Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Stupid Future. Pong, Robots and Better Blackberries.

What does the future hold? When I was 5th grade, I would have been amazed if someone said, "Pretty soon"....

- You will be able to heat meals in minutes (the microwave)
- You will be able to watch TV, but you'll be playing a game on TV and YOU will be controlling it! (Pong*/video games)
- Instead of waiting to see an edited movie on the ABC movie of the week, you'll be able rent a tape of the movie and watch it at home (and see Jacqueline Bisset's nipples on The Deep!. Through a t-shirt of course)
And now, unless you're a hillbilly, all this stuff seems normal.

But what about the new future? Do any of you tech nerds know which year I can expect this stuff?

- I want to see any clip of any movie or TV show by simply searching for it by key phrase then see it on my TV. Right away. Like the dance contest with the Fonz? ..Right here..in 2 seconds.
- I want voice activation that's state of the art so I can Tweet and write posts to my famous blog while strolling down the lane.
- I want super speedy Internet access on my blackberry. Come to think of it, I want to have my blackberry working in my home all the time. What up with that stupid Verizon?
- I want a lawn mower that cuts by itself (not the crappy one that they show on TV).
- I want a robot dog or bird. And it has to call me Master.

When will these things be a reality? It's really not asking too much. Is it?

*and Ms Pacman. I was the master. That's right Flare..get back to work. And I also made up Miss White America Pageant. I know you're reading my blog everyday because I see you showing up on my Google analytics. P.S. Can you ask Julie if she needs a side dish for Christmas?


Dr Zibbs said...

Look at that Pong machine in the picture. Man that is so Space Age.

Moooooog35 said...

I want an interactive hologram of Jessica Alba.

Wake me up from my cryo-sleep when that's available.

Thanks in advance.

Kristen said...

Years ago the husband and I agreed that you should be able to select a year from the past and get to immediately watch a whole evening of prime tv - with commercials - from said year. ie love boat, fantasy island, AND those palmolive commercials you made fun of awhile back. We don't know why this hasn't been invented yet.

SkylersDad said...

I am still waiting on my flying car or jetpack I was promised by Popular Science way back when!

Dr Zibbs said...

Kristen, that would be great. I love looking through old TV Guides.

SkylersDad, a little known fact about jetpacks is that there have only been about 6 people that have ever flown them.

Lostinspace said...

When my dad brought home this new VCR thing that he paid a fortune for, the first thing I did when my parents went away was rent a porn movie. Me, I've always wanted a time machine.

Dr Zibbs said...

LostInSpace - You've got to write a post about renting that movie. Was it one of the video stores where all the porn was being a curtain?

JenJen said...

"...strolling down a lane."


Who the f*ck strolls? DOWN A LANE?

This will never happen.

word ver: wikedic kinda like wikipedia only allows you to search for a dick. Awesome.

JenJen said...

so there.

Dr Zibbs said...

JenJen - So what I'm getting from this is that you want to stroll down the lane with me?

Yeah, that's what it means.

JenJen said...

Damn, you ARE good at this as I'm pretty sure my hologram loves to stroll. Down lanes. In a picturesque town.

Dr Zibbs said...

JenJen - ...and I think I'm blaming you that I had a weird dream about the Queen Mother last night. For real. I was in church (I never go there) and I was fighting with her. She was in the back row and I was trying to annoy her by moving to block her vision.

JenJen said...

Have mercy I don't think that was my fault, since you totally had the connection with your aunt and all. I'm not gonna brag, but....

PS. You're too much!

Son of a Thomas said...

A lawnmower that cuts by itself is called a goat.

Dr Zibbs said...

Son of a T - Can you hide in the brush and throw your voice so it looks like it's saying, "Master" to me?

You will??? Thanks friend.

Stupid Future said...

Awesome old pong flyer! The future *is* stupid, check it out: