Small Snake Freakin' Me Out. Phobias and Bed Bug Problem.

Sssssssss!!!! Here's a picture of a snake I captured in a bucket. You may remember this bucket as the same one I use in The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. Yeah. It's the same one! I love the sound of the clanking handle.

I have no problem with big snakes. If someone had a boa constrictor or python, I would put it around my neck in a second.

There's something about these small snakes though that freak me out. They move too fast and I think they're sneaky.

Not many things freak me out or spook me but the other thing that makes me sick is something I heard on the news this morning. Do you know that there's a major problem with bed bugs? There is. So watch out.

The other thing in the yard that freaks me out is when I pick up a rock and a vole comes running out. That's when I scream like a girl.

What grosses you out or sickens you? And don't say me.

Chris Elliott Always Cracks My Ass Up.

Chris Elliott has always cracked me up. From his appearances on Letterman to his short lived show Get a Life to his movie appearances.

Here's a clip of him from Letterman. I never saw this one before. I just love his dry, jackass delivery.

Is anyone else a fan?

Hobo Blog Song Has Everyone Talking. Composer Contest.

For readers of my blog that check out the comments and the Twitter comments - they were treated to a little gem yesterday. It was a That Blue Yak theme song recorded by me. It was a local hobo that happened to be singing the praises of my blog. It's right over there on the sidebar. Click play on the Snapvine recorder.

In case you want to sing along, here are the lyrics:

That Blue Yak is the best blog in the land
It will take your heart and then take you by your hand.
You can read it at home or you can read it at worky
But if you read it you will not be a jive turkey
Because That Blue Yak is the Greatest blog in the land. (yes it is)

(Part 2)

Some of the blogs are totally gay
But not That Blue Yak it will get you every single day
From the city slickers to the hillbillie hicks
Dr Zibbs blog is followed by many dudes and chicks

Because That Blue Yak is the Greatest Blog in the Land.
(It's the greatest blog in the fuckin' land)

Note how the hobo is a blog reader because it's kind of sung to the tune of Eight Is Enough. Which I just blogged about.

Well here's the great part. If you leave a verse in the comments section I'm going to go back to the hobo and his friends and ask them to sing YOUR SONG. Now I'll probably only have the top two songs done because you know how hobos can be with their music. But give it a shot.

It will be something that you can record and proudly give to your grandchildren someday.

Blogger Does Video of Putting On Makeup.

So check out this video of the blogger E. I'm a long time reader of her blog and she's read mine for a while too.

Great to finally see her. (Even though she has shown a few clips but none this revealing).

While you're there, make sure to follow her blog because it's a good one.

Real Practical Joke. Calendar Models. College High Jinks.

So I while back on my blog I did a series of posts about practical jokes I've done. Here's another one. Grab a carpet mat and have a seat and I'll treat you to another one. Gather in closer now.

You! No eating!

OK. So it was in college and I'm walking down the dorm hall and this jackass that I never could stand was leaning against a doorway harassing this shy girl.

Guy: So admit it Patty. You're a virgin.

Shy Girl: Will you just shut up.

Guy: It's not a big deal. But why won't you admit it? You're a virgin aren't you?

Shy Girl: (about to cry) Just shut up.

This had been going on for a while.

So later on that night, I was hanging out with these two chick that were really funny and asked the one to do this. I was going to do it myself but was afraid he'd recognize by voice. So the one called him:

(Phone rings)

Guy: Hello?

My Chick Friend: Hello is this Barry?

Guy: Yeah.

My Chick Friend: Well hello Barry, this is Mary Ann from American Collegiate Calendars.... And the reason we're calling is that we put out a calendar every year featuring various students from colleges in the region and we'd like to see if you'd be interested in posing.

Guy: (All excited and shit) Really?

My Chick Friend: Really. Now we did get your name anonymously from someone that apparently watches you play football? - looks like you've got an admirer. Would you mind posing in your football outfit?

Guy: Yeah OK.

So we give him more info and tell him that the photographer was going to be at a specific building in a week. This jackass was so excited he called every friend he knew, called his parents and was walking around like a dick.

