Wednesday, March 14, 2012

True Story Of My High School Typing Teacher. Great Lovers.

See that woman above? It's Mrs Ritchie. My high school typing teacher. Yes....we had typing class in high school. It was right after my Intro to Telegraph and right before Butter Churning.

And the dude below is Remo*. Let me just set the stage. Mrs Ritchie was tough as balls and said what was on her mind. Remo was a dude from Italy that appeared in our school in 10th grade and thought he was hot shit. He thought he was God's gift to women. I swear that in the yearbook he wrote:

Good Looking, "Stud", Hopes to become a great gigalo, Soccer 10.

I'm not shitting you.

So he comes into typing class one day and has a huge hickey on his neck.....

Mrs Ritchie: (Approaches Remo) Remo what the hell is on your neck?

Remo: (In thick Italian accent) It's a hickey. I am a great lover!

Mrs Ritchie: Great lover? You're not a great lover.

Remo: (Can't believe she just said that) No! I AM a great lover.

Mrs Ritchie: (Casually) Nope. Great lovers don't leave hickeys. You're no great lover.


Mrs Ritchie: Naaa. You just THINK you're a great lover.


Mrs Ritchie: Nope. I'm afraid you're wrong on that one. OK everyone turn their workbooks to page 23.

I thought he was going to punch her in the face or say, "I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU HERE AND NOW!! YOU'VE DISRESPECTED ME IN FRONT OF THIS CLASSROOM OF MY PEERS!"

Could you imagine that conversation going on today. There'd be a friggin' lawsuit.

*And for the record "Charles F Linder" is the person in the picture ABOVE Remo.


Dr Zibbs said...

And look at the hair on Mrs Ritchie. You just want to go, "Boing, boing, boing, boing..." as you pat it with your hands.

Am I right? Hmmm?

sybil law said...

What the ?! No picture of the Stud? Geez.
We had typing in school, too. I didn't take it. I took yet another English elective instead. Which is why I have such great typing skillz. (Actually, I type way fast, but I don't do it the right way, I'm sure.)

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil - no the picture there IS Remo the stud!

Dr Zibbs said...

...bad wording on my part.

3DLush said...

LMAO, possibly may be better than the hotdog AND Van Der Beek... Why do I wish you wrote that he stood up in his high tight bell bottoms and flung the desk against the wall and grabbed 'ol teach in a passionate embrace?? "There, call me LUVVAH"

Dr Zibbs said...

3D - Yeah I should have taunted him into doing it.

Scope said...

When Mrs. Ritche zinged him, did you hit carriage return, so it made the "DING!" sound?

And I took a "Personal Typing" class for a semester in high school, too.

Radioactive Tori said...

I am old enough that I took typing too. Nothing exciting ever happened in my class though, I'm kind of jealous. My class was so boring!

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope - good one.

R Girl - yeah I don't think they have typing anymore.

Whiskeymarie said...

I kind of thought this story was going to go in a different direction- like, Myra & Remo gettin' it on. I'm very grateful it didn't- it would be hard to get that image out of my head. Yukko.
I also had typing.
We are old.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey M - You love the name Myra don't you?

Jill said...

Wait but if he HAD the hickey, that means he didn't leave it. Someone else did. So she really has no idea if he's a great lover or not. According to her theory, only the mystery hickey leaver is not a good lover.

Dr Zibbs said...

Jill - good point. I guess she was assuming that he gave the girl a hickey too.

Val C. said...

Ha... I remember Remo! (Sorry, but I DID always think he was good looking! ...although I knew nothing about him). I also remember Mrs. Ritchie. She was my typing teacher and she was awesome! Wonderful, caring, smart, lady! I've always said 'typing' was the most important (useful) class I ever took in high school.

Val C. said...

"It was right after my Intro to Telegraph and right before Butter Churning." <-- that was hilarious by the way

Dr Zibbs said...

Val C - HAHA! I'm guessing you saw my post on the WC page. Friend me on FB. Jim Zibbs.(We probably know each other. That's my fake name)