Sunday, December 14, 2008

Oh The Irony. Why Am I So Unhandy?


So last night by daughter locked herself in her room. After getting the doorknob off, the metal piece that goes into the side of the door still wouldn't come out. I went online to look up "how a doorknob works". I used various screwdrivers, knives, bent credit cards. Nothing worked.

An hour and a half into the ordeal I climbed out my bedroom window and into my daughter's room - breaking the blinds as I climbed into her room. I brought her onto the porch roof and into my bedroom and went back into her room to try from the inside. Failure again.

I rarely get headaches but I now had the worst headache. Probably from the frustration so I said to hell with it. I'll do it in the morning.

So I turn the TV on feeling like a complete failure. And do you know what is on? "Alone in the Wilderness"! The story about Richard Proenneke - the dude that lives in Alaska for 30 years and built everything with his hands. I almost threw my TV out the window. But then I figured I'd have to fix the window so I just sat and watched the show. In shame.

34 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

By the way, mission accomplished.

franki said...

This is why my kids are not allowed doors.

Robot Nine said...

Yep, you have to unscrew the two 'latch screws' on the side of the door. In this situation they are hidden in the closed door. On many locks you could stick a large screwdriver or butter knife into the hole in the center of the stem and twisdt it. This would depress the curved stop, allowing the door to open. I have had a troublesome lock that required me to use blot cutters though, lol. Alan

Tova Darling said...

Oh dear! Well, at least you rescued her, even if you couldn't figure out the door. Just think, if her window hadn't been easily accessible, you might've been fedding her by sliding cracker underneath the door and sticking a garden hose through the doorknob hole. She would've had to pee in a bucket!

Vodka Mom said...

oh Thank God, I was gonna offer to come over and get her out myself.

~E said...

That was a very heroic thing you did, Mr. Superdad...carrying the princess out of her room like that. Even if you ARE defective with the man-tools.

enc said...

I'm the female version of you Zibbo—I can't even hammer a nail in without wrecking the nail, the wall, and my thumb.

If you're like me, you don't watch Norm Abram on tv anymore either, because he could make anyone feel inadequate.

Kez said...

Oh I can sympathise. I can't even change light globes without something going wrong! Glad you finally got it sorted. Kind of cute how you rescued your daughter!
Hey, I gave you a shoutout on my latest blog post by the way!

Cora said...

Yeah, I'm going to have to go with ~E on this: you're Superdad!! Your daughter will be telling all her friends at school and everything. Awww.

SkylersDad said...

Yeah, but Richard Proenneke didn't have to deal with doorknobs.

Just brainstorming here, but do you have any explosives handy for the next time it happens?

mike said...

I think the whole point of locking doorknobs is that they are not easy to take apart to unlock. Otherwise any idiot with a butter knife could be a burgler. Don't feel bad.

buffalodick said...

I was in on consulting materials for building dies that made the components to locks... plastic and metal! No doors locked in rocket science!

Some Guy said...

That's it. For Christmas I'm getting you a one week intensive one-on-one training session with Norm Abram. By the time he's done with you you'll be a regular, um, Norm Abram.

Scope said...

Mr. Way After the Fact says; What about popping the hinges?

And get her some cool hippies beeds for a door for Christmas.

And a hooka.

Crys said...

i am just shocked you allow your child to have a door!

sista #2 said...

You need DoorKnobs for Dummies.

I took the bedroom door off once when they pissed me off. They were nice to me after that.


peace
#2

mcglinch said...

For sweet baby Jesus' sake, next time call me and I'll come right over, grab a beer, and sit in a chair by the door. I'll recommend -- no, insist -- that you call your father to come over and help you. I will have another beer and enjoy while you two argue over the lock mechanism, Kurt Cobain, AOL, and who truly deserves the title of Mayor of Main Street.

MelO said...

LOL... awww, Zibbs. This really does paint an interesting picture of you, my dear! ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

McGlinch - nice for you to chime in. I've noticed that you speak up whenever it has to do with me failing at something. I don't think the Lord would appreciate that.

greeneyesmcl said...

I'm so glad I married up! Was your phone not working either or were you once again ashamed to call upon the King of the Farmer's Market for assistance. I imagine after this adventure the project of replacing the kitchen sink has been pushed even further to the back burner. You're such a girl.

P.S. Before climbing through the window, did you ask your daughter to try turning the doorknob? Just a thought.....

Gwen said...

Heroic and demoralizing at the same time. Great post, pal.

Cowguy said...

This is exactly why I keep a few generic explosives in my toolbox. You should do the same.

Glad it all worked out for you.

Giggle Pixie said...

Meh. That wilderness guy is a show-off. Who needs 'em?

lol

gorillabuns said...

If I didn't know any better, I would think I was married to you.

Talk With No Thought said...

I've locked myself INSIDE my apartment before. I'm a shining beacon of amazingness

mcglinch said...

sorry, Z, but those are the stories I find the funniest.

See you at the library this afternoon checking out door knob books?

Brandi said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'll send my older SISTER over next time, she just might be more handy when it comes to these things then you are. ; )

Glad your daughter finally got out. Now go camping, it will make you feel like a man again. hehe

Brandi

moooooog35 said...

I've started small house fires trying to hang pictures.

I'm manly.

Queen Goob said...

I can attest to the fact that it's easier to just pop the hinges as Scope suggested.

No really, it is.

LOL

words words words said...

I think E said your man tool was defective.

Sausage Mechanic said...

Don't feel bad Zibbs. I finally gave up trying to explain to my wife why she could record something on the VCR and watch a different channel all at the same time. Thank God we ditched the VCR a couple of years ago. Thinking about getting a DVR this year....oh oh.

Talullah said...

Your kid is luckier than mine. I'd have left her in there and enjoyed watching what I wanted to on tv for a change.

LYDIA said...

Finally... the flaws are starting to surface. It's ok Zibbs, we can still be BFF's if you send me my present.

John Young said...

I thought I was the only one that nurtured a secret hatred of Proenneke. Him, and Pa Ingalls, who was always just, you know, WHIPPING UP A GODDAMN HOUSE at a moment's notice whenever they travelled farther into the Wild West.