So the day comes and I see him walking out of the dorm. About an hour later he comes back all pissed off, opens his door and throws his crap in the room.

Mission accomplished. Don't mess with Zibbs.

Gayest TV Theme Song Ever. Eight Is Enough.

What is the gayest TV theme song ever? The votes are in and it's season 3 of Eight is Enough.

"We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes? " How did anyone approve that line. (Clenches butt) I feel kind of gay just saying it.

But I'll tell you one thing, some of those sisters were hot.

And Nicholas? Everyone always said he was cute but look at the size of that head. It's huge! That thing wouldn't even fit into a standard sized bowling ball bag. Think about it.

So now is the time to listen to the song and finally realize how terrible it was. Who was YOUR favorite character on Eight is Enough? And why was David so serious all the time?

Practical Jokes, Weddings and New Blog Readers.

That's it - I've got it! I just thought of a great practical joke. Once I find a new reader that seems very vulnerable, I thought I could lead her on. Like I'm in love with her. You guys can help by leaving comments on her blog saying, "He totally likes you".

Then, on the wedding day, all of you guys can pretend to be my real life friends. And just when I'm supposed to say "I do" I'll say,

"I...I...(looking at you guys in church trying not to laugh)..I GOT YOU". Some one can crawl up behind her and and I'll push her over you so she falls on the floor.

Then the priest will pull off his fake mask showing he's some D list actor (maybe Screech from Saved by the Bell or David from Eight is Enough) and a huge drape will fall on the alter that's covering a huge monitor that's shows all of the people she works with watching this hysterical joke.

Then we'll all point and laugh. Is everyone in?

Neil Diamond. Sweet Caroline. Clarinet Playing In PA

Remember Neil Diamond singing Sweet Caroline? When I played the clarinet in 3rd grade I had to learn to play Sweet Caroline.

Never could get it down. I faked the whole thing.

Here's how it's supposed to sound. So are you a lover or hater of Neil Diamond? I used to hate him but then realized how great he is. Embrace your cheesey side people.

Topsy Turvey Sales. So Close - Yet So Far Away. Tomato.

Whoa! Look at the Topsy Turvy upside down growing bag on my sidebar. Growing tomatoes upside down? Huh?

And it works too. Have you seen the commercial? One blogger told me she bought one this weekend at Kmart and another blogger told me she MIGHT be buying one from me. I couldn't make this stuff up. So close yet so far away.

Do you know what it means for you though? You could be one of the first people to buy the Topsy Turvy from That Blue Yak. And if you do, I get something like 30 cents. And if you're on the line about making the purchase I want you to know that when I spend that 30 cents I'll be thinking about really sick children. In YOUR honor!

So what are you guys growing in your veggie gardens this year?

And here's my veggie garden tip of the day: "To keep deer away, I like to make a mixture of soap and Tabasco and spray it on the leaves. I also grow some mint and clip it and string it around my garden fence. If you have a wolf or a bear, try chaining it to your garden fence. That should work too".

Happy Easter. WCHE 1520. Gigantic Monster Jesus.

Number one - stay calm. If my calculations are correct, the real Jesus will rise from the dead today at 3:00. He will have grown to 100 feet tall.

And he's pissed.

I'm urging all citizens to gather as many eggs as they can. When the gigantic Jesus approaches you, throw the eggs directly at his heart. You've got to trust me on this.

I will be releasing a message to all survivors via the West Chester radio station WCHE 1520 AM in a few days with a plan for rebuilding.

Good luck.

Green Onions. Booker T. Seeds and Things For West Chester Garden.

So I've picked up the following that will be going into my The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE this week:

- Onions sets
- Shallots
- Lettuce - Black-Seeded Simpson
- Lettuce - Iceburg A
- Spinach - Bloomsdale Long-Standing
- Cabbage - Earliana

I also picked up some Beefmaster and Early Girl Tomato seeds that I'll be starting indoors.

I think I'll play Booker T's song "Green Onions" at the opening ceremony of my garden this year. So I'm giving everyone time to learn this dance.

