Help Me Build The Zibbswich Sammie! Pork Shoulder Sandwich Creation.

If you follow me on Twitter @DrZibbs you might recall that I started to develop a sandwich that I'll be calling the Zibbswich. The early prototype was just OK so here's an updated potential list of ingredients. Feel free to let me know any ingredients that you would add, delete or substitute.

OK. Here we go....

Pork shoulder smoked on grill or slow roasted.
Roll (A seeded one)
Garlic, mushrooms and shallots (saute in oil then deglaze with white wine).
Long hots.
Cheese (but sharp provolone is always used on pork so I think I want something gooey. Any suggestions?)

And the secret ingredient is: ROASTED RED PEPPER SAUCE.

And I'm thinking of adding coleslaw but I don't think that would work.

I might also try a variation where I don't add the roasted red pepper sauce but I had really spicy baked beans to the top. I'm note sure if I've ever seen baked beans on a sandwich. 

Leclerc Celebration Modified With Peanut Butter. West Chester Invention. Canada.

Did you guys ever hear of Leclerc's Celebration cookies? I think my mom dropped them off at my house. At first I thought they were some crappy dollar store cookie but then I tried one and they are TASTY!!

They're Canadian butter cookies with some fancy ass castle in milk chocolate on top. And what I did was modify them by adding peanut butter to the top like so.....

I'm like the Edison of Canadian cookies!!

Today Is Inventor's Day And I've Got Another Invention! Birds.

Tis' true. Today, September 29 is Inventor's Day. It's celebrated in Argentina and it's on the same day as the birthday of the inventor of the ballpoint pen.

Well move over Laszlo Hoszsef Biro (inventor of the ballpoint pen) because I will now unveil by invention for solving our planet's energy problems.

I give you:



...wait for it




...a little more



"The Dr Zibbs Energy Birds"

OK. It looks just like the drinking bird * that my sister Joan had when she was a kid but my DR ZIBBS ENERGY BIRDS will be fifty feet high and they'll be branded with the prestigious Dr Zibbs name.

Now I don't know how these drinking birds drink - I mean - who really does - but they do work. I've seen them doin' their stuff in person. So why not make them 50 feet high and line our streets with them? Of course you have to hook their up and down movement to something to capture all of their up and down drinking energy. What are they called?.. generators or something? ..You know what I mean...they "capture" energy then they....put it in that...in that thing.. You know. The thing that holds energy until me and you are ready to use the energy.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. It's that thing.

So there you go. Does anyone really see a down side? I can't think of one.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go daydream about being in a parade that will soon me held in my honor as appreciation for my invention.

*practices waving and throwing hard candy to the crowds*

P.S. If anyone would like to leak this story to the press, I'd like my official title to be: "Dr Zibbs -the Eli Whitney of Drinking Bird Technology".

*I think my parents gave us toys like this in an attempt to trick us into Science. It didn't really work.

Invention Idea For My Sexy, Sweaty Under Garments. Heat Wave.

This heat sucks.

And for some reason, my sexy black underwear seems to ride up my ass worse than the tighty whities.

And I've tried to wear boxers but they don't offer the "support"...if you know what I mean.

So what's a brother to do? I don't want to be picking my ass when I'm walking down the street so I have to do a series of half kicks and turns. It's very discreet. I'm sure nobody knows what I'm doing. They're probably like, "Hey, that dude just kicked something really small then he was going to go back to his car because he forgot something but then he probably remembered he didn't forget it".

So my invention is underwear with tiny strings attached to the crack area. The strings are then looped through your pockets and then attached to small metal buttons. When your underwear rides up your ass, you simply reach into your pocket and pull on the "coins" that will pull the fabric out of your ass.

I know. It's brilliant. Now I'll need someone to draw up a licensing contract and someone else to find me a local seamstress so I can get a prototype done.

And I need some name suggestions.

Bali Bras Vs My Nipple Bra Invention. Don't Go Stealin'!

So I just saw this commercial for Bali Bras. Their line is, "for the ultimate modesty". They embroider a cute little flower patch on the inside of the bra in the nipple area so no nipple shows through. This is what I learned from the commercial.

Now as you know, I'm a nipple man.

And the Bali Bra goes totally against a bra invention I conceived about 12 years ago. It's a bra that gives you the support but has a cut out so your nipples show through. Thus making you more desirable and sexy.

