Thursday, April 30, 2009

Wake Up Fart Video Will Get You Laughing. Hysterical.

I'm going to take a short break from the mature content of this blog and give you this video of people waking each other up by farting on them.

What do you think? Enjoy the video.

Downingtown Farmers Market And Robot Hoax. Early Computers.

So Internet searcher - did you find this blog post because you had a bet with a friend that you were talking to a robot in the 80's at the Downingtown Farmers Market?

Well I've got some bad new for you. Calm down and have a seat.

..Let me explain this to my regular blog readers first. You see blog readers - years ago as I mentioned I worked at an audio store at the Downingtown Farmers Market. And we had a cheap version of a Mr Microphone.

Knowing the crap we were selling, it was probably called "Mizz Mikey" or "Mr Mike Talk" - because we sold mostly bootleg junk.

So we used to get really bored. And the owner didn't care if we drank beer while we worked so we were constantly screwing with people for the hell of it and to amuse ourselves. So we would take turns hiding behind the counter with the Mr Microphone bootleg device and screw with all of the hillbillies:

Me: (talking in robot voice) Attention Downingtown Farmers Market shoppers. My name is the Zarcon 5000 and I am a very advanced robot computer from Japan.

(hillbillies crowd into the store in amazement)

Hillbilly: OH MY GOD. What's going on?

Me: I see you. I'm a robot. By the way, I like that red, white and blue wolf t-shirt you are wearing.

Hillbilly: (looks down at his shirt) Oh my God! How can you see me?

Me: (remember -I'm still talking in robot voice) Look up at the large mirror. That is my electronical eye. I see all. Welcome to the Downingtown Farmers Market. And who is the snapping youngster next to you that is eating a funnel cake?

Hillbilly Kid: HE'S TALKING TO ME NOW!!!!

We would do this all night. Sometimes we would ask people to give us a math problem and we'd have a calculator behind the counter and tell them the answer. As if they really knew what 1034 times 345 was. But we'd tell them anyway.

One time I felt kind of bad because I was telling this 10 year old kid to stand on one foot, tap dance and imitate a chicken. Then his dad came up and grabbed him by the arm, "What the hell are you doing making an ass out of yourself?"

"No dad -it's a talking robot. It's the Zarcon 5000!"

The dad just looked at him and pulled him out of the store.

God I wish I had recorded those sessions.

So I guess what I'm trying to say to the hillbillies that fell for this and they went online to prove to their friends that they talked to an early robot in Downingtown ?....I'm afraid you just lost yourself a bet. Now hand over the jar of jam or the pocket knife or whatever it was that you lost in the bet. And from now on.....use your head. Don't believe everything you see.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Prunella and Furburgers and Jesus and Funny Ass Post.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

PA Blogger Calls For NYC Air Force One Debacle Firing.

The person who authorized the flying of Air Force One so close to NYC the other day for a photo op should be fired.

Case closed.

Did any of my New York readers see it? Here's a video of it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Longwood Gardens. Smells. Flowers in Chester County. Concerts.

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YO LADY! Get the hell out of my backyard!!! Just kidding. That image above is from Longwood Gardens in Southern Chester County. It's a world class garden in Chester County. The Duponts used to live there mind you.

Rich SOB's.

I was there the other week and thought I'd share the images with you.

And do you see what flowers in the front? Hyacinths. They're probably my favorite smell in the world. Whenever they're in bloom I cut them and put them in my car because I like the smell so much. I wonder if they make a perfume with that stench because I would totally start to make out with some chick if she wore that. Unless it was some old bat. Or a butterface chick....or....OK I'd be selective but you know what I mean.

What's your favorite smell? And don't say my pits.

And here's another picture:

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Wow! It's a stage at Longwood Gardens. They've been having concerts there. How great would it be to see a concert in this paradise? Rufus Wainwright, Etta James and Boz Scaggs are all scheduled to be there soon. I like all three of them. Why don't you buy me a ticket and take me there? I'll totally do it.

Except you smuggle in the weed. I'm way too important for the big house unless I can be like the wiseguys on Goodfellas and be able to make my own food. And I would totally do the shaving garlic deal with the razor blade. You'll see.

And lastly, as a celebrity I was invited to attend an important event there in May. I'm still deciding whether to go. We'll see.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Marijuana Joint Not Found at Downingtown Movie Theater.

To the kid that was working at the Downingtown Regal theater and cleaned up the theater after I saw the movie Knowing yesterday. And he saw a joint sitting in the cup holder that I left. So he slipped it into his pocket then went into the bathroom to check it out more closely.

But then when he was examining it in the stall he realized it was just a twirled up napkin that Dr Zibbs just twisted because when he goes to the movies he does that as a habit. Especially scary movies. And it looks exactly like a joint.

My message to you is this:


Now get back to work. You missed some popcorn I dropped under my seat when the alien looking dude opened his mouth and scared Nicholas Cage.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

West Chester. Blogger Meetup. Guinness. Kildare's.

