Thursday, July 16, 2009

Phoebe Cates And Story About This Dude That Got Caught Masturbating.



Did you now Phoebe Cates is 46 today? Where did the time go? Whenever I think of her I think of Fastimes at Ridgemont High when she was getting out of the pool. And Judge Reinhold was peaking out the window knocking out a batch by hand.

And whenever I think of that, it reminds me of a story that a friend of mine tells of when he was in college. I wasn't even there when this incident happened but I used to make him tell the story once in a while because it just cracks me up.

"So my roommate Rich used to live across the hall with that dude Mike. And Mike went to class one day..halfway there, he realizes he forgets his book. So he turns around and goes back to the room. He opens the door and Rich is standing there holding a playboy and whacking off. Rich is so completely startled and that he throws the magazine up in the air and screams,..."WHAT???"

Just the image of that cracks me the hell up.

So did you ever get busted or bust someone?

(If you want to see the trailer from Fastimes, click here - but keep your hands where I can see them you pervs)

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did I win?

Anonymous said...

YAY! First comment! What do I get?

Verdant Earl said...

C'mon! You were the dude that got caught. Right? Just changing the names to protect yourself. I get it. ::wink::

Dr Zibbs said...

Kimmie - you win bragging rights. Please walk the halls and tell all of your coworkers.

Dr Zibbs said...

Earl - Uh....No?

Cora said...

A boy in high school got caught doing it in math class. Everyone kept hearing these knocking noises of his hand hitting the underside of the desk and eventually the teacher saw what was... uhhh... up. The boy was expelled pronto.

Slyde said...

i beleive Zibbs over Earl anyday...

FunnyGal KAT said...

This happened to a friend of mine in college except... he was still in the room. He woke up a few times to hear his roommate... uh... working the morning wood in the next bed over. It got to the point where he would cough and make a lot of noise to let the dude know when he was awake, but I don't think he ever said anything to him about it.

Dr Zibbs said...

Funny Gal Kat - I was told by an RA in college that saying that your roomie wouldn't stop maturbating was one of the only ways to switch roomies mid semester.

Not sure of it was true or not.

Julie D said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, glad you think I give great head(er)....

SparkleFarkel said...

Phoebe Cates is adorable! I'm not so sure about Rich. Recalling my Fast Times at Ridgemont High "daze": Why is it mothers (at least mine) think it's okay to parade around in their-bra-for-tops while their getting ready in the morning, or to go somewhere? For me, it was a good way to keep my calorie intake under control. Mom made skipping meals easy.

Dr Zibbs said...

Julie - you're velcome.

Dr Zibbs said...

Julie - you're velcome.

MJenks said...

So...where's the punchline? Just a dude and a Playboy? No pillows? No pile of spunk left under the room mate's blankets? No "and then he shrugged and kept on doing it"?

Girl Interrupted said...

I've never caught/been caught by anybody doing THAT ... but I did go to a party in my wild teenage years, drank way too much cider, crashed out in one of the bedrooms only to wake up a few hours later to find a couple having sex right next to me on the bed :/ ... I guess they couldn't wait for me to regain consciousness. I was torn between horror and hysteria and didn't dare move, just lay there with my eyes squeezed shut, trying to force my ears to shut using the power of my mind, shouting "ew! Ew! EW!" and "I will not laugh! I will NOT laugh" over and over in my head ... except for when she asked him "isn't it meant to be stiff?" and then I had to make out that my mocking snort of derision was a drunken snore.

Dr Zibbs said...

Girl I - is WHAT meant to be.....

...oh OK. I knew what you were talking about. Just kiddin'. Yeah...kiddin'..

Wings1295 said...

Never been caught, or caught anyone. But...

The first year of my being step-dad to my son (who was 11 at the time), I had to be the one to give him the talk when it became obvious he was... growing up?

Anyway, after a great talk, explaing that it was all perfectly normal, nothing at all wrong with anything, just keep it private, yadda yadda, he proceeds to say he understands perfectly.

We walk out of his room and he walks up to his mom and says, point blank, "I masturbate."

.... Glad he had no embarrasment, but it totally won awkward moment of the decade. She had nothing else to say other than, "Uh, okay."

The Jules said...

A "friend" (honest) swears that he experienced the old urban myth for himself, whilst fiddling furiously under his duvet at home, and when he emerged there was a nice hot cup of tea from his Mum on the bedside table.

Organic Meatbag said...

I say right now without hesitation that Phoebe Cates is the hottest chick...EVER...
So yeah, this post speaks to me...

