I don't know why but something popped into my had the other day that had me laughing. It was in 11th grade and I was going to buy some weed from some dude that I worked with. He told me to come over to his house Saturday afternoon at three.

I had never been to his house before. I find the house, drive by and I'm thinking, "Oh great. His Mom is working in the front yard."

I pull in anyway. I get out of the car and say hi to the mom. She's your typical suburban mom. Overly friendly. Asked how I knew Mark. I say, "Oh I work with him."

"Oh OK. Let me get him. Mark, there's a boy named Jim out here to see you."

Mark walks out, "Hey Jim."

Now at the this point I'm thinking that he's going to bring me into the house or we're going to get in my car and drive somewhere for the transaction. Instead, this happens....

Mark: Mom is that the phone? (there is no phone ringing)

Mom: (looking at him like he's kind of crazy) What? The phone's not ringing.

Mark: Yeah Mom. There it is again. The phone's ringing. (he's just making this up)

Mom: What do you mean the phone's ringing?

Mark: (with sense of urgency and looking at her like she's got a hearing problem) You don't hear that? It's ringing right now?? Go get it.

Mom: OUR phone???

Mark: Yeah! Quick mom! They're gonna hang up!

Mom: Why can't I hear it? (Looking confused she gets up and runs inside the way Edith Bunker runs when the doorbell rings)

Mark pulls weed out of pocket and hands it to me. I hand him money.

The mom comes back out shaking her head and looking confused.

Mom: Mark that wasn't the phone.

Mark: Oh it wasn't? Oh OK. Well, see you later Jim.

Me: OK bye.

Haha! That never would have flown at my house.

Run! Neely Went To Van Halen Last Night! 1980's. Concerts.

I

I used to go to a lot of concerts in high school 

And even though I loved going to concerts I hated when other people went to concerts. Because dudes in high school can't shut their yappers and quit with the bore assing of the concert. Especially this dude we'll call Mike N. He might as well have walked around with a sandwich board announcing his excitement because he wouldn't shut his pie hole. Talking to everyone that would listen. Bonding with other people that would be going to the concert. It would go down like this: 

Tour dates are announced: "Van F%#king Halen mother f#$ker! I. Am. There!"

Tickets purchased: 23rd row to VH! YEAH!! They're gonna rock so hard! No denying!  F%$k Journey! I'm all about Diamond Dave you bitch ass!!

Day before concert: Guess who's going to Van Halen tonight? ME! Whoa, whoa, whoa Jamie's cryin' WEEEMP WHEEEP! *drops to knees and does air guitar.*

Day after concert (proudly wears t-shirt above and struts down the hall): VanHalen rocked! You should have been there! But you weren't! I was though! Best concert ever*! THREE ENCORES! THREE! "Runnin' with the Devil" right into "Eruption" YEAAAHHHH!!! *devil hand motion*

Then in the hall and at lunch he would list every song that was played. Alright now I'm getting pissed all over again.

To read about an incident that happened at a Who concert click here 

*It's ALWAYS the "best concert ever" isn't it?

. 

Inventions That Were Huge When I Was Growing Up. VCR. 70s and 80's.

There it is. The kitchen from 1979. And look at the white appliance in the corner. It's a microwave. That is one of several inventions that I remember as being a big deal when I was growing up. Imagine wanting to heat something up and you had to preheat an oven or toaster oven!! It's just a waste of my time! You kids have it too good!

And the microwaves always came with a cookbook showing these elaborate meals you could make. No thanks. I'll stick to reheating. And I'm glad I sold my stock of hot popcorn popper companies the year before or I would have lost my shirt!

Here are a few other noteworthy inventions of my childhood that brought us into the world of tomorrow...

*hazy camera waves to indicate dreamy flashback*

What have we here? That my friend is a VCR. I think they became popular around 1979 (9th grade for me) but  I could be wrong. The great thing about the VCR was that you could actually watch a movie and not have to wait for it to come on one of your five channels. When I was a kid the Wizard of Oz came on once a year. And if you missed? Tough luck. Here's a tissue for your tears. Wait till next year.