So as you saw from my gripping Twitter Tweets on Friday I met with Swedish Chef at Kildare's in West Chester and a special guest blogger that met me for the first time - Andrew aka "Arod 138".

We had a great time in West Chester AND he even gave me a Guinness t-shirt that he won there. Probably because I was complaining like a baby how I didn't win. And I guess it's a good thing that I didn't win because the winners got their photos taken with the Guinness girl and then my identity would be splashed all over the internets. So to read Andrew's take on the Happy Hour, click here.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The TBY Garden Of Hope. West Chester Organic Veggies.

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For new readers of TBY that haven't printed out and analyzed and framed all of my blogs posts, you may not be familiar with THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. It's my Chester County vegetable garden. And it's underway for the season.

Now don't get all discouraged - I know - it doesn't look like much now. But print the photos out each week and post them up in a local rec center or your trailer park lobby and follow along as I grow things. Get the whole community involved and follow my progress. Some have been known to make their own color coding systems for better understanding.

Now I know many of my readers are not very smart, so by following along, you'll see that vegetables actually come from the ground.

It's true dummy!

Enjoy the journey!

Jimmy John's Hotdogs on West Chester Pike. Pig

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Here's a hot digity dog I had at the famous Jimmy John's Hot Dogs on West Chester Pike a few weeks ago. I think I added too many onions.

Gilligans Island, Honeybees and Peter Brady Dancing Match.

So I'm taking a little break from working in the yard. And when I look out on my deck I see the carpenter bees I'll be killing later with my electric tennis racket (see actual image on my header above).

Then it got me thinking about when the gals on Gilligan's Island did their Honeybees routine.

I forgot just how bad Mrs Howell was. Once you finish watching the hotties, play it again and note how Lovey is terrible every second of the song. And I thought Peter Brady couldn't dance. Jesus Christ! What a fool. And when she says the word "ring" I want to rush the stage and tackle her snobby ass!

And Mary Ann here reminds me a bit of my wife when my wife had longer hair.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Guns N Roses. West Chester Lazy Blogger Dedicates To Nobody.

I'm in too much of a rush to dedicate the Friday Send Off Song bitches so here's Guns N' Roses doing Sweet Child O' Mine.

Did you used to hide behind a log pile when it looked like it was about to rain like Axel and me? Yeah - you did. Who didn't if you think about it?

So crank this one up and start dancing until your loved ones come in and ask, "What the HELL are you doing?" Then - shamefully turn off your computer and go back to cleaning things up or whatever else you were pretending to do. But remember - that I love you.

Most of you.

215 followers and counting. Tell your friends. Make a game out of it!

Cameron The Blogger From Illinois and West Chester Swedish Chef.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Cameron the blogger is one of the funniest bloggers out there. Especially his comments on TBY. Check this out.

His sense of humor reminds me a bit of a fellow blogger Swedish Chef. Maybe they're related because if you go to their comments on TBY, print them out, mix them up in a barrel and pull them out - you wouldn't be able to tell who is who.

Go ahead. Try it. You'll see.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

West Chester Blogger Yells Out Window on Market Street. Henderson High School.

How embarrassing. As a back story, there was this goofy dude and my dad asked him what high school he went to. In a really loud, slow, goofy ass way of talking - he said proudly, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL". You have to understand that it was super goofy.

Part 2: So my friend Sean loves this accent so when I answer the phone when it's him I just yell, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL" in that same goofy ass way.

Part 3: So I'm driving down Market Street in West Chester the other day and I see my friend Sean. My window's down so I lean my head out, point to him and yell, "HENDER......."

Oh shit! It's not Sean. I stopped in mid sentence, and turned the other way so the dude couldn't identify me.

How embarrassing. I was going to kill him but decided to let him live.

It's very similar what happened to me when I was about eight. I was in church and after mass, I saw my sister. I snuck up behind her, leaned into her ear and garbled nonsense. Something like, "ruprthgrogorakldslkrfal" - just complete nonsense in a stupid, fast motion way of talking.

Then, she turned around - almost in slow motion....and it wasn't her. It was some other chick. I was so horrified I almost fainted. The chick had the expression of, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KID??"

(Looking to our powerful Lord above as he falls to his knees) WHY do I do this Jesus? WHY have you picked me for these situations. Please give me guidance!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Exotic Dancer Interviews Me - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

As I mentioned about two weeks ago - I love the blog of Prunella De Ville. She's got such a great sense of humor and she just cracks me up.

And she recently reached out (or reached around) to me via email and she's as fascinating in email form as she is in blogger form. And she also gave me one of the best compliments a blogger has ever given me - she went into detail about how funny my writing was - it made me feel great. God, don't you people know that the quickest way to my heart and maybe into my pants is compliments?

So if you want to read a hysterical interview of me (especially the picture she paints in the preview) - hold onto your hats and click here.

And I love the image of me as a 400 year old vampire/werewolf hybrid. Sweet. I's an accurate description. That's what I meant to say.

