Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Some Tweets I Wrote On Twitter. Dr Zibbs. Father Kelly.




Here's another lazy post for you - some recent Tweets from Twitter. (Note that the # is a "hashmark" and it is used when someone else started a topic and then other people tweeting can use it and add onto it)

If you want to follow me on Twitter my name is @DrZibbs. So here we go:

Haha. Just saw another clip from the comedy Precious.The mom's like, "You ain't worth nuthin'" I can't do the voice. You just gotta see it.

Elton John (watching Rod Stewart on Dancing w/the Stars): Oh my God! What a pussy!

OH MY GOD! There's this dude that looks JUST like Chastity Bono but.(listens to the idiots from The Insider) uh nevermind.

Blair from the "very special episode" of Facts of Life when she got bukakeed. #badhalloweencostumes (what? it's a lost episode?)

Just a reminder: If you're one of those freaks that gives popcorn for Halloween make sure to make it soon so it gets nice and stale.

heiny hole

how do guys holding those liquidation signs on the corner afford cell phones?

tip for foreigners:don't boast...i am the hairiest! i am hairier than a great ape

The International House of Almost Expired (but still legal to sell except in Nebraska) Meats #badrestaurantnames

wonder if there's a support group for people that have had tramatic life altering incidences w explosive diarrhea.

///////////////////////////// PART 2 ///////////////////////////////////

And here are some Tweets from my Father Kelly character. As of this post he has 4076 followers. The concept of @FatherKelly is a disgruntled Catholic priest.

Thinking about starting a combination fat camp and bible camp. Will name it either Porky Lil' Angels or Chubby Rollers.

Whenever I hear the "it was then that I carried you" part of Footprints in the Sand I picture Jesus as a huge Frankenstein

For Halloween I'm leaving out a basket filled w/ mass cards and a "Take ONE only" sign. Imagine the disappointment.

A bingo player suggested we change the name from "Bingo" to "Jesus". Ohhhh brother! I need a break from these nerds.

I just invented a new product: The ShamWow of Turin. I wonder if I can get the Pope to endorse it?

Fun Fact: Holy Water loses 80% of it's holyness when microwaved for more than 2 minutes

I bet Purgatory is like the waiting area of a Jiffy Lube but with a slightly better magazine selection.

The End (of this post).

17 comments:

Mr. Condescending said...

Fatherkelly is hilarious, the mass cards one is the best!

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Mr C. Maybe I need to get more cynical in my DrZibbs tweets.

Trooper Thorn said...

80's TV shows had lots of "very special episodes". Why don't TV shows today?

Not The Rockefellers said...

Me too with the "Footprints In The Sand" except it's that scene in "Planet Of The Apes"

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Peace~Rene

madtexter (corey james) said...

Wow! That was like a sweet tweet rush injected directly into my jugular vein. Always great laughs from you!

Gwen said...

Bubble up.

Scope said...

No. There isn't a support group for people that have had tramatic life altering incidences with explosive diarrhea.

Thanks for rubbing it in.

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope - your comments have been cracking me up.

Son of a Thomas said...

Father Kelly is truly funny. I am so off Twitter though.

Dr Zibbs said...

Son of a T- Thanks. It's not that hard writing one funny sentence a day.

As for being off of Twitter, a lot of people are leaving. If I didn't have internet on my phone I think I'd leave it too.

Dr Zibbs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caffeine Court said...

I called in sick to work once and told my boss I had explosive diarrhea. She was so shocked and appalled that she didn't ask any more questions. EVER.

JenJen said...

God Damn I remember that episode...
Good shtuff, as usual, Doc.

Dominica said...

Always fun to read them again ! Some of 'em are even funnier the second time ; I do agree with Mr C., the 'mass card' was a highlight in the twitcareer of Father K.

(twitcareer = somehow that sounds ambiguous)

Dr Zibbs said...

Caffeine Court - I'll have to try that some time.

Tony Alva said...

I tried to hold it back after the Mass card halloween, but the "ShamWow of Turin" has me chuckling out loud in my cube and co-workers asking me what's so funny.

You sir are a mad man!

Dr Zibbs said...

*bowing*

Thank you Tony Alva. Thank you.