Tuesday, September 9, 2008

West Chester Blogger Invents Cool, Creepy Gift

My good blog friend Gwen had a great post the other day about the Hug Me Pillow that's offered at Overstock.com. It's a creepy half torso pillow that the ladies can snuggle up to when their man it out of town - (I hear it's also used by the fatties and butterfaces that can't bag a man so they have to settle for a freakish, soon to be tear soaked pillow). Some love is better than none I guess. But who am I to judge?


Anyways, I hate to say, "Whoops -I did it again." - but dagnabit I did. One day I'm inventing Words, Voice Motions - a popular game that's about to be in stores. And the next, I'm making up a song (100% by myself) called "Bubble Up" and the phrase "Bubble Up" is sweeping the nation too. But instead of the phrase coming from the ghetto and movie Up the chain, like, "Hi Holmes? How are you today?" OR "I think I'd prefer to get Jiggy with that thing", my Bubble Up expression has started in my multi-million dollar That Blue Yak headquarters and is moving DOWN the chain. Go figure!

Well, here it is. I unveil to you - "the limited edition, extra fingered Indian dude's hand Hug-A-Lot Pillow". It's pretty much like the Hug Me Pillow but with the added bonus of an Indian dude's hand that has an extra finger on it. I'm also thinking about perfuming the hand with that cologne that Indian people use. So it's authentic and all.

The name is a bit wordy so I'm going to give my readers the opportunity to name the product. Please free to suggest tag lines as well. The winner will receive a Zagnut bar.

26 comments:

Grant Miller said...

Those aren't real pictures are they? That's creepy.

Dr Zibbs said...

The added hand with finger is real and was added to the original product pictures. I know..what CAN'T I do?

M in SF said...

Wow. I'm totally ordering one for my next sleep over party!! The girls will love it!

One can snuggle and one can use the extra little goody to stroke their clit.

The versatile, welcoming, all inclusive threesome.

Genius

M in SF said...

Ok. Ok.

Maybe more like a 2.34-some.

Falwless said...

Christmas shopping is going to be a breeze this year.

You've indeed done it again, Zibby. Indeed.

Bubble up.

Falwless said...

Oh, and as for naming that thing, I think we should call it The Dr Zibbs Arm Of Hope (plus free bonus finger!).

Okay, okay, I'll work some more on it.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Well, since you're looking for something short and catchy... how about "The Hindinky" (as in Hindu + Pinky, minus the P)? I bet the dot-com on that could still be available.

Gwen said...

This one's a bit unwieldy but I just know you'll fix it if you want . . . how about Supernumery Sacchidananda? See, supernumery means "extra" like the extra finger but also puts "extra" in front of Sacchidananda which means total bliss . . . perfect for a pillow that brings extra total bliss.

We could shorten it to SuperSac.

Gwen said...

Oh, I forgot. The name Sacchidananda is Indian. Snap.

poobomber said...

Hahaha jesus I'm laughing hard here, hahahah

The Guv'ner said...

My nominations for a name:

Papa Half Corpse
Herr Handy
The Euro Snuggler
Mr. Greedy Finger
Sanjay

OK I suck at names almost as much as captions. It also needs an authentic sweat ring under the armpit.

poobomber said...

Hahah I was laughing too hard and missed that we're supposed to come up with a product name for it. Here's my submission:

**************
Raj Append-aj!
Never Again A Lonely Night For YOU!

To be available in many many of three colors!

Please when ordering to specify quantity of fingers for Raj to be having.
**************

poobomber said...

Or

Sandeep - Hold While Sleep!
He will awaken the inner kama sutra person who is inside of you!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm not going to try and name this marvel of modern invention, but I do suggest you include a disclaimer, something along the lines of "Does not protect from vengeful rapier attacks by Inigo Montoya." Your legal team will thank me.

Dr Zibbs said...

Poobomber - well done

M@ said...

So it IS true!

Chris said...

That gives "I got the 7 digits" a whole new meaning, don't it?

enc said...

Before I expend any energy on this, I want to know how old that Zagnut bar is.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

You need to call that thing Calcutta Fingers. It's a pun, see? Yeah, I knew you'd like it.

BeckEye said...

I want one!

Sandeep...that's awesome.

How about Brad Pit (with one "t")?
Tagline: Six fingers work just as well as six inches.

S t a c i said...

From the Overstock comments - "doesn't talk back or snore."

Can you guarantee that your product is of equal quality?

Dr Zibbs said...

Enc - Zagnut is very old but does it really matter? It's a Zagnut.
Staci - It's of equal quality plus one.

Falwless said...

You know what I like best of all? That the lady holding this monstrosity is actually MISSING HER PINKY FINGER. (Nice photoshopping.) So, it all, like, evens out.

Gifted Typist said...

Arm-her-all

Micgar said...

I like gifted typist's suggestion-arm her all!

Leonesse said...

Does it come in Black Man with Extra Large Digits?