Dr Zibbs Interviewed By Kansas Nurse Blogger.

Shawn from the blog Kansas Chaos was the first win an intreview with me this week. To read it click here.

She leaves some funny comments on my blog too. So check it out. I'll be posting the 2nd interview later so don't forget to check back.

And don't cry because you didn't win the chance. Maybe you'll win someday. The odds are very high but you must believe.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Beatles, Weird Lookalikes and Movies.

I love the Beatles.

I love movies.

I'm pretty good when I'm watching a movie and suspending my belief and really getting into the movie.

But...while I'm watching this Beatles movie on VH1 I just can't do it. Whenever I see people playing the Beatles I just can't do it. The actors in this one are actually not bad but I can't get over that they don't look like the Beatles.

I'm still gonna watch it though. OH MY GOD! John's Mum just died!

Here are the real Beatles in Manchester in 1963. Who other than Miss Alex are Beatles fans?

Let's Rub Butts. Hearing Aid Horns and My Memory.

Has anyone ever heard the expression, "Let's rub butts" - then you rub your butt on someone?

I swear I thought I made that up but I made a reference to it once and a blogger said she does that too. I do it to my wife while lying in bed as if it's something that I'm really into - "Let's rub butts!" Was that expression in a movie maybe?

It's hard to remember the things that I make up. It's also hard to remember if the jokes I make up are real or not.

My friend "The Child" was talking about his super old uncle recently. I asked, "You mean the one where everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs to talk to him because he refused to get a hearing aid?"

"Yeah that's him."

"And he had one of those horns that they used in the 1800 to hear?

"He didn't have one of those!"

See what happens there? It was an exaggeration of the story I made years ago and then after hearing the story over the years, I forget that the part that I made up was just a joke.

One wonders how bad this will eventually get. Is anyone else forgetful like this? Maybe I'll start pushing the focus on you guys so I don't look like the senile one.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Who Would Like To Interview Me? - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

I am now opening up the lines for 2 people that want to interview me as I did a few weeks ago. If you do want to interview me:

- Email me saying: "I want to interview you" in the subject line.
- When I give you the OK, you can then email me up to 10 questions. I will answer these questions. I have the right to say "not tellin'"
- Note that I will NOT be coming to your home.
- You will then post the interview on your site on Wednesday and I'll link to it.

Please look at my comments section because when I write, THE LINES ARE CLOSED - the two spaces are taken.

And the crying can start. Good luck!

I Love Lucy Fan Spotted In Downingtown Wegmans Parking Lot.

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My guess is that this is some of the history of this I Love Lucy license plate that I saw in the Downingtown Wegmans parking lot.

(Chinese factory) "Somebody heart this lady with red hair".

(Friends of "Mabel") "Oh my God! Mabel loves I Love Lucy! We've got to get her this license plate. It's a collectible you know!" They proudly buy the gift.

(Mabel of Caln, PA opens I Love Lucy license plate at birthday party) OH MY GOD! Harry, look what I got! You need to put it on the car so I can drive around town and showcase my new Lucy license plate".

License plate is put onto car and Mabel and friends drive to the Downingtown Wegmans.

(Dr Zibbs in parking lot spots stupid license plate) "Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me! (snaps photo of white trash license plate).

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Blogger Imagines Ladder Accident While On Ladder Yesterday.

Yesterday I was way up on the ladder trying to cut branches. You see, I need to get more sunlight going to my veggie garden.

I don't really mind the height once I'm up there but once in a while it spooks me. I looked over and a saw one of the red tailed hawks in another tree and I was imagining that he was going to swoop at me. I'd then accidentally push the ladder and I'd be hanging on for dear life.

I'd be yelling for my wife to put the ladder back. She'd finally get the ladder up but I'd be afraid to put my feet back onto it for fear of falling. We'd then get into an argument over whether she should call some neighbors to help or the fire department but I couldn't figure out which would be less embarrassing.

After a while people would start gathering at the curb to see what all racket was about.

This is a real scenario of the type of stuff that goes through my head everyday. Oh Lord - why was a cursed with this brain? It just won't stop sometimes.

Now enjoy this klutz falling off a small ladder.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Olivia Newton John and My Trip To England for a Date.

When my wife is asleep tonight I'm totally going to ask her if it's OK with her that I fly to England and go on a date with one of my favorite new bloggers - Girl Interrupted.

If she mumbles yes, I'd like Girl I to sing "Hopelessly Devoted To You" by Olivia Newton John as I come out of the plane. Then - the dating will begin.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friday. Buffalo Springfield. Neil Young. Phoenixville PA. Trash.

So as I'm cruising my ass down Route 113 from Phoenixville this afternoon with the windows down - Neil Young came on. I was gonna throw trash out the windows to keep with the times of the song but then decided against it. I'm green man.

So here is Neil Young when he was in Buffalo Springfield. Crank it up Holmes!!!