Blogger's Choice Award. Who Wants To Nominate Me?

So if you click here - you can see the Blogger's Choice Awards. I was going to nominate yourself but I don't want to look like one of those people that tries to promote his blog.

..hahaha - not that YOU guys don't know that. I'm thinking about the potential future bloggers that might be reading my blog.

So does anyone want to nominate me? If you do, it'll say right there on the page that YOU were the person that nominated me. And you will hold a special place in my heart until the end time.

Rhode Island Song For Jesus. Peaches, Lobsters and Pencils.

So the Friday Send Off Song is dedicated to Jesus for pulling his magic. And we shall celebrate it this Easter. If it wasn't for Jesus we wouldn't have Cadbury Chocolate eggs. Now would we?

The song is called, "Rhode Island is Famous for You". Has anyone ever heard this song? It's very catchy. For the sinners that won't be visiting my blog until after Easter - have a good one. For those that will be checking out my blog this weekend - I bless thee.



209 followers strong.

Random Stuff Friday From Chester County Blogger. Nancy Grace.

And now some random thoughts from Chester County PA.

- I Love 30 Rock. It's a TV show.

- I watch the history channel all the time and I love learning about other cultures but whenever anything comes on about India I get bored and turn the channel. Is that wrong?

- I wish they had a 70's porno soundtrack that could be played at parties.

- My wife is obsessed with Twilight. I'm thinking about getting a vampire outfit.

- Michelle Obama is really starting to annoy me. What's the big deal?

- I don't know if Nancy Grace is married of not but could you imagine hearing that voice every night? Jesus Christ!

- If you haven't seen the Chris Issac show - check it out on the Bio Channel. He interviews rock stars. He's interviewing Cat Stevens tonight. I used to get it on in college with this one chick while listening to him. Great memories.

If I Go To Philly's House I'll Ask That This Allman Brothers Song Is Playing

So I just got invited to a pool party by long time reader Philly number one. I need to look at my busy, important schedule but if I do go, I'd like to be introduced with this song by the Allman Brothers. The Statesboro Blues.

It might get expensive for them because it's a really long song so I'll be walking down blocks and blocks to get to their pool. So the sound system will have to be set up along my route. Then, when I finally arrive I'll slowly walk to the top of the high dive that they'll have to install per my contract and I'll do a splash into the pool on the last note.

Go ahead. Find a private spot in your home, close your eyes and imagine that you're there. Are you imagining that it's a swim club and when I got out of the pool you warmed me with a towel over my shoulders then we went to the snack bar and got hotdogs, nachos and two cokes? Don't lie. That's what you're dreaming about.

Now snap out of it and go get your chores done.

Bali Bras Vs My Nipple Bra Invention. Don't Go Stealin'!

So I just saw this commercial for Bali Bras. Their line is, "for the ultimate modesty". They embroider a cute little flower patch on the inside of the bra in the nipple area so no nipple shows through. This is what I learned from the commercial.

Now as you know, I'm a nipple man.

And the Bali Bra goes totally against a bra invention I conceived about 12 years ago. It's a bra that gives you the support but has a cut out so your nipples show through. Thus making you more desirable and sexy.

I told a few gals at work about it and they all said it was a stupid idea. Something about the friction. Others said women don't want their nipples showing. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Because a few years ago there was a chick on the The Big Idea Show and she said she walked around Vegas with toothpaste caps on her nips as a joke and she go tons of attention and then made a bra to highlight this feature. Thief.

What do you think?

(And the post from Kimmie about our historic meeting can be read here).

Exton Howard Johnson Circa 1980. Throw Up Prank.

There used to be a Howard Johnson Restaurant in Exton PA years ago. My friend Jim was a dishwasher there in 9th grade. Here's the conversation we had one time:

Me: So how do you like working at HoJo's?

Jim: It sucks. I was working today and the manager said, "Someone threw up. Go clean it up". So It walk out there all pissed off and I saw it. I started to sweep some of it into the dustpan and it was of those rubber gag throw ups you get at Spencer's. I look up and this table of Seniors is looking and laughing at me. Fuckin' assholes.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Jim: You're an asshole.

