So there is a Twitter Tweet-Up tonight in West Chester at Barnabys. 5:30 until whenever.
Can you imagine the excitement of the attendees? Because they get to meet me? I wonder if they even slept last night. Do you think? Probably not. Here are a few guidelines that I'll be printing on flyers for my adoring fans. Take a few minutes to memorize them before entering the lair* that I'm sure is being built for me as we speak:
- Always remember, when in conversation with me, I like to dictate the tone and pace.
- When listening to one of my hilarious tales, you may think of something that YOU want to add. That is fine. If time allows. (You may want to jot a quick note so you don't forget what your "interesting" story is). If you think the story isn't that interesting, rehearse it with a friend or member of the clergy in the bathroom. Ask them to be honest with you as to whether they think it's something I would want to listen to.
- On first approach, don't look me directly in the eye.
- If you have a gift to present to me, make sure to flaunt it to the others before giving it to me. It will give them a chance to run out and get me a gift so they don't look like a fools.
-Please, no photography. As I've stated before, I will allow charcoal sketches of me and construction paper art as long as the glitter is used at a minimum. There will be scales available for the weight of your glitter. I think it's two ounces. Ask one of my handlers if you don't know how to weigh things. They'll be happy to help.
- But most of all, enjoy yourself.
And speaking of meeting strangers that you only have talked to online, here's a post detailing the account of when I met a few West Chester bloggers. Maybe you know them? To read the story of that classic night last year, click here.
*I hope it has a Roman feel with a dash of 1976. And if I see one piece of tape holding up the streamers I'm out of there. Remember, nothing tacky!