West Chester Blogger Invents Cool, Creepy Gift
My good blog friend Gwen had a great post the other day about the Hug Me Pillow that's offered at Overstock.com. It's a creepy half torso pillow that the ladies can snuggle up to when their man it out of town - (I hear it's also used by the fatties and butterfaces that can't bag a man so they have to settle for a freakish, soon to be tear soaked pillow). Some love is better than none I guess. But who am I to judge?
Anyways, I hate to say, "Whoops -I did it again." - but dagnabit I did. One day I'm inventing Words, Voice Motions - a popular game that's about to be in stores. And the next, I'm making up a song (100% by myself) called "Bubble Up" and the phrase "Bubble Up" is sweeping the nation too. But instead of the phrase coming from the ghetto and movie Up the chain, like, "Hi Holmes? How are you today?" OR "I think I'd prefer to get Jiggy with that thing", my Bubble Up expression has started in my multi-million dollar That Blue Yak headquarters and is moving DOWN the chain. Go figure!
Well, here it is. I unveil to you - "the limited edition, extra fingered Indian dude's hand Hug-A-Lot Pillow". It's pretty much like the Hug Me Pillow but with the added bonus of an Indian dude's hand that has an extra finger on it. I'm also thinking about perfuming the hand with that cologne that Indian people use. So it's authentic and all.
The name is a bit wordy so I'm going to give my readers the opportunity to name the product. Please free to suggest tag lines as well. The winner will receive a Zagnut bar.
26 comments:
Those aren't real pictures are they? That's creepy.
The added hand with finger is real and was added to the original product pictures. I know..what CAN'T I do?
Wow. I'm totally ordering one for my next sleep over party!! The girls will love it!
One can snuggle and one can use the extra little goody to stroke their clit.
The versatile, welcoming, all inclusive threesome.
Genius
Ok. Ok.
Maybe more like a 2.34-some.
Christmas shopping is going to be a breeze this year.
You've indeed done it again, Zibby. Indeed.
Bubble up.
Oh, and as for naming that thing, I think we should call it The Dr Zibbs Arm Of Hope (plus free bonus finger!).
Okay, okay, I'll work some more on it.
Well, since you're looking for something short and catchy... how about "The Hindinky" (as in Hindu + Pinky, minus the P)? I bet the dot-com on that could still be available.
This one's a bit unwieldy but I just know you'll fix it if you want . . . how about Supernumery Sacchidananda? See, supernumery means "extra" like the extra finger but also puts "extra" in front of Sacchidananda which means total bliss . . . perfect for a pillow that brings extra total bliss.
We could shorten it to SuperSac.
Oh, I forgot. The name Sacchidananda is Indian. Snap.
Hahaha jesus I'm laughing hard here, hahahah
My nominations for a name:
Papa Half Corpse
Herr Handy
The Euro Snuggler
Mr. Greedy Finger
Sanjay
OK I suck at names almost as much as captions. It also needs an authentic sweat ring under the armpit.
Hahah I was laughing too hard and missed that we're supposed to come up with a product name for it. Here's my submission:
**************
Raj Append-aj!
Never Again A Lonely Night For YOU!
To be available in many many of three colors!
Please when ordering to specify quantity of fingers for Raj to be having.
**************
Or
Sandeep - Hold While Sleep!
He will awaken the inner kama sutra person who is inside of you!
I'm not going to try and name this marvel of modern invention, but I do suggest you include a disclaimer, something along the lines of "Does not protect from vengeful rapier attacks by Inigo Montoya." Your legal team will thank me.
Poobomber - well done
So it IS true!
That gives "I got the 7 digits" a whole new meaning, don't it?
Before I expend any energy on this, I want to know how old that Zagnut bar is.
You need to call that thing Calcutta Fingers. It's a pun, see? Yeah, I knew you'd like it.
I want one!
Sandeep...that's awesome.
How about Brad Pit (with one "t")?
Tagline: Six fingers work just as well as six inches.
From the Overstock comments - "doesn't talk back or snore."
Can you guarantee that your product is of equal quality?
Enc - Zagnut is very old but does it really matter? It's a Zagnut.
Staci - It's of equal quality plus one.
You know what I like best of all? That the lady holding this monstrosity is actually MISSING HER PINKY FINGER. (Nice photoshopping.) So, it all, like, evens out.
Arm-her-all
I like gifted typist's suggestion-arm her all!
Does it come in Black Man with Extra Large Digits?
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