Do any of you wonder if you may be retarded? Open your cabinet. Did you purchase the Egg Genie?
Well, you better sit down because I've got something to tell you. Are you ready. You my friend are retarded.
You have to be. I saw the commercial yesterday and the Egg Genie* is the most useless kitchen gadget since the microwave bacon cooker. It claims to cook eggs perfectly. Do you know how I cook eggs perfectly? I use a timer.
I'd like to interview the people that watch this commercial then are convinced that they not only need this but that after a few months they'll actually still be using it.
And one more thing. Who the hell uses soft boiled eggs for Eggs Benedict? Retarded people you say? Case closed.
If you want to see the commercial and featuring the soft boiled Eggs Benedict click here.
*and could you imagine if you received the Egg Genie as a gift? I'd love to see the anticipation on the faces of the people that gave you the gift as they sit there in anticipation, thinking that you're going to open it and be all excited. And they're waiting to yell, "..and it's great for making soft boiled eggs for Eggs Benedict. It's right there on the side of the box!" Then they look around proudly see if anyone else at the party is looking at them and thinking, "Great. Let's pretend you're sick so we can leave. We're going to look like fools when our gift is opened and they see that we only gave them cash. Stupid, non-egg steaming cash".