Me: What??????

And now, enjoy this Howard Johnson clip:

Breaking News: West Chester Bloggers Meet At Barnaby's.

Another That Blue Yak meetup has happened! I've revealed myself to another human. Here's how it when down:

- I decided after a long day of being fabulous that I would stop in the Barnaby's in West Chester to wet my whistle with a Sam Adams. A reward if you will.

- I alert the world that I am in Barnaby's Pub and that bloggers are welcome to join me. I do this via Twitter. Kimmie, a local blogger that I've been wanting to meet for ages reads this on Twitter that is temporarily located on my blog and she signs up for Twitter.

- I take this as a code and send her an email telling her I'm still at Barnaby's.

- All of a sudden, who do I see walking in the bar? A petite, foxy blond woman - looking around. It's Kimmie. I say, "Kimmie, are you looking for me? I'm Dr Zibbs". (see staged reaction above)

And talk about a surreal 30 seconds. I've been commenting on her blog for a year and vice versa and we finally meet. She was exactly what I thought she'd be like. Super nice, really sweet and totally interesting to talk to. And even more beautiful in person. We talked about food, blogging, me. All the important stuff.

I actually blushed a bit at first as I was saying, "Yes, it's me - Dr Zibbs". And I was giggling like a school girl for a while too. Even I can feel humble. Me. Overall, a great meeting and we plan to keep in touch. What a great time meeting a fellow blogger. Who will be next? Maybe it will be you - or you (getting right in your face and whispering) or even YOU!

You'll have to check out her blog today because she said she will be telling you all about a day that I think might be one of the best of her life.

I'm just guessing.

And not to make Words, Words, Words jealous, but you were discussed. I wish you were there brother. We talked about the dish you made the other night that was based on her recipe.

Lets all Go To The Galapogos Islands With Alex Trebek!

Now I don't want to get everyone excited, but if I can change some things on my busy schedule, I'm going to be ...are you ready for this?......bringing 20 That Blue Yak readers on the trip to the Galapagos Islands that Alex Trebek from Jeopardy has been hawking all week!

And I'll be paying for everything. It's my way of saying thank you. But I will only take 20 of you. I'm thinking the first part of the trip we can really do some site seeing, check out some of Darwin's legacy and party our asses off but the second part of the trip will be strictly used for bothering Trebek.

We'll still be partying but we really need to focus on putting Trebek over the edge.

What can you add to the trip? Why should you be picked? Let me know in the comments section. I will pick 20 readers. The others will be allowed to meet us at the port but no amount of tears is going to change my mind and let you go on this historic, life altering trip that I'm sure will make it on Entertainment Tonight and all those other crappy shows. So you need to make sure you're OK watching us sail away while you go back to your boring - non Trebek harassing lives.

You will only have the memory of waving at me and the winners from a port in San Diego as we sail away.

But good luck anyway.

Patrick Swayze In RoadHouse. Seriously - Are You Kidding Me?

Yesterday at the BBQ that I went to I was able catch a half hour of the movie Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze.

Why didn't anybody tell me that Roadhouse was so great? And by great I mean so cheesy that I couldn't stop laughing. I wish they took photos of the pride in the faces of the people that were responsible for making that movie. If I had those photos I bet I could watch the movie, then glance at the photos and just laugh my ass off.

And do you see that part in the clip below where Patrick Swayze is shirtless and doing karate moves because he studied Eastern philosphy in college? I would give anything to have that Swayze character live next to me and do that crap in his yard because my new hobby would be to harass Swayze. I'd probably call it "operation harass Swayze" or something really creative like that. I'd probably hide in the brush making monkey sounds, shoot rocks at him using my wrist rocket - things like that. After I gained his trust of course. That's how I do it.

And his intensity reminds me of how much I can't stand people that are this intense and serious. Fine to be serious all the time but if you've got no quirkiness to you then I have no use for you. (looking away and shooshing with hand) Be on your way.

Girl Interupted Makes Me Happy. And Prunella DeVille. Blog Love.

