Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Mini Apes, Glazed Donuts, Nether Regions and Tweets.




So here are a few recent Tweets that I wrote for Twitter. Man. This blogging is getting easier and easier. All I had to do was cut and paste the info from Twitter to here.

I might have some of my best tweets embroidered onto pillows. Just so it's not too gay I'll man things up by filling the pillows with rocks

I cringe when I hear people telling fat girls"You have such a pretty face". I prefer "You're like a fire plug with a cute little cap"

if i ever get an ostrich w rabies I'll call him pecky. then when he attacks people I'll be like..i warned you

I wish I had a friend that looked like a mini ape AND had a sense of humor so I when I saw people I could say, "Hey. Look at my mini ape!"

You may find the question, "How about I make your face look like a glazed donut?" funny but your wife will just shake her head.

wonders if a movie about a woman who blogs about trying every house cleaning technique from a cleaning book would inspire wives 2 clean

rap title: if i look down and don't see a legion I'll be touchin your nether region.

wow. when i sing in that Jim nabors style i sound pretty good.

I'm gonna name my next dog help. how great will it be when I'm calling him and everyone thinks I'm in danger?

Which is YOUR favorite. Mine is the one about the mini ape.

25 comments:

Jennifer and Sandi said...

LOL "Help" good one....Don't bring him to the ocean!


- Jennifer

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Jennifer. I should trademark that name.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Hmmmmm, not sure about the donut tweet. I mean, I like donuts in all...

Lostinspace said...

Dog named "Help", yes I like that.
I once had neighbors that named their cat, "Fucking Cat". At night I would hear them calling, "Fucking Caaat".

Dr Zibbs said...

LostinSpace - I had a friend in college that named his cat Sphincter but when girls came over he made everyone call it Pete.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

"I might have some of my best tweets embroidered onto pillows. Just so it's not too gay I'll man things up by filling the pillows with rocks"

I remember reading this at work and I laughed out loud for real... might have spit water out my nose!

Now I'm off to follow your favorite tweeter Father-something-or-other

You made top commenter on my blog today... Your.Welcome.

Gage said...

rock pillows tickles my fancy.

SkylersDad said...

Looking forward to your new line of pillows available soon!

Prunella Jones said...

Help is pretty dang funny, but I think it would be more amusing if you named him Rape.

Dr Zibbs said...

Prunella - yeah Rape would be good too.

Prunella Jones said...

Don't name him Fire tho. People get kinda mad when you yell that out, especially in a crowded theater.

diane said...

Fat girls hate it when you tell them that they have a pretty face. It's just as bad a staring.
I was going to comment on help, but Pru's comment defies gravity.

westchesterdead said...

That rap title is pretty funny - but only because I hate rap.

LiLu said...

That first one is so Chuck Norris. Love.

Son of a Thomas said...

You are incrediblly strange.

"when i sing in that Jim Nabors style i sound pretty good."

Jim Nabors didn't so how is that possible?

Dr Zibbs said...

Son of a - I'M strange? You're discovering this now?

Dominica said...

I didn't get the 1 about the pillows !
Must have been during my 'i have been hacked' period ...
The one about the glazed donut cracked me up (again) !!

moooooog35 said...

I say 'Hey! Look at my mini ape!' all the time.

Typically, in the men's room at the urinals.

I'm not popular.

Doc said...

I've got to go with "pecky". An attack bird would be cool!

Doc

Anonymous said...

I will be at a drinking establishment this evening on High Street, in WC.....just thought you would like to know.

#1

Dr Zibbs said...

So Anonymous where exactly would that place be?

Philly said...

Doc, anonymous was moi, #1. Went to Barnaby's on High street last evening. Was nice , had a private room. Lovely little town.

#1

Dr Zibbs said...

Philly you were in WC? I would have come out to have a drink with you. Your loss.

and mine

Former Fat Chick said...

when I was HUGE and people would start: You have such a pretty face..I would INTERJECT right there and say THANK YOU! I appretiate that. Who the fuck would think it is ok to point out your fat, really? like you don't know? Would you go to a bald guy, you are so good looking, too bad you have no HAIR

Dr Zibbs said...

Former Fat - I say that to baldies all the time. Is something wrong with that?