Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Real Practical Joke. Calendar Models. College High Jinks.

So I while back on my blog I did a series of posts about practical jokes I've done. Here's another one. Grab a carpet mat and have a seat and I'll treat you to another one. Gather in closer now.

You! No eating!

OK. So it was in college and I'm walking down the dorm hall and this jackass that I never could stand was leaning against a doorway harassing this shy girl.

Guy: So admit it Patty. You're a virgin.

Shy Girl: Will you just shut up.

Guy: It's not a big deal. But why won't you admit it? You're a virgin aren't you?

Shy Girl:
(about to cry) Just shut up.

This had been going on for a while.

So later on that night, I was hanging out with these two chick that were really funny and asked the one to do this. I was going to do it myself but was afraid he'd recognize by voice. So the one called him:

(Phone rings)


My Chick Friend:
Hello is this Barry?

Guy: Yeah.

My Chick Friend: Well hello Barry, this is Mary Ann from American Collegiate Calendars.... And the reason we're calling is that we put out a calendar every year featuring various students from colleges in the region and we'd like to see if you'd be interested in posing.

Guy: (All excited and shit) Really?

My Chick Friend: Really. Now we did get your name anonymously from someone that apparently watches you play football? - looks like you've got an admirer. Would you mind posing in your football outfit?

Guy: Yeah OK.

So we give him more info and tell him that the photographer was going to be at a specific building in a week. This jackass was so excited he called every friend he knew, called his parents and was walking around like a dick.

So the day comes and I see him walking out of the dorm. About an hour later he comes back all pissed off, opens his door and throws his crap in the room.

Mission accomplished. Don't mess with Zibbs.


Girl Interrupted said...

Aww! That was kinda chivalrous of you!

You're my hero.

Dr Zibbs said...

Girl I - are you saying that I'm a...that I'm a super hero in a way? Yeah - I think you are.


Well I...I guess I am but that's just the kind of thing I do. I'm just being myself you know.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to help some old lady with her groceries.

Dr Zibbs said...

And as I just tweeted, I've just recorded a homeless person singing a proposed TBY theme song.

You can listen to it by hitting "play" on the Snapvine recorder located conveniently on my sidebar.

Miss Alex said...

BAAAAAHAHAHAH that's awesome you totally rule for that...

Question Did you ever tell shy girl?

Dr Zibbs said...

Miss Alex - I was going to tell her after I did her but sometimes heroes don't like to brag.

Cora said...

Awwwww. The jerk sooo had that coming!

Lostinspace said...

jerk jocks getting jizzed. Warms my heart.

Girl Interrupted said...

*Holds up a lighter and sways, all caught up and stuff in the emotion of the theme song and sings along*

"Cos That Blue Yak is the gweatest blog in the land. Yes it is. Positive"

Dr Zibbs said...

Girl I - Thanks.

I heard some hobo singing it this morning and he said it was OK to record him as long as I would split the merchandising rights with him.

WendyB said...

Chivalry is not dead. It's kind of weird, but still alive and kicking.

Gwen said...

I love you even more now that I know that sometimes, just sometimes, you use your talents for good and not evil. You're the wind beneath my wings, Doc.

I LOVE the new TBY themesong! How much did you pay him? A stick of gum and the lint from your left pocket?

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen - His payment was that I wouldn't steal his can of beans.

sista #2 said...

When did Elmer Fudd become homeless??????


Kimmie said...

I love good deeds!!

Gaston Studio said...

A total hero!

Kimmie said...

I need closed captioning. Or a lyrics page. SOMETHING.

B.E. Earl said...

Reminds me of a practical joke we tried in college that never took off.

Freshman year. No one had a phone in their rooms, you had a public phone at the end of the hall. We decided that we wanted to steal all of our friend's furniture and stash it in the room across the hall, so we had to get him out of the room for 10 minutes or so.

So I called him pretending to be a senior high school student (Greg from Christian Brothers Academy) doing a research paper on religion and the modern college student. I told him that I had received his name from a mailing list and I had a questionnaire for him. He agreed to participate.

So I gave the sign to my buddies and they ran off to sack his room. Turns out his family had popped in unexpectedly and they burst in and stammered an apology. In the meantime, however, I'm on the phone and my buddy is giving incredibly honest answers to my questions. Turns out he was thinking about the priesthood or some kind of service to the Church, and I was becoming more and more embarrassed at looking into the very private life of someone I called a friend all in the name of a practical joke.

I was on the phone with him for about 10 minutes and I was feeling like a heel. Then my other friends gave me the cutoff sign and I thanked him and hung up. I found out that they couldn't go through with it for obvious reasons and I felt even worse.

Fast-forward three years. We are seniors and about to graduate. Me and him are drunk and reminiscing about the great times we have had over the years. I suddenly remember my time as "Greg from Christian Brothers Academy", and I spill the beans.

At first the look of shock on his face was a bit terrifying. Was he gonna hate me? Then he started laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks. He thought it was the funniest practical joke gone bad story he had ever heard. And I felt better as I had been carrying around that guilt lo those 3 years.


Sorry for the long comment. Shit sometimes happens, yo!

Dr Zibbs said...

Lyrics to come.

Greta said...

Lol. You should've told him the theme was football players in their underwear.

steenky bee said...

My heart grows fonder for you somehow after reading this. Could you come deal with some jackass interns we have here at work. Much appreciated.

Fancy Schmancy said...

OMG, I don't know which is better, yours or BE Earl's. Good job, guys.

Phat Mama said...

Incredibly sweet of you. Glad he got his.

Cameron said...

That Blue Yak - men want to be him, women want to be with him. His kryptonite - kryptonite (mixed with uranium....and jello)

Rachel said...

Could you help me exaxt revenge on my mother-in-law?

Vic said...

Is your middle name 'karma'?

I am pleased with you, Zibbsy. And a little scared.

TishTash said...

Nice, Zibby. That is far more impressive than the pranks I play on people I don't like where I call them idiots, which is not really a prank as it is the truth.

raf said...

I shall call you the "House" of blogger...
A complete ##hole with a golden soft and fluffy heart!
You are a sweetie!
You should sell "blue yak peluches" with your recorded voice inside "send me your naked pictures" or whatever you'd like to say!

Jeannie said...

Cool song definitely.

And you sir are also cool - you were cool when most guys are jerks.

I may retroactively fall in love or something.

~E said...

Wait wait!!! What happened? What was in the building?!?!

dmb5_libra said...

that's friggin awesome. i hope that brought him down a few notches...loser.

words...words...words... said...

I like a good practical joke, and dare I say...DATS A GOOD VON!

Especially since it was at the expense of some Neanderthal.

Scope said...

I thought "Shy Girl" was going to be the photographer.

Or you were going to leave a message at the dorm that the photog was running late and would do the shoot tomorrow.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anti-Zibs said...

I think a saw Robbie Benson tell the same story on Letterman...or was that Neil "Thee Man" Diamond. Forget..Not to be confused with Van "The Man" Morrison who has to come in second with most played drunk songs with "Brown Eye Girl"

Dr Zibbs said...

Steenky Bee - thanks.

Vic - Don't be afraid. Now step closer.

WWW - you've earned the right to use that phrase anytime.

Kez said...

Nice work! I feel that justice was done.
You used your pranking for good and not evil :)

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Kez.

ric said...