And I hereby dedicate the Friday Send Off Song to Lana and Brian . And I encourage you to visit their blogs and I thank them for visiting my blog and commenting. By doing so, they must be wise and cool.

211 people that will not be burning in the horrible pits of hell strong. Are you a follower of my blog? You better because it's hot down there brother. Wayyyyy hot.

Small Snake Freakin' Me Out. Phobias and Bed Bug Problem.

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Sssssssss!!!! Here's a picture of a snake I captured in a bucket. You may remember this bucket as the same one I use in The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. Yeah. It's the same one! I love the sound of the clanking handle.

I have no problem with big snakes. If someone had a boa constrictor or python, I would put it around my neck in a second.

There's something about these small snakes though that freak me out. They move too fast and I think they're sneaky.

Not many things freak me out or spook me but the other thing that makes me sick is something I heard on the news this morning. Do you know that there's a major problem with bed bugs? There is. So watch out.

The other thing in the yard that freaks me out is when I pick up a rock and a vole comes running out. That's when I scream like a girl.

What grosses you out or sickens you? And don't say me.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Chris Elliott Always Cracks My Ass Up.

Chris Elliott has always cracked me up. From his appearances on Letterman to his short lived show Get a Life to his movie appearances.

Here's a clip of him from Letterman. I never saw this one before. I just love his dry, jackass delivery.

Is anyone else a fan?

Hobo Blog Song Has Everyone Talking. Composer Contest.

For readers of my blog that check out the comments and the Twitter comments - they were treated to a little gem yesterday. It was a That Blue Yak theme song recorded by me. It was a local hobo that happened to be singing the praises of my blog. It's right over there on the sidebar. Click play on the Snapvine recorder.

In case you want to sing along, here are the lyrics:

That Blue Yak is the best blog in the land
It will take your heart and then take you by your hand.
You can read it at home or you can read it at worky
But if you read it you will not be a jive turkey
Because That Blue Yak is the Greatest blog in the land. (yes it is)

(Part 2)

Some of the blogs are totally gay
But not That Blue Yak it will get you every single day
From the city slickers to the hillbillie hicks
Dr Zibbs blog is followed by many dudes and chicks

Because That Blue Yak is the Greatest Blog in the Land.
(It's the greatest blog in the fuckin' land)

Note how the hobo is a blog reader because it's kind of sung to the tune of Eight Is Enough. Which I just blogged about.

Well here's the great part. If you leave a verse in the comments section I'm going to go back to the hobo and his friends and ask them to sing YOUR SONG. Now I'll probably only have the top two songs done because you know how hobos can be with their music. But give it a shot.

It will be something that you can record and proudly give to your grandchildren someday.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Blogger Does Video of Putting On Makeup.

So check out this video of the blogger E. I'm a long time reader of her blog and she's read mine for a while too.

Great to finally see her. (Even though she has shown a few clips but none this revealing).

While you're there, make sure to follow her blog because it's a good one.

Real Practical Joke. Calendar Models. College High Jinks.

So I while back on my blog I did a series of posts about practical jokes I've done. Here's another one. Grab a carpet mat and have a seat and I'll treat you to another one. Gather in closer now.

You! No eating!

OK. So it was in college and I'm walking down the dorm hall and this jackass that I never could stand was leaning against a doorway harassing this shy girl.

Guy: So admit it Patty. You're a virgin.

Shy Girl: Will you just shut up.

Guy: It's not a big deal. But why won't you admit it? You're a virgin aren't you?

Shy Girl:
(about to cry) Just shut up.

This had been going on for a while.

So later on that night, I was hanging out with these two chick that were really funny and asked the one to do this. I was going to do it myself but was afraid he'd recognize by voice. So the one called him:

(Phone rings)


My Chick Friend:
Hello is this Barry?

Guy: Yeah.

My Chick Friend: Well hello Barry, this is Mary Ann from American Collegiate Calendars.... And the reason we're calling is that we put out a calendar every year featuring various students from colleges in the region and we'd like to see if you'd be interested in posing.

Guy: (All excited and shit) Really?

My Chick Friend: Really. Now we did get your name anonymously from someone that apparently watches you play football? - looks like you've got an admirer. Would you mind posing in your football outfit?

Guy: Yeah OK.

So we give him more info and tell him that the photographer was going to be at a specific building in a week. This jackass was so excited he called every friend he knew, called his parents and was walking around like a dick.

So the day comes and I see him walking out of the dorm. About an hour later he comes back all pissed off, opens his door and throws his crap in the room.

Mission accomplished. Don't mess with Zibbs.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Gayest TV Theme Song Ever. Eight Is Enough.

What is the gayest TV theme song ever? The votes are in and it's season 3 of Eight is Enough.

"We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes? " How did anyone approve that line. (Clenches butt) I feel kind of gay just saying it.

But I'll tell you one thing, some of those sisters were hot.

