The Time Something Terrible (Funny) Happened To My Sister

I find nothing funnier than when things are going great for people then all of a sudden disaster strikes.

Well not like tornadoes or death or anything but things like the story I'll now tell you that my sister told me.

A little background. My sister at the time had three kids. Ages 5, 4 and zero. And she was kind of paranoid about going out at the time with all three because it was such a big ordeal. So the idea of bringing the three of them to the park AND the 4 year old's friend was a major thing for her. This is how she told the story to me:

So I can't believe how great things were going. The boys were being so good, and the baby wasn't crying and I'm thinking this is such a great day. I was really proud of myself. Then all of a sudden Billy Bob's* friend says "Mrs Renard** I have to go potty."

And Jimmy, I'm like, "Oh no. Not now!" And I look in the distance and at the far end of the park there's a porta potty. So I gather up all our stuff and we make our way over there. Billy Bob's friend is saying, "I really have to go Mrs Renard."

And I'm trying to stay calm. Well we get over there and believe it or not it's a brand new porta potty. It had never been used. Totally clean. So the kid goes in, he says, "I can do it myself."

And I just give a sigh of relief.

Well about 30 seconds later I hear a panic in the kid's voice saying, "Mrs Renard,I need help!"

Well Jimmy, I opened the door....and there's shit EVERYWHERE! All over the wall, on the toilet, on the floor, all over him and his clothes. It was like someone had filled up a bag of shit and hit it like a PINATA!!!

So I'm trying to stay calm but his clothes are covered with shit so I had to undress him and wrap him in the baby's blanket and we made our way back to the car.

HAHAHA! A Pinata! God. I love that story. So glad it didn't happend to me.

And if you're a fan of explosive diarreah stories you'd LOVE this one: Clicky here

*fake name
**Also a fake name

Bates Motel, Spook Houses In Chester County PA. Scary.

So it's Halloween month. And I'll tell you what I'll be doing - going to the Bates Motel Haunted Hayride. If you live anywhere near Chester County Pa you should check this place out.

I've always loved spook houses and haunted hayrides but to tell you the truth, most are pretty lame. A few year back they had this one attraction that was so horrifying that you're not going to believe it.

You come through the woods and there's a guy that's had his arms chained to a tree stump. He's screaming for help. So of course a maniac comes out of nowhere with a chainsaw and approaches him. He's screaming his lungs off as the chainsaw maniac "cuts off" his arms. Now the kicker is...

..GET READY...HERE IT COMES....

They used a real amputee to play the guy that was having his arms cut off! So he's screaming then he runs up to us screaming, "MY ARMS! HE CUT OFF MY ARMS!..GIVE ME "YOUR" ARMS"! as he's shoving his bloody stumps in the faces of people.

Let me tell you that it was not only frightening but also really disturbing. AND, since I have a phobia of amputees (and sometimes retarded people if they approach me) I have to admit I was pretty scared.

I wonder how many were scarred for life?