Thursday, April 9, 2009

Bali Bras Vs My Nipple Bra Invention. Don't Go Stealin'!



So I just saw this commercial for Bali Bras. Their line is, "for the ultimate modesty". They embroider a cute little flower patch on the inside of the bra in the nipple area so no nipple shows through. This is what I learned from the commercial.

Now as you know, I'm a nipple man.

And the Bali Bra goes totally against a bra invention I conceived about 12 years ago. It's a bra that gives you the support but has a cut out so your nipples show through. Thus making you more desirable and sexy.

I told a few gals at work about it and they all said it was a stupid idea. Something about the friction. Others said women don't want their nipples showing. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Because a few years ago there was a chick on the The Big Idea Show and she said she walked around Vegas with toothpaste caps on her nips as a joke and she go tons of attention and then made a bra to highlight this feature. Thief.

What do you think?

(And the post from Kimmie about our historic meeting can be read here).

45 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

And I need a name for it. How about the "head beamer"?

Cameron said...

How about 'the lick and suck'? Too forward?

Scope said...

Maybe you could put nice sized fake nipples in it, and sell it as a theraputic device (like a glass eye, if you will) for small nippled women, or, not naming names here, women who have a wandering , "walleye" nipple.

That would make you like Jonas Sauk or something.

Cowguy said...

4 thumbs up!

Call it the "SPROING!"

Jeannie said...

If you look in the back of comic books from the 60's, they advertised naughty bras with nipple cutouts along with the crotchless panties. So you do not get to claim that invention.
I don't know what the thing is with the whole nipple modesty thing. I don't really care if the world knows if I'm cold. It's kind of strange when women are showing mega cleavage, thong and bra straps, leg up to there...but we somehow shouldn't let on we have nipples?
I don't get it.
Actually - I'll bet that modesty thing is more to cover those nipple piercings out there. There's something you might not want your boss to be thinking about.
I can't see the nipple cut out bra being comfortable - proper sizing would be crucial and I think it's more likely it would look really bad under a t-shirt. I'm sure the men wouldn't mind but no woman could wear such a thing to work or anywhere else she wanted to be taken seriously. Sorry, thumbs down except for the naughty lingerie department.

Phil Bennett said...

I think you stay simple and call it "The Mood Bra".

Plus as women know all too well, fashion is not always comfortable. So, get your Mood Bra today. Maybe we could do an infomercial and have the Sham-wow guy do it??

Peace,

Phil
p.s you need to make a prototype and let one of your "people" model it.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

yeah, um, two words ladies, WONDER BRA!!

seriously, when i was a nursing the youngins' i was a playboy bunny but alas, that was not sustainable. and i was very sad.

but the wonder bra, oh the wonder bra!

I AM HEALED! I CAN WALK AGAIN!!

mo.stoneskin said...

If you extended Scope's idea and put actual glass eyes in then the wearer could really freak people out too. What a great idea.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

wait, that wasn't the point of the post- so yes, no nips, seems kind of tacky and makes me feel icky. So- smooth wonder mounds though, emphasis on the beauty of the mounds, makes one feel wonderful and makes the waist smaller.

again, thanks to the wonder bra,

I AM HEALED! I CAN WALK AGAIN!

buffalodick said...

Well, now you know why I hang out in the frozen food section of the grocery store all summer...

Sass said...

I've never minded the nipples showing...

Which is why my garbage men love me so much.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I don't bother with the bra. Sorry, I'm no help!

Happy Friday Eve!

- Jennifer

Anna Russell said...

Your idea is even more genius than you realise because the whole jogger's nipple thing would mean women wearing your bra wouldn't wear anything else over it. They'd just walk down the street with their nipples on display.

Peggy said...

Your post was kinda pervy, as expected but Kimmie's post was GREAT!

ps - nips are overrated...you have em too!

Mandy's Kidding said...

I thought the little flower was extra padding to cover your nipples? You know, like nipple armor so they don't poke through?

Dominica said...

The 'they still say hello bra' ??

Candy's daily Dandy said...

High beaming has it's pluses and negatives.

Of course, the attention you get when it happens can be flattering, so if your're at a bar or a company picnic-great! It's never a good thing to be beaming when you are say, going for communion at church.

It's not like we can control it.

moooooog35 said...

Sounds like we could go into business.

Combine my 'Topless Shirt' idea plus your 'Nipple Bra' and we're rich!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

How about "The Nip Slip"?

Kimmie said...

I'm just curious...how big is this "cut-out"?

Girl Interrupted said...

"The Immodesty Bodice"?

Just make sure you add a disclaimer advising the use of sun block on hot days

SkylersDad said...

You could name it the "Turkey's are done" bra??

Greta said...

Ah...if only my nipples were representations of my intellect. Then I wouldn't mind them protruding so much.