And Nicholas? Everyone always said he was cute but look at the size of that head. It's huge! That thing wouldn't even fit into a standard sized bowling ball bag. Think about it.

So now is the time to listen to the song and finally realize how terrible it was. Who was YOUR favorite character on Eight is Enough? And why was David so serious all the time?

Practical Jokes, Weddings and New Blog Readers.

That's it - I've got it! I just thought of a great practical joke. Once I find a new reader that seems very vulnerable, I thought I could lead her on. Like I'm in love with her. You guys can help by leaving comments on her blog saying, "He totally likes you".

Then, on the wedding day, all of you guys can pretend to be my real life friends. And just when I'm supposed to say "I do" I'll say,

"I...I...(looking at you guys in church trying not to laugh)..I GOT YOU". Some one can crawl up behind her and and I'll push her over you so she falls on the floor.

Then the priest will pull off his fake mask showing he's some D list actor (maybe Screech from Saved by the Bell or David from Eight is Enough) and a huge drape will fall on the alter that's covering a huge monitor that's shows all of the people she works with watching this hysterical joke.

Then we'll all point and laugh. Is everyone in?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Neil Diamond. Sweet Caroline. Clarinet Playing In PA

Remember Neil Diamond singing Sweet Caroline? When I played the clarinet in 3rd grade I had to learn to play Sweet Caroline.

Never could get it down. I faked the whole thing.

Here's how it's supposed to sound. So are you a lover or hater of Neil Diamond? I used to hate him but then realized how great he is. Embrace your cheesey side people.

Topsy Turvey Sales. So Close - Yet So Far Away. Tomato.

Whoa! Look at the Topsy Turvy upside down growing bag on my sidebar. Growing tomatoes upside down? Huh?

And it works too. Have you seen the commercial? One blogger told me she bought one this weekend at Kmart and another blogger told me she MIGHT be buying one from me. I couldn't make this stuff up. So close yet so far away.

Do you know what it means for you though? You could be one of the first people to buy the Topsy Turvy from That Blue Yak. And if you do, I get something like 30 cents. And if you're on the line about making the purchase I want you to know that when I spend that 30 cents I'll be thinking about really sick children. In YOUR honor!

So what are you guys growing in your veggie gardens this year?

And here's my veggie garden tip of the day: "To keep deer away, I like to make a mixture of soap and Tabasco and spray it on the leaves. I also grow some mint and clip it and string it around my garden fence. If you have a wolf or a bear, try chaining it to your garden fence. That should work too".

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter. WCHE 1520. Gigantic Monster Jesus.

Number one - stay calm. If my calculations are correct, the real Jesus will rise from the dead today at 3:00. He will have grown to 100 feet tall.

And he's pissed.

I'm urging all citizens to gather as many eggs as they can. When the gigantic Jesus approaches you, throw the eggs directly at his heart. You've got to trust me on this.

I will be releasing a message to all survivors via the West Chester radio station WCHE 1520 AM in a few days with a plan for rebuilding.

Good luck.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Green Onions. Booker T. Seeds and Things For West Chester Garden.

So I've picked up the following that will be going into my The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE this week:

- Onions sets
- Shallots
- Lettuce - Black-Seeded Simpson
- Lettuce - Iceburg A
- Spinach - Bloomsdale Long-Standing
- Cabbage - Earliana

I also picked up some Beefmaster and Early Girl Tomato seeds that I'll be starting indoors.

I think I'll play Booker T's song "Green Onions" at the opening ceremony of my garden this year. So I'm giving everyone time to learn this dance.

Blogger's Choice Award. Who Wants To Nominate Me?

So if you click here - you can see the Blogger's Choice Awards. I was going to nominate yourself but I don't want to look like one of those people that tries to promote his blog.

..hahaha - not that YOU guys don't know that. I'm thinking about the potential future bloggers that might be reading my blog.

So does anyone want to nominate me? If you do, it'll say right there on the page that YOU were the person that nominated me. And you will hold a special place in my heart until the end time.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Rhode Island Song For Jesus. Peaches, Lobsters and Pencils.

So the Friday Send Off Song is dedicated to Jesus for pulling his magic. And we shall celebrate it this Easter. If it wasn't for Jesus we wouldn't have Cadbury Chocolate eggs. Now would we?

The song is called, "Rhode Island is Famous for You". Has anyone ever heard this song? It's very catchy. For the sinners that won't be visiting my blog until after Easter - have a good one. For those that will be checking out my blog this weekend - I bless thee.

209 followers strong.

Random Stuff Friday From Chester County Blogger. Nancy Grace.

And now some random thoughts from Chester County PA.

- I Love 30 Rock. It's a TV show.

- I watch the history channel all the time and I love learning about other cultures but whenever anything comes on about India I get bored and turn the channel. Is that wrong?

- I wish they had a 70's porno soundtrack that could be played at parties.

- My wife is obsessed with Twilight. I'm thinking about getting a vampire outfit.

- Michelle Obama is really starting to annoy me. What's the big deal?

