Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The time I Bought Lunch In First Grade. Wayne PA.

As you know from this post, I was a lunch bringer. Not a buyer. Until that fateful day in first grade that my Mom let me buy. I remember looking at the lunch schedule and narrowing it down to either pizza day or hot dog day. I forget which it was because the trauma of what happens next erased the memory.

I walked up the line with my tray. Making sure it was completely straight. I had studied the ways of the buyers for a few weeks since I was nervous doing something different.

I was really shy you may recall.

I made sure my exact change was on the tray as I approached so I wouldn't look like a bumbling amateur when it was my turn to pay. "Here you go my hair netted, mustacheoed lady. Thank you kindly for the preparation of this meal. Here is your exact currency."

I paid and proudly - but slowly and carefully - walked to my seat. Like a peacock. Everyone was probably watching. "Yeah. I'm a big boy. I bought."

There were no seats next to any fellow buyers so I had to settle next to some lowly lunch bringers. "Hmmm. What did your mom pack? Nice bag. Let me just settle in and eat my professional meal here. OK. There we go...Mmm. *looks around and nods* This is pretty good." *looks to the other side* "I like how the trays have different sections. Did you notice that? I wonder if other schools have trays like this?"

After finishing my historic meal I proudly made my way to the playground. Like a big shot. But there was one probelem. In my excitement I forgot that it was my turn to do the final wipe down of my lunch table after everyone left. It was kind of a big deal. One kid was picked every day from their class and was supposed to ask a helper. Something about teaching us about responsibility.

So I'm out at recess and I see a teacher saying, "Jimmy Zibbs...Jimmy Zibbs!"

I looked around thinking, "Is there ANOTHER Jimmy Zibbs?"

"Jimmy Zibbs! Come here! You forgot to clean yoru class table."

*Intermitten zoom in to my face as music from Phycho plays. My eyes like deer in the headlights*

I let out a confused, "Me???"

I walked back inside. In my excitement over buying I forgot to clean the table. And I was super shy and never got in trouble so I was really nervous walking back in. Just the idea of being yelled at had me practically shaking.

I walked in and the janitors had already folded most of the tables up. Tables fold?? Then I was given a damp rag and I wiped up the table. In shame. As the teacher watched me.

The End.

Note: That is not my class picture.


The Jules said...

I take sadnwiches, which always embarrasses my wife when we go to restaurants.

Dr Zibbs said...


diane said...

School was traumatic for me in more ways than one, and haunts me to this day. See the kid in the front row with the tie? I cut my hair like his......last night. I need help. yup.
I wasn't shy, like you. I loved everybody, and they tortured me. So now I go to every single high school reunion, get a little plastered, and torture everyone all night long. It doesn't stop there. I make "friends" with them on facebook and torture them on a daily level too. Ahhhhh, life has it's rewards after all.

sybil law said...

I think you might be my baby daddy.
Seriously -my kid is such a nervous Nellie. That would've completely freaked her out, too.

(Okay, I know who the father of my kid is - my husband. Duh.)

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - Bully ass bully.I bet they deserve it.

Sybil - Don't forget my father's day present!

Scope said...

I think they have child labor laws now to stop that sort of thing. If only they'd been enacted sooner.

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope - I'm going to call my congressman now and thank him.

Kristen said...

This brought to surface the memory of sponges soaking in some chemically smelling water in a plastic bucket that probably once held lard. The sponges were all yellow and seemed really big, but maybe it was just that our hands were small. Sponging off the table was kind of a big deal at my school.

TC said...

oh man, I lived for Sloppy Joe day at my school. LIVED for it.

Dr Zibbs said...

TC - probably the only school food that tasted better at home.