Tuesday, August 5, 2008

West Chester PA Blogger Considers Testing Out A Skull Topped Walking Stick


OK. If you asked people that know me what I'm like, many would say conservative, rich, nice smelling, groovy. Not many would say "a walking stick type of guy". Well guess what? I don't care. Reason? Check out the walking stick above. The red one. Not the plain, middle America, stupid silver one. I just it at saw at RentCostumes.com. Can you imagine me strutting down the halls of That Blue Yak Enterprises with my bad ass "walking stick skull red"?

It may seem stupid to uncool people. They just don't get it. But for those who get it, imagine when someone asks. "Dr Zibbs, are you able to help me locate the bus stop?"

In the days of old, I would have wasted "potential cool building time" pointing my finger - like any square commoner. Not anymore. In 3 - 6 weeks when Walking Stick Skull Red arrives (aka: Skully), I'll pause, then simply look at the person, tap the tip on the ground, raise an eyebrow with bus stop knowing knowledge and give a wide double twirl and say, "Over there my friend, over there." (pointing Skully in the direction). I'm still working on what accent I'll have to start talking with but whatever it is - you know I'll have it down pat.

I'll then cooly strut my junk down the lane. You'll see.

16 comments:

Gwen said...

I hate to spoil it for you, but that place only rents those walking sticks.

This is from their website: *PLEASE NOTE: This item is a RENTAL ITEM. You are NOT purchasing this item. Please be sure you have read and understand our Rental Policy before ordering this item. Thank you.

Maybe you can find another one that's for sale, because I agree, you would be cool.

Some Guy said...

This accessory will take you from cool to kool, which is way cooler.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen: I'm aware of that. I usually have things sent to my neighbor's address under the name I.P.Freely. Then I just swipe the packages when they arive.
Some guy: You mean I will go from cool to koooler (note the "K and the extra "O" which stands for "our of this world").

Falwless said...

I'm not trying to upset you, but I found a better one.

This way it's like, all, "oooh scary!" but also like "haha! just kidding! Look! A jester! LOL!!"

You know what I mean? Win-win.

Gwen said...

Doc Z: Brilliant plan.

Whiskeymarie said...

Might I suggest the ever-popular "Vague European accent" so popular with the kids these days. This will allow you the freedom to be a little more "French guy with a red skull walking stick" one day, then "Austrian royalty with a red skull walking stick" the next.

I think it would give you the creative freedom that a red skull walking stick demands.

John Young said...

Don't forget the part where you throw your cane up in the air, catch it on the shaft, and then spin it around twice parallel to the long axis of the shaft, like this canonical walking stick guy.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey M: Very good point. I was going to make up a country that ended in either "Garia" or "Vania". I think the vagueness of the accent will work perfectly because I can throw some slavic accents in as well.
John: I've been practicing that move as well as others with a broom stick for about a month so I'd be prepared when Skully arrives. Thanks for caring.

Anonymous said...

I can give you mine if you like. It comes with matching skull sunglasses.

Side note:

At the Anonymous household, we refer to the "walking stick" as the "Red Cane of Pain"

ÄsK AliCë said...

Are you purchasing a top hat to go with the walking stick? That would be the epitome of fashionable

enc said...

I can't wait to see this stick.

That sounded weird.

the indefatigable mjenks said...

You should send Skully back when you get it. Instead of renting something like this, you should obviously be looking into the purchase of a cane made from the penis of a bull.

I think it's actually called a peckerwood cane or some such.

Mo said...

Aw, schnap. I totally need one of these to make my Missouri debut in style.

Rider said...

Might I suggest pig Latin in a Kiwi/Irish brogue?

Grant Miller said...

Walking sticks and canes were all the rage this Prom season. Shit you, I do not.

Chris said...

Can't you get one that draws out a hidden sword or shoots a bullet or something? That would be mega-awesome!

Note to self: Don't ever use the word megaawesome again, you douche.