- I don't know if Nancy Grace is married of not but could you imagine hearing that voice every night? Jesus Christ!

- If you haven't seen the Chris Issac show - check it out on the Bio Channel. He interviews rock stars. He's interviewing Cat Stevens tonight. I used to get it on in college with this one chick while listening to him. Great memories.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

If I Go To Philly's House I'll Ask That This Allman Brothers Song Is Playing

So I just got invited to a pool party by long time reader Philly number one. I need to look at my busy, important schedule but if I do go, I'd like to be introduced with this song by the Allman Brothers. The Statesboro Blues.

It might get expensive for them because it's a really long song so I'll be walking down blocks and blocks to get to their pool. So the sound system will have to be set up along my route. Then, when I finally arrive I'll slowly walk to the top of the high dive that they'll have to install per my contract and I'll do a splash into the pool on the last note.

Go ahead. Find a private spot in your home, close your eyes and imagine that you're there. Are you imagining that it's a swim club and when I got out of the pool you warmed me with a towel over my shoulders then we went to the snack bar and got hotdogs, nachos and two cokes? Don't lie. That's what you're dreaming about.

Now snap out of it and go get your chores done.

Bali Bras Vs My Nipple Bra Invention. Don't Go Stealin'!

So I just saw this commercial for Bali Bras. Their line is, "for the ultimate modesty". They embroider a cute little flower patch on the inside of the bra in the nipple area so no nipple shows through. This is what I learned from the commercial.

Now as you know, I'm a nipple man.

And the Bali Bra goes totally against a bra invention I conceived about 12 years ago. It's a bra that gives you the support but has a cut out so your nipples show through. Thus making you more desirable and sexy.

I told a few gals at work about it and they all said it was a stupid idea. Something about the friction. Others said women don't want their nipples showing. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Because a few years ago there was a chick on the The Big Idea Show and she said she walked around Vegas with toothpaste caps on her nips as a joke and she go tons of attention and then made a bra to highlight this feature. Thief.

What do you think?

(And the post from Kimmie about our historic meeting can be read here).

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Exton Howard Johnson Circa 1980. Throw Up Prank.

There used to be a Howard Johnson Restaurant in Exton PA years ago. My friend Jim was a dishwasher there in 9th grade. Here's the conversation we had one time:

Me: So how do you like working at HoJo's?

Jim: It sucks. I was working today and the manager said, "Someone threw up. Go clean it up". So It walk out there all pissed off and I saw it. I started to sweep some of it into the dustpan and it was of those rubber gag throw ups you get at Spencer's. I look up and this table of Seniors is looking and laughing at me. Fuckin' assholes.


Jim: You're an asshole.

Me: What??????

And now, enjoy this Howard Johnson clip:

Breaking News: West Chester Bloggers Meet At Barnaby's.

Another That Blue Yak meetup has happened! I've revealed myself to another human. Here's how it when down:

- I decided after a long day of being fabulous that I would stop in the Barnaby's in West Chester to wet my whistle with a Sam Adams. A reward if you will.

- I alert the world that I am in Barnaby's Pub and that bloggers are welcome to join me. I do this via Twitter. Kimmie, a local blogger that I've been wanting to meet for ages reads this on Twitter that is temporarily located on my blog and she signs up for Twitter.

- I take this as a code and send her an email telling her I'm still at Barnaby's.

- All of a sudden, who do I see walking in the bar? A petite, foxy blond woman - looking around. It's Kimmie. I say, "Kimmie, are you looking for me? I'm Dr Zibbs". (see staged reaction above)

And talk about a surreal 30 seconds. I've been commenting on her blog for a year and vice versa and we finally meet. She was exactly what I thought she'd be like. Super nice, really sweet and totally interesting to talk to. And even more beautiful in person. We talked about food, blogging, me. All the important stuff.

I actually blushed a bit at first as I was saying, "Yes, it's me - Dr Zibbs". And I was giggling like a school girl for a while too. Even I can feel humble. Me. Overall, a great meeting and we plan to keep in touch. What a great time meeting a fellow blogger. Who will be next? Maybe it will be you - or you (getting right in your face and whispering) or even YOU!

You'll have to check out her blog today because she said she will be telling you all about a day that I think might be one of the best of her life.

I'm just guessing.

And not to make Words, Words, Words jealous, but you were discussed. I wish you were there brother. We talked about the dish you made the other night that was based on her recipe.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Lets all Go To The Galapogos Islands With Alex Trebek!

Now I don't want to get everyone excited, but if I can change some things on my busy schedule, I'm going to be ...are you ready for this?......bringing 20 That Blue Yak readers on the trip to the Galapagos Islands that Alex Trebek from Jeopardy has been hawking all week!

And I'll be paying for everything. It's my way of saying thank you. But I will only take 20 of you. I'm thinking the first part of the trip we can really do some site seeing, check out some of Darwin's legacy and party our asses off but the second part of the trip will be strictly used for bothering Trebek.