I've got a very important announcement. I've got to tell you that I love blogging more than ever. And I love the people that reach out to me. Not all of them. Some will reach out and I'll pretend that I never got their emails. But then there are the super stars that have blogs that are so great and their comments are so funny that I really wish I could meet them in real life. One is an English blogger I've mentioned recently called Girl Interupted. In a recent post she wrote:

"Dr Zibbs of the infamous That Blue Yak ... because there's no denying it, he's quite simply "The Daddy" of all bloggers and no respectable blog-party would be seen dead without him in attendance ... plus he wouldn't want to miss all the pudding-wrestling "

What a wise gal. The link to the post is here. And I may steal the idea she did for this post because it's great and I was kind of thinking about doing a similar post anyway.

Then, you've got the blogger Prunella DeVille. Also hysterical but has a different style.

And do you know what? They're both beautiful! Funny and hot. Do you know how rare that is? It's the deadliest combination that I know of.

I just really love when bloggers reach out and say hi. Especially the super talents like these two.

And on a side note, there are many blogs that I read that aren't funny, they're just really interesting. Which is great too. It just so happens that these two are super interesting AND funny. If you don't go and bookmark their blogs now - you're crazy.

Shaun of the Dead Is On Right Now. Horror Movies

Quick! Change the channel to Comedy Central. Shaun of the Dead is on. It's almost over but maybe you can go to the video store and rent it later. It's a horror movie AND a comedy movie. And the kicker? Everyone talks with an English accent.

I saw it in the theater and it's pretty good.

Any good horror movies you can recommend? Another recent horror movie I love is The Hills Have Eyes.

Villanova, Georgetown and Chick with Nice Nipples.

So to my friend Flare that will surely be watching the Villanova Basketball game shortly - I send you this message: Thanks for all the great times when I came to see you at Georgetown especially the first time I was there and I hooked up with that chick with the nice nipples. And I realized that, "Hey, I can pick up smart girls too. I'm not a dummy."

I'm hoping Villanova wins but if they lose, I'm sure you'll be happy. To see a Villanova and Georgetown clip from back in the day, click here.

Windy. The Association. Market Street Grill And West Chester Haircut.

So I just got back from a tasty breakfast at The Market Street Grill in West Chester with my wife. Great breakfast if you're ever in the area. My wife just put a cap on and I said, "You're wearing that? I guess that fine but if we run into any bloggers just play along when I say you're my driver."

Now I'm going back into town to get my haircut at Van Ryn's Barber Shop. Another local business I support. And I'll be battling the 45 mph winds that are whipping around today. When I was in town early I was glad hat my hat my didn't blow off. Nothing worse then when your hat blows off and when you bend down to pick it up it blows away again.

And at what point do you say the hell with it? After four times probably. If people are looking - three.

Maybe after I get my haircut I'll run up to people on High Street in West Chester singing this Windy song by The Association. The Association? The Association of Gay Blades. Have you ever seen this video? And check out my main man on the guitar. I guess they were ground breakers though getting a dude from Guam to play in their band back in the 60's.

Singing The Go-Go's "We Got The Beat" In Wawa. Busted.

I'm not making this up. I was in a Wawa in Chaddsford PA yesterday and while I was taking a leak, the Go-Go's song "We Got The Beat" was on. So I was mouthing the song in an intentionally annoying way that I would do to a friend if he were there. As you know, I do this to amuse myself.

And I was thinking that it would be funny if I got caught doing this and it would be a good blog post. See. I'm thinking about you people during the day.

Well the music was so loud in the bathroom that I didn't even notice that in a split second some dude was standing next to me at the other urinal.

I washed my hands with my head down and got the hell out of there.

So on that note, "We've Got The Beat" is actually a pretty good running song. And I need to get my black underweared ass back running. So I dedicate The Friday Send Off Song to a long distance and long time reader Michelle. Check out her blog damn it!



203 Followers strong. But sadly, yesterday there were 204. Hopefully that person died and it wasn't a choice to stop following me.

Tongues, Arrows, Bigfoot and Other Random Stuff.

Here are some random thoughts.

