Thursday, December 18, 2008

Pledge Of Allegiance DOH Moment



So I'm at a business lunch today and before the lunch they did the Pledge of Allegiance. Instead of saying "..Indivisible, with Liberty, and Justice for All", I totally said "...Invisible, with Liberty, and Justice for All". I think two people heard me.

(hitting hand on forehead) STUPID!

You see, I remember hearing some little kid use the word invisible one time during the pledge and I guess it's always on the tip of tongue. Maybe I have a mild case of Tourettes. Who knows, maybe someone with Tourettes sneezed on me without me knowing or something. I don't know. I have the same fear that I'm going to address a cop sometime with the line, "Hello Ociffer". I just know it.

Have any of you idiots ever done anything like that? No? Yeah right. Like you're all so smart. That's it...stop reading my blog you liars.

37 comments:

SouthernBelle said...

OK, so you know that hand sign for "whatever" that goes, hold up 3 middle fingers (palm facing yourself) for W, and then turn sideways to make E?

I did that in the wrong order with the wrong hand.

Husband now makes fun of me by saying "3-What?" every time I say "Whatever".

Step Right Up said...

But I thought the ACLU had banned The Pledge of Allegiance? What the heck were you doing reciting it? You at least didn't mention GOD{gasp!}did you?

Dr Zibbs said...

Southern Belle - classic. I have to actually think before I do the "L for loser. Wait, that doesn't make me a...? No

Step Right Up - I have been known to just mouth the word "god". And note how intentionally didn't capitalize it. See that?

Miss Catherine said...

Lol I'm with SRU.. What kind of buisness meeting are you attending saying the Pledge of Allegiance? Did you guys also sing the National Anthem? Soprano style?

-SBFFLMC

Vodka Mom said...

You should come to KINDERGARTEN and listen to OUR pledge. You would fit right in. oh yeah.

MelO said...

FINALLY! A picture of the great and powerful Dr. Zibbs!! That IS YOU, isn't it? ;)

SkylersDad said...

I have never messed up the words to the pledge, but instead of holding man hand over my heart, I grab my junk.

Kez said...

Haha um, once I called a couple of the hubby's friends mongoloids when I was reeeaalllly drunk and I meant to say they were of mongolian descent...does that count?
Oh and when I started reading this post I couldn't figure out what D.O.H. stood for in your title.
Doh! Figured it out just in time...in time for what? I do not know.

Cora said...

Ha ha ha. When I was in first grade I thought it was "where witches stand" instead of "for which it stands". Just couldn't figure out why we were still saying it when Halloween was over with!

Giggle Pixie said...

Maybe you were just exerting your superpower of invisibility and declaring liberty and justice for everyone else.

Yeah. That's it.

Fancy Schmancy said...

My verbal dyslexia is so rampant, I don't even take note of it anymore.

At least only 2 people heard you, you can easily take care of them before it gets out that you are not perfect.

Crys said...

why embarrassed? that is rad.

B.E. Earl said...

The Pledge of Allegiance? Before a business lunch? WTF?!?

Who does that?

Gwen said...

Dork.

catherinette said...

Is this a normal occurrence at your lunch meetings? I don't mean you making stuff up, I'm referring to the Pledge of Allegiance. I thought they only did that in schools.

Sausage Mechanic said...

My problem is trying to find that right word. You know, the one you use at least 20 times a day when it doesn't matter, but you can't remember for the life of you when it does. They call this a "senior moment." Alas, they are happening much more frequently in my life.

I gave you an award. Check it out on my blog if you wish.

URBAN BLONDE said...

Was it a business lunch for Corky lovers?

enc said...

of COURSE I've heard it! I've said it!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Tourettes would be saying "b!tch!" in the middle of your elderly aunt's funeral.

I can just see my nieces/nephews now...

sista #2 said...

dumbass...


Did you see Action News this morning????

Big Story.....Sista #2 has arrived!!!!

Be afraid....be very afraid....


peace
#2

Caffeine Court said...

Maybe you were channeling Corky.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I went to college with a guy that had Tourettes. He ended up being one of my very good friends. Though Tourettes is not funny, his "tick" was screaming at the top of his lungs during a simple conversation, "I wanna F*CK you!"
He used to say it to teachers, doctors, cops and once to my dad on parents weekend!

moooooog35 said...

Invisible with Liberty?!

Best. Superhero. Ever.

Son of a Thomas said...

I've got 2:

1- When my brother and I were young, we had to say the Our Father before bed. I used to think it was "Lead our snot into temptation"

2- My first day working at a radio station I was doing the college basketball scores and refered to Duquesne as Doo-ques-knee.

DUH!

buffalodick said...

Freudian slip...

dmb5_libra said...

i spelled caffeine wrong throughout an entire report i wrote on the stimulant in middle school? what? they didn't have spell check then.

i am way smarter now. kind of. i think.

saratogajean said...

Corky would never say 'invisible' during the POA.

He might say 'indibisibal,' though. That would be funny.

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the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I was once describing a synthetic route to a molecule in front of my grad school lab group, and they used sodium/mercury amalgam, and for about thirty seconds before I was going to say it, in the back of my mind, I kept saying to myself, "Don't say amle-GAM, don't say amle-GAM, don't say amle-GAM...it's uh-MAL-gum...don't say amle-GAM..."

So, sure enough, I fired off an "amle-GAM" and I saw my advisor smirk and knew that I said it wrong. And then I wept.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You have a lot of Corky on your website, you know that?

words words words said...

Every once in a while I say "Thank you" to something that wasn't even a compliment. It's my default "I'm freezing up and don't know what to say but I better say something quick" response. Yeah, I might be slightly retarded.

MelO said...

DAMN I just hate it when I say "amle-GAM" instead of "uh-MAL-gam"... that sucker gets me EVERY. TIME.

;)

Dr Zibbs said...

HAHAHAA - MElO - Good One!

artfulkisser said...

Do Americans pledge allegiance before every meal? Jesus... I know a number of people who say "Harold be thy name" in the lords prayer and they insist that's what it says. Partner always, but always, says "nilly willy" and is never quite sure whether he's right or wrong.

Brandi said...

Instead of singing Christmas Carols my niece has had me saying both the Pledge and the Texas flag ... ugh!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I was being trained on the use of an AED and in the middle of class the instructor said, "When the light is green," and I blurted out "The trap is clean!" I defy anyone who grew up in the 80s to do differently.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Just re-read Southern Belle's first comment and remembered a picture my sister has of her and her friends at a picnic table in Hawaii. Everyone is doing that 'hang loose' hand gesture, except my sister, who is doing the heavy metal devil-horns thing. Not on purpose.