We'll still be partying but we really need to focus on putting Trebek over the edge.

What can you add to the trip? Why should you be picked? Let me know in the comments section. I will pick 20 readers. The others will be allowed to meet us at the port but no amount of tears is going to change my mind and let you go on this historic, life altering trip that I'm sure will make it on Entertainment Tonight and all those other crappy shows. So you need to make sure you're OK watching us sail away while you go back to your boring - non Trebek harassing lives.

You will only have the memory of waving at me and the winners from a port in San Diego as we sail away.

But good luck anyway.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Patrick Swayze In RoadHouse. Seriously - Are You Kidding Me?

Yesterday at the BBQ that I went to I was able catch a half hour of the movie Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze.

Why didn't anybody tell me that Roadhouse was so great? And by great I mean so cheesy that I couldn't stop laughing. I wish they took photos of the pride in the faces of the people that were responsible for making that movie. If I had those photos I bet I could watch the movie, then glance at the photos and just laugh my ass off.

And do you see that part in the clip below where Patrick Swayze is shirtless and doing karate moves because he studied Eastern philosphy in college? I would give anything to have that Swayze character live next to me and do that crap in his yard because my new hobby would be to harass Swayze. I'd probably call it "operation harass Swayze" or something really creative like that. I'd probably hide in the brush making monkey sounds, shoot rocks at him using my wrist rocket - things like that. After I gained his trust of course. That's how I do it.

And his intensity reminds me of how much I can't stand people that are this intense and serious. Fine to be serious all the time but if you've got no quirkiness to you then I have no use for you. (looking away and shooshing with hand) Be on your way.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Girl Interupted Makes Me Happy. And Prunella DeVille. Blog Love.

I've got a very important announcement. I've got to tell you that I love blogging more than ever. And I love the people that reach out to me. Not all of them. Some will reach out and I'll pretend that I never got their emails. But then there are the super stars that have blogs that are so great and their comments are so funny that I really wish I could meet them in real life. One is an English blogger I've mentioned recently called Girl Interupted. In a recent post she wrote:

"Dr Zibbs of the infamous That Blue Yak ... because there's no denying it, he's quite simply "The Daddy" of all bloggers and no respectable blog-party would be seen dead without him in attendance ... plus he wouldn't want to miss all the pudding-wrestling "

What a wise gal. The link to the post is here. And I may steal the idea she did for this post because it's great and I was kind of thinking about doing a similar post anyway.

Then, you've got the blogger Prunella DeVille. Also hysterical but has a different style.

And do you know what? They're both beautiful! Funny and hot. Do you know how rare that is? It's the deadliest combination that I know of.

I just really love when bloggers reach out and say hi. Especially the super talents like these two.

And on a side note, there are many blogs that I read that aren't funny, they're just really interesting. Which is great too. It just so happens that these two are super interesting AND funny. If you don't go and bookmark their blogs now - you're crazy.

Shaun of the Dead Is On Right Now. Horror Movies

Quick! Change the channel to Comedy Central. Shaun of the Dead is on. It's almost over but maybe you can go to the video store and rent it later. It's a horror movie AND a comedy movie. And the kicker? Everyone talks with an English accent.

I saw it in the theater and it's pretty good.

Any good horror movies you can recommend? Another recent horror movie I love is The Hills Have Eyes.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Villanova, Georgetown and Chick with Nice Nipples.

So to my friend Flare that will surely be watching the Villanova Basketball game shortly - I send you this message: Thanks for all the great times when I came to see you at Georgetown especially the first time I was there and I hooked up with that chick with the nice nipples. And I realized that, "Hey, I can pick up smart girls too. I'm not a dummy."

I'm hoping Villanova wins but if they lose, I'm sure you'll be happy. To see a Villanova and Georgetown clip from back in the day, click here.

Windy. The Association. Market Street Grill And West Chester Haircut.

So I just got back from a tasty breakfast at The Market Street Grill in West Chester with my wife. Great breakfast if you're ever in the area. My wife just put a cap on and I said, "You're wearing that? I guess that fine but if we run into any bloggers just play along when I say you're my driver."

Now I'm going back into town to get my haircut at Van Ryn's Barber Shop. Another local business I support. And I'll be battling the 45 mph winds that are whipping around today. When I was in town early I was glad hat my hat my didn't blow off. Nothing worse then when your hat blows off and when you bend down to pick it up it blows away again.

And at what point do you say the hell with it? After four times probably. If people are looking - three.

Maybe after I get my haircut I'll run up to people on High Street in West Chester singing this Windy song by The Association. The Association? The Association of Gay Blades. Have you ever seen this video? And check out my main man on the guitar. I guess they were ground breakers though getting a dude from Guam to play in their band back in the 60's.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Singing The Go-Go's "We Got The Beat" In Wawa. Busted.