I told a few gals at work about it and they all said it was a stupid idea. Something about the friction. Others said women don't want their nipples showing. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. Because a few years ago there was a chick on the The Big Idea Show and she said she walked around Vegas with toothpaste caps on her nips as a joke and she go tons of attention and then made a bra to highlight this feature. Thief.

What do you think?

(And the post from Kimmie about our historic meeting can be read here).

Thanksgiving Is Gonna Be Way Better This Year

Imagine the horror when I was flipping through the Bed, Bath and Beyond circular and I see this contraption for inserting stuffing into a turkey. It's called a stuffing cage. WHAT THE HELL? Is this is the most obscene food photo you've ever seen? Is there anyway to shove this thing inside a bird without moaning, "Ohhhhh yeahhhhhhh! Owwww. Rub some more butter on my sides - it's too BIG!"

I'll be heading to my inventor's workshop* tonight to put together prototypes for two accoutrements for this turkey cage: Mini Drumstick Cuffs and Tom Turkey Ball Gag. I said it once and I said it before, "I'm gonna be rich!"

*To see one of my other inventions, click here.

I've Got A Great Mooning Accessory I Need To Get Working On

So I'm reading my comments from the post about mooning and laughing at some of the funny things people wrote. Then I read the comment from Whiskey Marie :

"I've never mooned anyone because I have an irrational fear of strangers accidentally catching a glimpse of my butt hole in unflattering light. I wish I was lying, and I wish I could stop confessing these things to you people."

As soon as I read that it hit me. Sphincter Patch! A patch that covers the sphincter so that people that are weary of mooning can do it without worrying about others seeing their butt holes in an "unflattering light". Whatever that means. Maybe it can even come with some sort of hatch or flap so that the patch can be raised to expose the sphincter. You know - in case the person starts feeling a bit more comfortable and they want to expose their sphincter without the hassle of having to remove the entire sphincter patch garment. Holy cow! I've got an invention on my hands!

...felt.....rubberbands....stenciling materials....tinfoil....glitter.....pipe cleaners......Sorry I'm just so excited that I'm brainstorming out loud. I wonder how much a patent is?... I better go. I really need to get down to my workshop and crank out a few prototypes.

In the mean time, will someone please tell me what Whiskey Marie means by an "unflattering light?"

West Chester Blogger Invents Cool, Creepy Gift

My good blog friend Gwen had a great post the other day about the Hug Me Pillow that's offered at Overstock.com. It's a creepy half torso pillow that the ladies can snuggle up to when their man it out of town - (I hear it's also used by the fatties and butterfaces that can't bag a man so they have to settle for a freakish, soon to be tear soaked pillow). Some love is better than none I guess. But who am I to judge?

Anyways, I hate to say, "Whoops -I did it again." - but dagnabit I did. One day I'm inventing Words, Voice Motions - a popular game that's about to be in stores. And the next, I'm making up a song (100% by myself) called "Bubble Up" and the phrase "Bubble Up" is sweeping the nation too. But instead of the phrase coming from the ghetto and movie Up the chain, like, "Hi Holmes? How are you today?" OR "I think I'd prefer to get Jiggy with that thing", my Bubble Up expression has started in my multi-million dollar That Blue Yak headquarters and is moving DOWN the chain. Go figure!

Well, here it is. I unveil to you - "the limited edition, extra fingered Indian dude's hand Hug-A-Lot Pillow". It's pretty much like the Hug Me Pillow but with the added bonus of an Indian dude's hand that has an extra finger on it. I'm also thinking about perfuming the hand with that cologne that Indian people use. So it's authentic and all.

The name is a bit wordy so I'm going to give my readers the opportunity to name the product. Please free to suggest tag lines as well. The winner will receive a Zagnut bar.

Satarical Post About Ice From New Blogger Wins Ribbon

Here's a post I read that is cracking me up. The name of the blog is called Untitled Blogger Project. It seems he's a friend of Falwless's. Even though it's from a new blogger and his name is, Words, Words, Words (A bit fishy as it sounds almost identical to the game I invented that's sweeping the land (Words, Voice, Motions), I'm gonna give this guy the Dr. Zibbs "Wigglin' Uvula Ribbon". It's a new award I just invented that's a blue ribbon that says, "Wigglin' Uvula Ribbon" and there's a cartoon monkey on it laughing and laugh sweat is shooting out all around him. If you saw it, you'd be like, "What's that monkey laughing at?"

Anyway, here's the post. It's called: Cold as Ice (but has absolutely nothing to do with Foreigner).