Also, it was a chance to see some skin if you know what I mean. The only skin before that was maybe some nipple on Charlie's Angels or Three's Company. And come to think of it that wasn't even skin! It was fabric. Erect, nipple fabric penetrating through the shirt of  Farrah or Suzanne Somers. Or Maude*.

Next up? The TV remote. But guess what? This ad is from 1958??? Why did it take so long for remotes to become popular?? If I recall correctly remotes weren't common until about 1975 at least because I remember even seeing a commercial for a TV with a remote and my dad pulling down his newspaper and saying, "A remote control for your television? Now who is THAT lazy they can't get up from their couch, walk over to the television and turn the channel?" Then he shook his head and went back to reading the paper.

To read about my salute to hot dog cookers click here.

*In other nipple related news I remember a friend saying, "Did you see 'The Deep' last night on the ABC Movie of the week? You could see Jacqueline Bisset's nipples through her white t-shirt!" Sadly I missed it.

Post About Annoying Blog Commenters.

I know it's best to ignore an annoying commenter but I'd like to give a shout out to three:

Anonymous - The current Anonymous likes to point out spelling or grammatical errors in my posts. Honestly, someone like this is more like a bug to me. It doesn't bother me at all. I write these posts like emails and sometimes grammatical errors slip in. And spelling errors. But my spelling errors are usually typos.

And if you're going to leave an anonymous comment at least leave a name - even if a fake one - at the end of the comment dummy. Because when you don't you just blend in with all of the other anonymous commenters.

Michelle - This is the woman that leaves comments on this blog (and blogs I follow) along the lines of...

Cheney is fect. Fect is Bush
Forget Yak with Cheney. Texas is LEFT

And on and on. Basic nonsense. And she also threatened me. But she doesn't leave comments on here anymore because I not only found out who she is but I found out where she lives, where she used to work, the names of people she used to work with and her email address. So she knows what will happen next time she leave her nonsense on here.

Boycott American Women - This puss is the worst. He leaves paragraphs about how American women should be boycotted then has a link to his blog. There is no way this guy ever gets laid. And the blog is so fake. He writes posts that are supposed to be from men around the country but there are a few problems:

1) The posts are written by him! It's so obvious because it always starts off, "Bill from Texas" or "Mike from Florida." Never a city. And they're all written in the same way. By him.

2) Also, how does he get these "testimonials?" There's no way to contact the coward. Oh yeah, and you can't leave a comment on his dumb ass blog because the puss doesn't allow comments.

What a joke.

Flirty Verizon Lady Gets Her Flirty Flirt The Flirt On.

I would love to do a study on flirting. I know studies have been done but I'd like to conduct one. Zibbs style.

I was thinking of this because I was in the Verizon store for a phone issue the other day and when they called my name the good looking lady was chosen to help me. I always see her there but  I always get stuck with the dudes. Smelly, hairy faced, non-boobed dudes.

Since she had my phone in her hand and I had nothing to look at I was kind of looking at her. Pretty, dirty blond hair, big eyes, curvy. And she had nice shoes. But the personality seemed kind of dull. No smile. Until she looked up and I was looking at her and I said, "You really look like this girl I used to work with."

And she did look like her. I wasn't even trying to get my flirt on but all of a sudden she got all smiley and did the head tilt and was all, "Really?" Then we just started chit chatting. She was all smiley and giggly. You should of seen it. It was a spectacle I tells ya! She was under the Zibbs spell as they say.* I'm involved with someone now so I just kept it friendly. But the next time I was in she spotted me and waved to me. Looks like someone likes the merchandise. *pretends to drop something then bends over to expose ass then looks back*

Man this makes me sound kind of douchy. But it's true. No! Not that I'm douchy...that she was flirting with me.

I was really just being friendly. Well, maybe a LITTLE flirty but I guess that's my nature. I've never had a problem meeting women. I guess it's because I'm outgoing and I do strike up conversations with the ladies. I kind of feel bad for people that can't meet anyone. I really think a lot of it is that people don't know how to be friendly and smiley. And flirty. And be nice for God's sake. And don't be creepy.

And give compliments. But not fake ones.Oh, and don't talk about yourself the whole time you lummox!