I'm not making this up. I was in a Wawa in Chaddsford PA yesterday and while I was taking a leak, the Go-Go's song "We Got The Beat" was on. So I was mouthing the song in an intentionally annoying way that I would do to a friend if he were there. As you know, I do this to amuse myself.

And I was thinking that it would be funny if I got caught doing this and it would be a good blog post. See. I'm thinking about you people during the day.

Well the music was so loud in the bathroom that I didn't even notice that in a split second some dude was standing next to me at the other urinal.

I washed my hands with my head down and got the hell out of there.

So on that note, "We've Got The Beat" is actually a pretty good running song. And I need to get my black underweared ass back running. So I dedicate The Friday Send Off Song to a long distance and long time reader Michelle. Check out her blog damn it!

203 Followers strong. But sadly, yesterday there were 204. Hopefully that person died and it wasn't a choice to stop following me.

Tongues, Arrows, Bigfoot and Other Random Stuff.

Here are some random thoughts.

1) I hate the new Geico commercial - the one where "someone's watching you".

2) My feet are so big that when I have to cut my toenails I need to soak them in the tub first because they're hard like tortoise shells.

3) Family Highlights Magazine always made me sick. Especially that wooden family.

4) I need to buy some more underwear. This time, I'm only buying black briefs.

5) I hope my dog lives for a long time. He's 10 now and he's really starting to look old.

6) I'd love to have a goat for a pet if I didn't have to take care for it and it didn't smell.

7) When I was about 17 my mom told me that my tongue was connected to the bottom of my mouth when I was born so it had to be snipped. You would never know by looking at me but it still makes me wonder if I'm technically a freak.

8) I haven't shot a bow and arrow since I was younger but I'd love to take it up again someday.

9) My doctor is holding me ransom by not giving me my adderal until I get a physical. Is that ethical? Or even legal?

10) At least 10 people have said to me in the last year, "Wow, you're really getting grey." It doesn't bother me but isn't that like telling a chick her ass is getting fat?

11) When I was a kid, I was really into the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot and all that stuff.

12) I've been thinking a lot lately about how my son will be going to college in two years. And I can't imagine what it will be like without him here all the time.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Tenacious D and Special Thing With Lee

As you know, I'm the ultimate Tenacious D fan. Here's Tenacious D doing "Special Thing" when they were singing with their new friend Lee.

It's before Jack Black was famous you know. Brilliant.

So what do you think? I've seen this video at least 500 times.

Any other fans out there?

Buddy Ebson Art I Saw In Long Beach Was Terrible.

Did you know Buddy Ebsen (aka Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies) was born on this day? It's true. And thinking about him just takes me back to a very special day in my life.

It was a few years ago and I was at a gift show for work in Long Beach California. As I turned the corner of the trade show - there it was. His crappy, crappy art.

I remember stopping in my tracks. Then seeing that Buddy Ebsen was the artist I was a bit shocked. What. The. Hell? Then I did one of those single exhale laughs. I looked to the left then right with a smile wondering if anyone else was seeing this too.

The woman working the booth approached me, "I bet you know Buddy Ebsen from the Beverly Hillbillies but did you know he's also an accomplished folk artist?"

You've got to be kidding.

The other great thing about the trade show was that they had some of the real munchkins from the Wizard of Oz there dressed in their outfits. The mayor had to be escorted to the bathroom because he was like 90 years old. It was kind of sad.

What stories would you like to share about seeing someones art (including acting, music and dancing) that was so bad that you had to laugh while they stood there proudly waiting for your approval?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sham Wow and the Cock Shot. Hysterical Video.

The blogger Skyler's Dad is the best at finding the most hysterical videos.

To see one that will make you fall off your chair laughing, check out the spoof of the Sham Wow It's called the Cock Shot. To view it, click here.

Bulls on Valley Creek Road In PA, Foxy English Blogger And Other Stuff.

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Just a few various things:

- The picture above shows two bulls. I took the picture on Valley Creek Road near West Chester. I made it black and white to show you how artsy I can be. I wonder what those bulls are thinking about? I took this picture recently when I was with my son. We called to the bulls to approach us but they just looked at us.

- You think I'm an important blogger because I have 204 followers? Well look at Vodka Mom with 674 followers as of this moment. And she's so great that she gave little ole' me not only a shout out but a huge temporary picture and link on her side bar. I guess I AM more important than I thought. AND she claims to give BJ's on her porch!

- I like Twitter better than I thought because I can just write random thoughts. Look on my sidebar at some of the crazy things I wrote so far. I wonder what I'm going to come up with next. Click "follow me on Twitter" if you dare. As a reminder these gems will soon be available only through Twitter and not visible on my blog.

- One of the blogs I've been reading lately is called A World So Small by Girl Interupted. Talk about a great sense of humour (note UK spelling)! She's hysterical! She's Dr Zibbs endorsed! I'd love to meet her. I'd like to kiss her on the lips.

- I'd like to also thank Jeannie for all of her recent comments. And also Shawn. Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate the comments from all of you bloggers.

Except for that one person.