Breaking News: Tallest Woman Will Take Interesting Questions To Grave
August 13, 2008
It's official Sandy Allen, the 7'7" Indiana giant is dead. What makes this especially difficult for me is that Sandy visited the Downingtown Farmer's Market around 1975 and I didn't get to meet her. Why? Because my parents sheltered me from the Downingtown Farmers Market until I was a teenager. My friend Craig however, whose parents probably didn't love him as much, let him go to gawk at Sandy Allen.
Can you just imagine how my life and probably the nation's future would have been different if I was able to view this special gentle giant lady in person ? - at a safe distance from her cage mind ye'.
I've imagined the day in my head many times. Instead of asking the stupid, "How's the weather up there?", I would asked unique questions like:
- "Did you ever meet the fattest twins? Do they have to put more air in their mini bike tires like every five minutes?"
- "Did you ever swat down a plane?"
- "Can you put your hands up like this?..Yup, that's what I thought."
- "Do you get a discount on each new addition of the Guinness Book of World Records? And can you believe that guy with the curly fingernails? "
- "Did Andre' the Giant ever send you flowers, but instead of flowers, he sent a bouquet of trees?"
The world will never know these answers. Good bye Sandy.
A) "Hi, I'm Sandy. I'm tall. This is my friend Sid. He sells carpeting and is handing me an empty box that's been gussied up to look like a present. I wish it actually concealed treats. I'm tall."
B) "My name is Bao Xishun. I the tall one.This little rascal I think is a boy, a man or a monkey man. He be put next to me to make me look taller but it do not matter because I am tall for real. Please choose 'B' to keep my family out of danger." 
C) "I'm the real tall one. Look, I'm walking next to a regular sized person."