O.G. said...

You're like the ron popeil of bras. Nip-Slip was a great idea!

Kim said...

Cut out nipples probably aren't going to work because, let's face it, bloody nips just aren't attractive, or enjoyable. You could sew some fake nubbies on the outside of the bra, but that's just false advertising. Or you could do like I do and never wear a bra.

Dr Zibbs said...

Peggy - pervy?

Kimmie - Depends on the size.

Susan said...

Hey, not bad for a night out. And hey, I might even order one for an upcoming interview!

diane said...

Having been without modesty most of my days, I don't really care for this invention. The "boys" have a mind of their own, no tricky bra needed.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Are you trying to tell me that you haven't patented the "head beamer" name for your fabulous invention? I don't know about that. Now that it is on your blog, it might just be fair game for the takin'...for me.

-Francesca

words words words said...

The Glory Hole Bra.

Andy said...

Nips are NOT overrated, commenters. They are underappreciated. And a woman's nips are much different than a man's- much sexier. So, Yak, I'm behind you on this one.

Swedish Chef said...

Call it the "Ar-e-hole-a Bra" (patent pending)

When do I get to meet you Zibbs...Shhhhhhh...I mean the REAL you.

In other news, someone in my staff meeting today asked me where I got this awesome pen which has a tentacled cephalopod swimming on it... I told her to mind her damn business.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I've been looking for a bra like that - if you see an ad, let me know so I can stock up. My man loves 'my girls' and I don't mind showing them off. It freaks people out because chicks in chairs are supposed to be asexual. Hahahaha! Yeah...

Girl Interrupted said...

And ... a dead squirrel in your hard what?

sista #2 said...

Call it the Zibbnip.

And you work?



peace
#2

J.J. in L.A. said...

You know, now that I think about it, I've seen 'em on Ebay...

S t a c i said...

Amy Sedaris cuts the ends off of organic lemons and stuffs them down her bra for an extra nipply effect. Take a look:
http://www.feministing.com/archives/002853.html

a striver for sanity said...

What would the male equivalent be? Putting a Kotex pad in their Speedos?

Michelle said...

How about Bra with two holes in it for your nipples or BWTHIIFYN!!!!

It works for me!!!

Kristen said...

Maybe you should stick with designing stripper clothes...and leave the day-to-day undergarment design to the pro's. Don't get me wrong. You are the King of the pole-dancing runway designs. I love wearing your stuff! My customers like your designs too!

Dr Zibbs said...

Staci - I'm a huge fan. I need to look that up.

sista #2 said...

I ask her if you had a nice ass.

That's all I look at in a man. A nice ass in a pair of Levi's......ohhhh the joy

peace
#2

Gwen said...

I'm not sure a bra that highlights my nipples is going to make me more desirable and sexy, given the whole walleye business and all. But I like that you spend so much time thinking about nipples. Shows your sensitive side.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen - I'm so sensitive you can't even stand it. Can you?

Anonymous said...

*** bras with nipple holes...1/4 cup bras and those that sit just below the nipple...these have been around for decades.

There were/are bras with a cup edge that stops below the nipple...bras with fake nipple bumps on the surface (including ones with fake pigment to show through your clothing). So have fake nipple bumps that fit into your bra. They have been around for decades

They were just mostly unknown because everybody was so freaked out by bodies and sex (as if everybody lived in Georgia or Virginia or Saudi Arabia).

So before the sexual revolution happened they were just not really known to average people (just like crotchless undies). Only those people with good positive sexual ideas knew about anything involving sex and these folk tended to have trouble fitting in with all the Victorian Americans.

*** I wish that people had not forced the entire Christianized / Islamic (derived in part from Christianity) world to believe that the body is always to be covered (even when you live in a place so hot it could kill you to wear clothing) and that skin -always- means sex. It is a type of fetish and we are all forced to participate in by those in authority and that is pretty sick. Fail to agree with the fetish and you get to have trouble with the police.

We do not make covering out feet mandatory because some people are foot fetishists...neither do we make patent leather shoes illegal to wear because some people get all heated up by them.


*** historical and costume drama movies h(even the award winners) ave their corsetry wrong...as they are unable to get away from the idea that a bare pink body bit showing as a part of daily life must somehow be sexual. The corsets worn for several hundred years (early Renaissance on forward for a long time) sat below the nipples and shoved them up over the edge of the bust line of the fabric. In later eras the corset was so ornate (with pearls and gold thread work, etc) that the gown was sheer silk and the entire corset and the part of the breast that sat above them, were seen by all.

Unless you were very old, it was declasse to cover up your bust (and a sign that ones designated men you could not "protect the women properly..."). People for most of time were not worried about showing any part of the body...and when they did care some nipples were not on the list of things to worry about covering.