Thursday, March 8, 2012

New Chester County Author Shares Book Exerpt.

...After she checked into the Arizona hotel room she changed into her suit. A yellow number with a black stripe. One day of hair leg growth wasn't going to stop this girl from jumping into that God damn pool.

She ran down the hall into the elevator. Like a school girl. Clutching her towel. She pranced to the pool and came to a sudden stop. This can't be. She stood clutching her Lady Taz towel in horror looking at the pool. No. The coldness of a Pennsylvania March ran through her.

She watched as a half feathered duck fought with a deflated intertube. "Quack quack quack!"

The water was too murky to reflect the tears that were building in her eyes. First they tell me that the lazy river was closed. Now this. Standing in a daze the slowly swirling, sewerish water combined with the pool pump hypnotizes her. Taunting her. The skull of a raccoon floats by. It has a few bandaids stuck to it.

The bandaids are holding a clump of hair to the skull. She pulls the hair off and it hits her. Her mind flashes back to the two hobos that she saw fighting earlier downtown. One had pulled the hair of the other. But what were they fighting about?

She thought long and hard. The banana stickers. That's it! The bigger hobo - Zeke - had a collection of stickers that he had pulled from various bananas and had stuck them to a piece of driftwood. He called it his banana sticker collection!

"This is a vital piece of important information that I need to solve a crime even though I'm here in Arizona for an Insurance convention and I have no background whatsoever in solving crimes!"

End of chapter

Hol-eeey shit I'm a writer! Did you guys read that!!!! Man this literature stuff is intense! Can you feel it? You can? Pretty easy too if you ask me. Not sure what all the fuss is about. Alright I'll tell you when the whole thing is done. Should probably take a few hours. Then it's simply sending it to a few publishers, sit back and prepare for the bidding war. Woo baby!

(Novel based on real life events inspired by @AMK195's business trip. She will be receiving a royalty of .002 % and I'm allowing her to appear on some of the local talk shows.)


Dr Zibbs said...

Man this is at least TEN times better than Moby Dick!

Alice (aka AMK195) said...

ROFL!! I can't WAIT for the talk show circuit!! No one ever lets me go on TV!

sybil law said...

DEFINITELY better than Moby Dick!

Dr Zibbs said...

Alice don't go all hollywood on me now

Alice (AMK195) said...

Hollywood?? I'm talking about WORLD DOMINATION! Let's do this. One closed waterslide at a time.

Dr Zibbs said...

Alice - I'm going to start with having Wally Kennedy interiew you first.