Reading Twitter can sure get tiring. With all that actual reading. Someone need to invent a Twitter app that works like this:
- I send a tweet.
- The tweet is converted from text to my voice.
- As a follower of mine, the technology actually turns the volume up on you phone and "yells" the important tweet that I wrote. This way, everybody gets to hear it. Not just you.
So you'd be in the grocery store and all of a sudden you would hear: "Oh my god! A bird had sex w my aunt and its spawn is singing on jay Leno. Nevermind. Its just manilow".
or - "I wonder if a midget ever got a custom snuggie as a gift and said: wait a minute..you just cut up a wash cloth didn't you?"
or maybe even: "I bet some guy was asked by his wife to pick up staples before a storm and the dumbass came home w actual staples"
Here are a few more to enjoy:
"I wonder if that really tall guy from the show CPO Sharkey was Ed Begley Jr's mutant Frankenstein twin".
"Product idea: Circus Freak Peanuts. (Oooh! I got an orange bearded lady. I can't wait to enjoy it's cardboardy goodness)."
"Ooh. What's that movie the lovely bones about? A nice skeleton family or something?.."
"Mayor McCheese was based off of a real person with a real oversized, hamburger shaped head deformity #ItsFuckinTrue "
"Product idea: scale that has pics of celebs that are your weight each number"
"Tip for foreigners: to a lady don't say, your hair reminds me of the finest quality dry hay in the land "
That's all I got for you today.