Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Time I Didn't Eat Two Double Cheeseburgers In Vegas.

So I was talking to a friend yesterday about the time we were in Vegas a few years ago and something that made me laugh harder than I think I’ve ever laughed. It may be one of those “had to be there” stories but here it is anyway:

It was about midnight and it was the last night of the trip. He was all liquored up and was going to bed. I was like, “F that noise. I’m going dancing.”

So the next morning we check out and leave our bags with the concierge so we could eat breakfast. We return to get out bags. My friend says, “Do you have the ticket for the bags?” I reach in my pocket which is full of crumpled up money and various receipts. I hand him what I think is the bag ticket.

FRIEND: (examines receipt with interest then bursts into laughter). You ate TWO McDonalds double cheeseburgers at 4:33 AM??? WHAT THE HELL??

ME: WHAT?? No I didn’t! (I start laughing because I know I would never eat even one McDs double cheeseburger. Let alone two)

FRIEND: It says it right here! Two double cheeseburgers at 4:33! HAHA!!

ME: (Now I’m hysterical because I’m also now remembering the fog I was in as I went to McDonalds in one of the casinos) I must have picked up the wrong receipt!

FRIEND: (Thinks I’m lying about it or I just forget that I really ate two double cheeseburgers) No you didn’t you were so drunk that you ate the two burgers and you just forget!! At 4:33!

At this point we’re literally doubled over laughing. And I’m close to pissing my pants (like you chicks do when you’re cracking up). Then I actually do remember that it was a confusing late night ordering scene with drunk people and the stupid staff that was serving the food.

ME: Wait! (Barely getting one word out at a time) I remember now. (Hahaha) There was a bunch of receipts on the counter and I think I picked up the wrong one.

FRIEND: (Thinks I’m lying) YEAH RIGHT!!! HAHAHA!!!

ME: I swear! Why would I eat two double cheeseburgers? I would never do that!

FRIEND: But you did. Here’s the proof! (holds up the receipt)


And we continued to hysterically laugh. Practically screaming as people looked at us like we were crazy.

OK. Maybe you had to be there. But if the scene was acted out in a movie you would be cracking up.


Peggy said...

Haha...what were you doing in the McDonalds then? Filet O Fish? Gag.

I actually had a full on "wet my pants" incident in Vegas...but I'll save that story for another day.

Shannon Green said...

Digging anything out of your pocket or purse can be a recipe for disaster.

A few years ago I was standing in line at the bank waiting for my turn at the teller window. I thought I'd be considerate and save time by endorsing my checks and filling out my deposit slip while I waited.

I shoved my hand into my ginormous purse and pulled out a pen which had unfortunately become entangled with the string of a tampon that had liberated itself from its wrapper.

The tampon flew far enough to land at the feet of a gentleman wearing a very expensive looking suit in the line next to me. He instinctively bent down to pick it up without looking at what it was.

I'll never forget the look on his face as he realized just exactly what his hand was hovering over. It was like he instantly transformed into a child with eyes that were pleading, "oh God, what do I do now??"

I picked it up, shoved it back into my purse and didn't make eye contact with anyone else in the entire bank as I waited in line for what seemed like days.

All that was to say...it coulda been worse. Own the cheeseburgers.

sybil law said...

THIS girl does not piss herself laughing!

Double cheeseburger eater, you.

Dr Zibbs said...

Peggy - NO! I usually go for the single.

Shannon Green - HAHAHA! Sweet. You should have snapped a picture.

Sybil - I swear I didn't eat that thing. (Both of those things actually)

Unknown said...

So, let me get this straight...You had two double cheeseburgers (let me do the math, "Four crappy hamburgers") for breakfast? HAHA! Oh, and I don't wet my pants when I laugh either.

Unknown said...

It's ok to admit you had 2 double cheeseburgers. I'm sure there's a support group somewhere.

For the record, this is totally something my friends and I would be hysterical over and I'm sure my co-workers are wondering what the hell I'm laughing at over here. I wonder if "a story Zibbs wrote up about eating 2 double cheeseburgers in Vegas" is going to accurately convey why I'm laughing. hahahaa

Dr Zibbs said...

Trina - haha. No. Your math is all wrong.

Alice - Come on. Just tell them. Go ahead.

Chris said...

So I guess you ordered the McGangbang instead?


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