1) I hate the new Geico commercial - the one where "someone's watching you".

2) My feet are so big that when I have to cut my toenails I need to soak them in the tub first because they're hard like tortoise shells.

3) Family Highlights Magazine always made me sick. Especially that wooden family.

4) I need to buy some more underwear. This time, I'm only buying black briefs.

5) I hope my dog lives for a long time. He's 10 now and he's really starting to look old.

6) I'd love to have a goat for a pet if I didn't have to take care for it and it didn't smell.

7) When I was about 17 my mom told me that my tongue was connected to the bottom of my mouth when I was born so it had to be snipped. You would never know by looking at me but it still makes me wonder if I'm technically a freak.

8) I haven't shot a bow and arrow since I was younger but I'd love to take it up again someday.

9) My doctor is holding me ransom by not giving me my adderal until I get a physical. Is that ethical? Or even legal?

10) At least 10 people have said to me in the last year, "Wow, you're really getting grey." It doesn't bother me but isn't that like telling a chick her ass is getting fat?

11) When I was a kid, I was really into the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot and all that stuff.

12) I've been thinking a lot lately about how my son will be going to college in two years. And I can't imagine what it will be like without him here all the time.

Tenacious D and Special Thing With Lee

As you know, I'm the ultimate Tenacious D fan. Here's Tenacious D doing "Special Thing" when they were singing with their new friend Lee.

It's before Jack Black was famous you know. Brilliant.

So what do you think? I've seen this video at least 500 times.



Any other fans out there?

Buddy Ebson Art I Saw In Long Beach Was Terrible.

Did you know Buddy Ebsen (aka Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies) was born on this day? It's true. And thinking about him just takes me back to a very special day in my life.

It was a few years ago and I was at a gift show for work in Long Beach California. As I turned the corner of the trade show - there it was. His crappy, crappy art.

I remember stopping in my tracks. Then seeing that Buddy Ebsen was the artist I was a bit shocked. What. The. Hell? Then I did one of those single exhale laughs. I looked to the left then right with a smile wondering if anyone else was seeing this too.

The woman working the booth approached me, "I bet you know Buddy Ebsen from the Beverly Hillbillies but did you know he's also an accomplished folk artist?"

You've got to be kidding.

The other great thing about the trade show was that they had some of the real munchkins from the Wizard of Oz there dressed in their outfits. The mayor had to be escorted to the bathroom because he was like 90 years old. It was kind of sad.

What stories would you like to share about seeing someones art (including acting, music and dancing) that was so bad that you had to laugh while they stood there proudly waiting for your approval?

Sham Wow and the Cock Shot. Hysterical Video.

The blogger Skyler's Dad is the best at finding the most hysterical videos.

To see one that will make you fall off your chair laughing, check out the spoof of the Sham Wow It's called the Cock Shot. To view it, click here.

Bulls on Valley Creek Road In PA, Foxy English Blogger And Other Stuff.

Just a few various things:

- The picture above shows two bulls. I took the picture on Valley Creek Road near West Chester. I made it black and white to show you how artsy I can be. I wonder what those bulls are thinking about? I took this picture recently when I was with my son. We called to the bulls to approach us but they just looked at us.

- You think I'm an important blogger because I have 204 followers? Well look at Vodka Mom with 674 followers as of this moment. And she's so great that she gave little ole' me not only a shout out but a huge temporary picture and link on her side bar. I guess I AM more important than I thought. AND she claims to give BJ's on her porch!

- I like Twitter better than I thought because I can just write random thoughts. Look on my sidebar at some of the crazy things I wrote so far. I wonder what I'm going to come up with next. Click "follow me on Twitter" if you dare. As a reminder these gems will soon be available only through Twitter and not visible on my blog.

- One of the blogs I've been reading lately is called A World So Small by Girl Interupted. Talk about a great sense of humour (note UK spelling)! She's hysterical! She's Dr Zibbs endorsed! I'd love to meet her. I'd like to kiss her on the lips.

- I'd like to also thank Jeannie for all of her recent comments. And also Shawn. Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate the comments from all of you bloggers.

Except for that one person.