Did Doctor Do Something Wrong When Allowing Me To Swab For Flu?

So I finally got out of the house on Sunday after being sick. My wife and I were having breakfast and we're talking about the swab test for the Swine Flu and I told her how it was weird putting the swab up my nose.

Wife: YOU swabbed yourself? The DOCTOR is supposed to do that.

Me: She is?

Wife: Yeah. Don't you think it's weird that she had YOU do it? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!

My wife had gone online and had researched the whole swab procudure which is pretty detailed. The method I did was basically put the swab a bit up my nose and wiggle it.

So when the office called last Tuesday night and said the test was negative, I questioned it?

"How can I NOT have the Swine flu? I just got the regular flu shot 2 weeks ago so it can't be that. AND I'm sicker than I've been in my adult life."

They said that the test results often come back negative but "You probably have the Swine flu."

You think so?

I'm pretty glad they didn't have to shove the huge swab in my nose and to the back of my throat but it makes me concerned as to whether my doctor is competant. (It was actually my substitute doctor as my regular doctor was out with the flu).

To see how you're supposed to be swabbed click here.

Does Anyone Know What The Doctor Meant? Ohio.

So I had to get a physical yesterday and before the unpleasant finger in the butt to check for colon cancer (which I don't have), the Doctor said,

"Now since I'm from Ohio I'm going to have you roll on your side"...

I have no idea what she meant. Do you?

Maybe I was supposed to ask her what that meant and then there was a punchline to add some levity to the violation that was about to take place.

Seriously, what does that mean? Do most other States make you get on all fours?

Does North Dakota make you stand against a wall?

Does Oregon make you stand on one leg and hold the other leg behind your back and then you're instructed to KICK upon insertion?

I don't understand.