Fancy Schmancy said...

My ex roommate caught her new roommate in her bedroom doorway spanking it one night. Ew.

Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

Here's a snippet from a blog post of mine from more than 2 years ago. Thought you might enjoy it, as masturbation stories never get old, really:

"... His son had moved down to Philadelphia and lived in the same apartment building as a good friend of mine, JB. Now, this building was angled in places such that at least one window of JB's apartment looked down into that guy's place. JB told me that he looked down there one evening and thought he saw the guy playing flamenco-style guitar -- you know, with that rather frenetic, humming-bird-like movement. However, upon further, uh, squinting, it turned out that the guy was masturbating. To this day, I can't help but smirk whenever anyone says 'flamenco.' "

Kimberly said...

I call it ALONE time for a reason.

Mrs. Hall said...

It's the whole throwing the playboy in the air and screaming WHAT!!!

that's that part that made me pee as I belly laughed!!!

omg so fucking funny!!!

Caffeine Court said...

Wow. No one is admitting to getting caught!

How about you? Any good stories about YOU?

By the way, I met Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline at the Public Theater in NYC. It was 15 years ago. She was gorgeous and he was hot!

Andy - Instafather said...

I didn't get caught doing that, but I did kill a drifter once just to get an erection.

Prunella Jones said...

Once my roommate bought a textbook at the college bookstore and found a picture inside it of some guy whacking off. Just his peen and right hand were visible. We named him Spanky and put the pic in the corner of the mirror and sometimes when I was drunk I'd tell people he was my boyfriend.

Dominica said...

LOL No, never got caught !
Thank God !
With kids in the house, you get pretty creative in finding ways to dance with yourself. :-)
..Oh, to be honest, I got caught not so long ago, by my cat, does that count too ?

J.J. in L.A. said...

Shortly after my mom remarried (in my early 20's), her b-i-l stopped by the house. Neither one was home but I expected them soon and let the guy in.

We were talking at the kitchen table and I saw some hand movement under the table. I (bravely) took another glance and...YUP! He was going to town!

I told him I had to use the restroom then called a friend to have her call me back in exactly 1 minute. After I picked up the phone, I told him it was a long-distance call from a relative and showed him the door, my friend still on the phone. He left and I told her what happened.

When mom and the hubby returned, shortly thereafter, that was the 1st thing out of my mouth. The hubs told his brother if he ever DARED to try that again, he'd get his ass kicked.

Good times!

Andrew Rodriguez said...

When I was in the Army stationed in Japan, we were in bunk beds, and I awoke early one morning to feel my bunk swaying back and forth, as I cringed at the realization that the guy in the bottom bunk must be going at it. Turns out, someone turned on the lights in the barracks and the lights were swaying from the cieling too, it was in fact 3.0 Earthquake. :)

Gwen said...

I can't believe no one is admitting anything. You're all a bunch of liars.

I got caught having sex quite a few times but never rubbing one out. Come to think of it, I never had to do it myself in college. Ahhhh, college.

Gotta go. I, uh . . . I've, uh, got something that needs my immediate attention. While I'm gone, you pussies should man up and tell the truth.

Dr Zibbs said...

Why is it that whenever I post something sexual you pervs come out of the woodwork.

You guys are freaks.

Dr Zibbs said...

And Prunella - I want to see that picture. But black out the private parts because it's a dude and all.

sybil law said...

Oh yes. I caught a roommate (guy) jerking off on the couch one night - and he wasn't even watching a porno, or anything remotely LIKE porn! I actually wouldn't have known he was jerking if he hadn't said, "Oh, shit!", and fumbled around.
I never looked at him the same.

diane said...

I'm not sharing anything this private, but I love Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass's comment the best.

Mrs. Hall said...

now i am home, re-reading and such.
still so funny! shoulders bouncing and everything!

goddamn that funny stuff!

Dr Zibbs said...

Mrs Holly Hall - it's even funnier of you saw my friend imitate it.

Valerie said...

As far as I know I've never been caught masturbating. I think any sharing of stories of me catching someone would be a breach of patient/client- health care professional confidentiality. Mostly more disturbing than funny though, so don't feel like your missing out.

Anonymous said...

i got better,i didn't need that ,,just yelling my name "mastur.... "
-that my fisrt name

King of New York Hacks said...

Its freely done on the NYC subway these days...nobody really pays attention...but I remember when that movie came out on vhs...I may have closed the door while watching it ...heh heh heh

Dr Zibbs said...

Wow. How did you find this post after all this time?