Thursday, September 18, 2008

Dewey the Cat Stupid - We Want more Oscar


USAToday has a story today about Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched The World. Are you kidding? If any of my readers are planning to read this book, you are no longer invited to my blog. In fact, I vow to my Jesus that whenever I see someone reading this book, I will rip it out of their hands ala' Greg Brady and say, "Watcha readin'?" I'll then heave the book into a tree or nearby stream.

Anyway, the REAL story in the article is the sub story on page 2D about Oscar the cat. It seems Oscar the cat, a resident of the Steere House Nursing Center in Providence has the ability to tell when residents are about to die. He's actually is able to identify who is going to die, then he hangs out on their bed until they die. Now that's creepy AND interesting.

I'm now announcing a contest. I'm asking readers to submit Youtube videos of an Oscar look-alike cat scaring the hell out of old people. Use your imagination:

- Start by leaving articles about Oscar - in large print and highlighted - around the elderly - so they're familiar about the nightmare that is coming their way.
- Train the cat to look at someone, then away, then look at them again.
- Try to convince some of the seniors to get Oscar to go to someone else's bed so the other person dies instead of them. Suggest that they might want to place boxes of mice under someone else's bed to lure the killer cat there. You know, play them against one another.
- Consider entrapping a really crabby old person as nothing is funnier than an old crab screaming in horror.

Please submit videos to Youtube with tags: That Blue Yak, Contest, Oscar that cat

The winner, if willing to meet me in West Chester, Pa - will be treated to a lunch WITH ME at Buddy's Burgers on Gay Street. Contest ends Oct 1.

Good Luck.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm willing if I can exchange the real cat for a cat hand puppet so I can have the puppet rub it's front paws together whispering "It's time, it is time.

Dr Zibbs said...

Anon - that's acceptable. As a matter of fact, anything submitted that mentions a cat, Oscar, death and scared old people is elegible.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Is this contest like the Seth McFarlane one, where you win lunch with him, but you have to pay for the lunch?

Cause, if so, Dr. Zibbs, then this is no contest I want to win...

Dr Zibbs said...

MJenks - I will pay for the lunch which will consist of a double burger all the toppings you wish and a beverage. Ladies will get the same but if they look clean and I'm not super hungry I will share my fries with them. And of course, you must provide your own transporation. If the winning video is REALLY good, and the person is within 100 miles, I may send a car for them. Good luck.

Kimmie said...

This sounds like too much work for a burger. Can't I just have the burger? I've been wanting to try that place.

BeckEye said...

That Oscar sounds like a real bastard. And people always wrinkle up their noses at me when I say that cats are evil and can't be trusted. Mmm hmm. Well, who's laughing now?

Er, I guess I should say who's wrinkling their nose now, since I never mentioned any laughter.

teri said...

The burger places sells breasts? interesting.

Falwless said...

You're gonna get thousands of entries.

CDP said...

Let us know if Barack Obama enters. Or Sarah Palin.

Whiskeymarie said...

I didn't want to read that book until you said I couldn't. Now, my curiosity is killing me.

If I win, will you just mail my burger to me? I'm kind of busy these days.

H said...

Fuck that, I want my own fries.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Can the film be a cartoon short?

Dr Zibbs said...

Falwless - I know, I'm taking on more seasonal staff to handle the extra load (that's what she said)
Kimmie - we'll have to do burgers some time (Best in the area).
WM - If you win, I'll mail you a picture of me eating the burger.
MJenks - can me a cartoon short.

Chris said...

I can't wait to see the results. I loved the idea about the cat rubbing his paws together. Brilliant!

GETkristiLOVE said...

I haven't been to West Chester since I lived in State College and went home with my roommate for Christmas... or was it Thanksgiving?

Mo said...

Are. You. Kidding.
The cover of that garbage Dewey book sorta makes me want to punch babies.

What a waste of paper.

kirby said...

Here's my virtual video: Toonces drives up in a big, black hearse.

Dr Zibbs said...

Mo - you stilll got it. Good one.

enc said...

I haven't got access to a cat.

Falwless said...

enc--You can borrow mine. For a nominal fee.

Anonymous said...

assholes