Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Today Is Inventor's Day And I've Got Another Invention! Birds.

Tis' true. Today, September 29 is Inventor's Day. It's celebrated in Argentina and it's on the same day as the birthday of the inventor of the ballpoint pen.

Well move over Laszlo Hoszsef Biro (inventor of the ballpoint pen) because I will now unveil by invention for solving our planet's energy problems.

I give you:

...wait for it

...a little more

"The Dr Zibbs Energy Birds"

OK. It looks just like the drinking bird * that my sister Joan had when she was a kid but my DR ZIBBS ENERGY BIRDS will be fifty feet high and they'll be branded with the prestigious Dr Zibbs name.

Now I don't know how these drinking birds drink - I mean - who really does - but they do work. I've seen them doin' their stuff in person. So why not make them 50 feet high and line our streets with them? Of course you have to hook their up and down movement to something to capture all of their up and down drinking energy. What are they called?.. generators or something? ..You know what I mean...they "capture" energy then they....put it in that...in that thing.. You know. The thing that holds energy until me and you are ready to use the energy.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. It's that thing.

So there you go. Does anyone really see a down side? I can't think of one.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go daydream about being in a parade that will soon me held in my honor as appreciation for my invention.

*practices waving and throwing hard candy to the crowds*

P.S. If anyone would like to leak this story to the press, I'd like my official title to be: "Dr Zibbs -the Eli Whitney of Drinking Bird Technology".

*I think my parents gave us toys like this in an attempt to trick us into Science. It didn't really work.


ChesterCo_PA said...

I think DrZibbs has been drinking that "energy" drink already. By the way, your bird has one nasty hemorrhoid.

Dr Zibbs said...

I will take that as a "Thank you"

Unknown said...

Dr Zibbs...I would like to congratulate you on solving what is wrong with America today.

We have nothing to rally around and get excited about..like Moon landings or KISS

You're onto a winner. I can feel it

A 50 Ft drinking bird on every Main St across America, by 2012

That ought to get us to forget all about that "End Of The World 12-21-2012" nonsense.

Peace -Rene

Trooper Thorn said...

Dr. Zibbs is actually much smarter than he lets on. That is pretty close to being a "perpetual energy" machine. The existing models only work with a very low co-efficient of friction however, so the trick will be in developing a nearly frictionless model that high where the generating component (the turbines that translate the bobbing motion into radial power and subsequent electrical currents) also does not damp the motion.

Dr Zibbs said...

Trooper - thanks for making it clear to people that I'm not a dummy.

Dr Zibbs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr Zibbs said...

...or is it Dummie with an "ie"

No. I'm pretty sure it's dummy.

J.J. in L.A. said...

My parents gave me Operation (the game) for Christmas one year because "Well, you have operations." Epic. Fail.

Dr Zibbs said...

JJ - Please give me their phone number privately so I can call them for a verbal thrashing.

WendyB said...

I want more 50-foot tall knick-knacks. There are not enough of those.

Son of a Thomas said...

Instead of building 50 ft birds, why don't you siphon off some of the energy from the birds your using to walk around with the deaf.

Just sayin.

Dominica said...

Any chance you puttin' that bird into a contest so we can win it ?
At all ?

The Jules said...

Like reading the mind of Thomas Edison himself that post.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't a BJ on every corner accomplish the same thing?

Dr Zibbs said...

The Jules - Dots a good von.