Friday, April 3, 2009

Tongues, Arrows, Bigfoot and Other Random Stuff.

Here are some random thoughts.

1) I hate the new Geico commercial - the one where "someone's watching you".

2) My feet are so big that when I have to cut my toenails I need to soak them in the tub first because they're hard like tortoise shells.

3) Family Highlights Magazine always made me sick. Especially that wooden family.

4) I need to buy some more underwear. This time, I'm only buying black briefs.

5) I hope my dog lives for a long time. He's 10 now and he's really starting to look old.

6) I'd love to have a goat for a pet if I didn't have to take care for it and it didn't smell.

7) When I was about 17 my mom told me that my tongue was connected to the bottom of my mouth when I was born so it had to be snipped. You would never know by looking at me but it still makes me wonder if I'm technically a freak.

8) I haven't shot a bow and arrow since I was younger but I'd love to take it up again someday.

9) My doctor is holding me ransom by not giving me my adderal until I get a physical. Is that ethical? Or even legal?

10) At least 10 people have said to me in the last year, "Wow, you're really getting grey." It doesn't bother me but isn't that like telling a chick her ass is getting fat?

11) When I was a kid, I was really into the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot and all that stuff.

12) I've been thinking a lot lately about how my son will be going to college in two years. And I can't imagine what it will be like without him here all the time.


Sass said...

Hey Zibbs...I just want you to know...THIS post is the Zibbs I love.

I just thought you should know that.

Your toenails disgust me. THEY make you a freak...not your tongue.

I'm just sayin'.

Sparky said...

I'm pretty sure that's where the saying "tongue tied" came from.

Susan said...

I seriously got a nasty visual of a hard, nasty toenail. I thought about puking but then realized I've posted my toe and my armpit stain, so I'll supress the urge.

CrotchPains said...

As for #12, don't fret. Once he graduates college, you'll be quickly reminded what its like having him around the house all the time....

Michelle said...

He Dr Z this was kinda a cool post except of course for #2 No need for anybody to know that info!!

I had no idea you have a kid almost in college! That must make you OLD!!!


moooooog35 said...

Dude, you don't need the toenail/tongue stuff to confirm you're a freak.

Just saying.


The Kettle

Soda and Candy said...

I'm sure the grey is very distinguished.

I also hate the Geico money-stack, it was one of my first posts!

; )

sista #2 said...

Zibbszee, I agree, you are a freak regardless of your imperfections.

Telling a woman her ass is big is like telling a man his dick is tiny.....just don't go there.

And thanks for the black brief comment. Now I can sleep at night knowing you wear black panties.


gorillabuns said...

i have two kids who are tongue-tied and yes, they are freaks but i'm not sure it has anything to do with their strange tongues.

Samsmama said...

My doctor wouldn't renew my birth control prescription until I came in. Lucky for her I didn't get knocked up. I'd have dropped that baby on her front porch.

Wings said...

Non-random comments to your random thoughts:
1) Ditto
2) Close, but not that bad
3) meh
4) all set
5) mine too...
6) goat no, monkey, hells yah
7) I had a knee that bent the opposite way, but they "corrected it" at age 2... course, that has led to many other issues, but hey
8) I want a catapault
9) seems wrong to me...
10) yes it is... I got the senior discount the other day and I am under 40...
11) me too, scared the crap out of me
12) my oldest is married now, too... time just FREAKING flies...

Great post!

diane said...

I agree with Sass, posts like this are why we keep coming back. I think I love you man.
Once your kids move out, you never stop missing them, fact of life.
Cute hubby has tons of gray, very sexy. When he "switched up" his underwear, he bought beautiful shades of deep blue-green & ocean colors, really nice. Black is cool though.

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Diane and Sass. Except Sass the toenails and feet are large, it's not like they're black and diseased.

Although all mens and most women's feet kind of gross me out.

Phil Bennett said...

I can relate to the feet/toenail thing. But you know what they say about guys with big toenails!!

Anyway, my son turns 21 today...and it is unbelievable!

I am NOT that old!!


p.s Check out my random thoughts blog about squirrels...God's most perfect creature. Where are my f-ing MEDS!!!

buffalodick said...

Number nine- My doctor pulled the same stunt.. I asked him "You put me on these drugs for a reason, and now you are going to withhold them?" Had new prescription in nothing flat...

Blonde Goddess said...


Kelly said...

