Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Are You Undateable? Do This Stuff If You Don't Want To Get Laid.

I was reading through this book the other day at the bookstore called Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex .

It's basically a book of 311 things that guys shouldn't do, say or wear. Some of the things include:
- wearing socks with sandals.
- wearing a fanny pack.
- wearing a tie with a short sleeve shirt.

Things like that. The only thing that I may be guilty of on the list is having a pair of pleated pants. I think have have a pair put I don't wear them anymore.

Wow. One thing out of 311. I guess that makes me *looks in full length mirror and turns* very, very dateable.

And on a side note, the book is written to be funny. It was in the humor section. I was surprised to see the ridiculous comments on left on Amazon (see link above).

So what things do you think a guy (or lady) should never ever wear or do or say that makes them look like a fool?


MJenks said...

Peacock feathers.

Dr Zibbs said...

MJenks - in a hat or worn as a man broach?

Jennifer Louise said...

Wifebeaters are a turnoff. For me anyway.

There's always unanswered questions whenever a guy I'm dating wears one. (Unanswered because I never end up asking).

Jessica said...

Bathing in offensive cologne/perfume.

Dr Zibbs said...

Jen - good one

Jessica - Yeah that's pretty bad.

Jennifer Louise said...

Yes for the cologne too! Yick!

Maybe sandals too.

Peggy said...

This just seemed oh so appropriate..., you will never get back the 4 minutes you spend of your life watching this video.

Anonymous said...

I heard about that book and I agree with a lot of it. One thing that could be a deal-breaker for dating someone? A pinky ring. They're a bit creepy to me. Hubz wears one, but I try to overlook it.Depending on the person wearing it, it could scream 'douche'.

Cora said...

How about shouting stupid things? One time (before I got engaged) I was picking my kid up at school and some random moron suddenly hollered "NO RING!" at me and pointed at my bare left hand and then asked me out.

No freaking way, buddy!

No. Freaking. Way.

MJenks said...

Either way (hat or broach).

However, I might give a pass to a cloak woven of peacock feathers.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

This is a very personal thing for me: drinking "light" beer.

Having dated/socialized or observed from the perspective of a bartender MANY men, the ones whose behavior/personalities I found least attractive were slamming the Natty Lites.

Dr Zibbs said...

Peggy - I've seen that!

Madtexter - pinky rings was one of the things.

Cora - you didn't fall for that line?

MJenks - well of course.

Madwoman - Agreed. Light beer is stupid.

Debbie said...

This little box for comments isn't big enough to list all the things that people do that make them look like a fool. Spend 5 minutes at any Walmart and you'll have a long list.

Johnson said...

Toques in summer, Ed Hardy, indoor scarves, sunglasses on the sub way...too...many...Here. Just go here:

And also pedophilia. Big turn off.

For women: Don't talk too much. Show your boobs. Done.

diane said...

When I first saw the picture and read the title of your post I thought it said "Undefeatable", and I thought you were posting cool kung fu stuff.
Why exactly do you still own those pants?

Dr Zibbs said...

Johnson - you're smart.

Diane - I don't know why I still own those pants. I'll go get rid of them now.

Mom said...

Can you believe I saw a waxed/curled mustache the other day. I damn near shrieked "GROSS!" at the dude wearing it. ~freak out~

Gwen said...

Before our third date this one guy called and told me he had to cancel because he had cellulitis.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he told me it was near his junk.

If you find yourself in this situation, lie. Tell the other person your job sent you out of town suddenly.

Scope said...

Having "The Rose" as your ringtone.

Avitable said...

Nothing makes you undateable. I'm a man with blue sparkly toenails whose bedroom has action figures and Muppets in it, and my social calendar has been booked.

Kate said...

Men who drive Corvettes. Bleck.
Socks with sandals, number one, for sure.

AK said...

Never talk about how hot that chick look who is sitting next to you..

Dr Zibbs said...

AK - True.

Gage1 said...

sadly Avitable is probably right.

Men always seem to find someone to "date" (I'm assuming date really means bang). I suppose it has something to do with the fact men are raised to expect there will always be someone who wants them whereas women are raised with a kind of desperate panic over men NOT wanting them.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gage - you guys might be right. There is someone for everybody.

But the book is pretty good if you're trying not to look like a nerd or a freak.

Karen Law said...

Hey! Just came across your blog! Interesting post.
Yeah, you'll find people trying to knock down anything they can - even if it's clearly a book written rather in a sarcastic manner. Maybe the critics are so upset b/c they haven't gotten laid! LOL (jk jk).
Hmmm.....well, it's really what people say and how they carry themselves that matters most to me. I don't think pleated pants are that bad - it's not like it's dramatically pleated right?! LOL. Just don't tuck in your shirt super tight...yeah I don't get the socks and sandal thing. I wear sandals to have my feet exposed. Plus, how can you grip your sandals with socks on anyways? Hmmm....

Dr Zibbs said...

Karen - thanks for visiting my blog. I just checked out yours.

And I believe what you say about the critics.

Never. Been. Laid.

Whiskeymarie said...

-Dad jeans

-thongs (I can't even imagine what would possess a man to wear these. Back in the day when I occasionally had piss-poor judgment, I had the unfortunate luck to not discover this about my date until it was way too late to turn back. It was too bad actually- he was a good lay and if it weren't for the unders we may have gone out/stayed in again.)

-Golf clothes when you didn't play that day

-Golf clothes even if you did play that day


-T-shirts implying that you'd like to have sex with pretty much anyone's Mother. Or Sister. Or Grandma.

-Anything with pit stains.

-Short shorts, short (or shortish) denim cutoffs)

-Denim cutoffs, any length.

-Black socks with shorts

-Squirrels as toupees.