Alright. I'm rambling now. Maybe I'll write a post on "How to Pick Up Woman." I was honestly thinking of writing an Ebook on the subject. But not a cheeseball one. It would be for normal dudes. Maybe someday.


*"They" as in "me." I just made that up.

Chester County Man Endorses Wawa Hoagie. Hoagie Fest.

*singing* "Hoagie fest! Hoagie fest! (something, something, something, something*) Hoagie fest!"

That's the Wawa hoagie fest song that they usually play at the gas pumps during the Wawa hoagie fest celebraish but for some reason they aren't doing it this year. Good thing because it's really annoying. I bet people complained. But I do love my Wawa.

Have you guys heard of Wawas? They're convenience stores in the Northeast and they''re awesome. Great food, clean, fast service. I don't think I've ever met a person that says they don't like Wawa.

And now I will tell you about the sandwich above. It's the Wawa prime rib sandwich and it's DELIIIIIISH!

Please get one and tell me what you think of it. Here's how I order mine:

Prime rib sandwich
horseradish sauce
Provolone cheese
onions
jalapenos
grated cheese.

AWWWWW YEAH!!!

*the "something" part is the part where I forget the words

Battle of the Network Stars! Lynda Carter. Gabe Kaplan. Adrian Zmed.

Here are some pictures from Battle of the Network Stars. Remember that? Stars from the three TV networks competing. It ran from 1976 - 1983.

Lynda Carter. Yowza! You can even see areola!! Before the days of the Internet seeing nipple on TV was like finding gold in them thar hills! Maybe that's why I'm a nipple man. Boob size doesn't matter to me. But give me a nice pair of nips (preferably two) and I'm in!

Peter Urich will you please put some pants on? Seriously.

Ann Jillian. I never thought she was hot. But on a related note she was on a short lived show called "Jennifer Lives Here" back in 1983. I was traveling one time and at a bar I saw the kid that was on the show. I also recognized him from being the kid that was on the first episode of Cheers. I approached him and we had a nice chat. (To read a post about other famous people I've met click here).

Something for the ladies. Oh brother. Look at Zmed.

Howard Cosell: So Gabe how do you think you'll do in today's competition?

Gabe Kaplan: Forget that! Do you think Dr Zibbs will reference me in a blog post when he writes about the Philly art museum on  August 1, 2012? Do ya? Also, what do you think of my look? The hair? The stache? Honestly.

Philly Art Museum. Does Anyone REALLY Like Modern Art? Moulin Rouge.

Behold. Another picture I took at the Philly Art Museum the other day. Now the artist's name escapes me. You know who it is. That one guy? And he painted in Philly? Also did the painting of the guys rowing? Painted in the late 1800's? Damn! I know I'll remember his name as soon as I'm done writing this.

Anyways, the painting above is one of his. If you're like me, it's pretty overwhelming when you're walking through an art museum. Looking at all the unbelievable art. Thinking of the time in history that each piece was created. Knowing that there's no way I could ever begin to create something as great*.

And then you come across this.....

They have a few rooms filled with modern art like the one above. Does anyone else think modern art is BS? And I know the whole explanation that you need to interpret the splatters of paint on a Jackson Pollock painting to fully appreciate it but I still think it's BS.

If you can hand 10 kids or monkeys a paint brush and tell them to create art then mix a Jackson Pollack piece into the mix I guarantee you that 999 out of 1000 people wouldn't be able to tell you the difference. And the people who claim that they like it are full of s#%t!

Am I right? Am I?

OK. Two more painting for you....

Here's a painting I took of people dancing at the Moulin Rouge. Check out my man and his pose. Big sissy if you ask me.Trying to be all fancy. High society bitch ass! If I were there I would totally walk over, bump into him and say, "Do you mind if I dance wif your date?" The only thing you would hear would be the knocking of his knees. (And good thing the French chick is wearing long sleeves. Keeping her hairy pits at bay).

And I know this photo is dark but I took it because it reminds me of someone. Did you guess Gabe Kaplan? Or at least Gabe Kaplan's sad Uncle? "Horseshack sit down. Oh never mind." *slumps down in chair and looks out window*

*Other than this blog of course. But I'm just talking about art here.