I hope that the dog lasts a long time. If not, have I got the dog for you... She's cute.

Girl Interrupted said...

Aww! That made me want to give you a hug!

Ps: I had you down as a tighty-whities man

Dr Zibbs said...

Kelly - If my dog dies I might get a baby pig. I just saw a video of a baby pig on H's blog.

diane said...

Zibbs, since you obviously have some kind of affinity with Girl Interrupted, you need to go read her blog right now, it's brilliant & I thought of you right away when I read it (she's like the female version of you).

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - Girl I is one of my favorite bloggers. Hysterical!

Cora said...

Black briefs, huh? I pictured you as a boxers kind of man. Interesting....

As for the grey comments, that's just rude. You're right, it's like calling a woman "fat ass" - I think some retaliation is in order and it would seriously make funny blog material. Soooo, whatcha gonna do? ;-)

B.E. Earl said...

I started going gray at 24, so people have been telling me for 18 years now how gray I'm getting. It's almost all gray now. So I'm hoping they stop soon.

Dr Zibbs said...

Cora, I wear boxers too but won't wear them with suit pants because they don't provide the needed "containment" of the package shall we say.

In jeans, who cares. It's all about being casual anyway.

H said...

Zibbs - you so need that baby pig! It would cement your freak status once and for all.

Phat Mama said...

Weirded out by the toenails. But big feet are nice.

I like black boxer briefs the best. Yumm.

I had to put my beloved dog down last fall & I'm still not over it.

It's the things you can do with your tongue that might make you a freak.

Coming from a woman with a jiggly bum, yes it is the same. Flip those people the bird when they point out your grey, not because you're bothered but because they're rude asshats.

Letting them go - one of the hardest things you'll ever do.

diane said...

I love that Phat Mama likes big feet & admits to an ass that juggles.

diane said...

I meant "jiggles", but now I have a total funny visual involving a mule and 3 dwarfs.

Jeannie said...

I like to eat goat.
My son had a tongue tie - we didn't realize until he had tubes put in his ears - the surgeon snipped it - he was so thrilled to be able to stick out his tongue after that.
I loved archery as a kid too. My brother used to make his own bows and arrows (and guitars) - yeah - he was weird.
I was standing at the door to Costco today waiting for my son and I was looking at all the greying men and thinking jealously, how come men look so great when they go grey and women just look old. Except for that one lady who looked fantastic.
I was into all the "mystery" shit too and still like it even if I think it's BS
It will be lonely when he goes away. I don't know how you will survive if you don't have more kids. Maybe you could be a foster parent.
Or you could have sex in any room of the house anytime like you used to.

Cameron said...

Reading number 10 quickly, I thought it said, "Wow, you're really gay."

I thought to myself, of course who would think this of the verile Zibbsy. He is a total ladie's man!

J.J. in L.A. said...

1) Someone should fire that ad agency.

2) Try having 'disabled' feet. It ain't pretty.

3) I feel this way about The Enquirer.

4) Do what my man does, don't wear any.

5) Get a new 'old' dog when the time comes.

6) Goats are over-rated. We called ours 'Shithead' for a reason.

7) Who said you aren't a freak?

8) Thank goodness you live in PA!

9) Yes

10) You can't see mine because it blends well with my hair color. Yay for Sun-In!

11) I was told (by a cousin) that Bigfoot lived in MN. I didn't go there til I was 17.

12) He'll be home every weekend to do laundry.

Prunella Jones said...

When I was 22 I dyed my hair silvery grey just to see what it would look like. I liked it, though hoochie blonde was easier to keep. When it happens for real, I'll happily throw out my Miss Clariol.

Fancy Schmancy said...

#12, remember that email where I told you about how when you weren't an asshole it really attracted the women? This would be it.

Dr Zibbs said...

Fancy - thanks for understanding my sensitive side. do I ask this while I'm still being sensitive? Would you mind taking off your....

Oh I can't say it.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Your feet aren't big, dude. You've got a fungal infection under your nails.

Brian said...

I too would like to take up archery. I have no idea why.

Candice said...

Ain't nuthing wrong with a little salt and peppa in the hair department.

Oh and are the black man-panties to hide the skid marks? Just curious.

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Candice. And I'm picturing you saying that in the sexy pose you're doing in your avatar.

Chele said...

hey you know where to come if you need a bow and arrow coach. Thats my thing

Kate said...

You have a son who is in high school? Wow. Does he read your blog?