Elephant Woman Beauty Secrets. Nice Sack.

You always see the elephant men wearing burlap potato sackish bags to cover their horrifying faces but I can't for the life of me recall ever even seeing an elephant woman.

I wonder if this this ever happens in elephant woman households to help with their self esteem:

Mom: Ellie, how are you feeling today? Any better?

Ellie: I hate school. I feel like a freak.

Mom: Well I got something for you. (Pulls out fabric swatch book and sits on corner of bed). It's a book filled with pretty swatches. I thought we could look through the book and pick out a nice pattern for your burlap sack. Perhaps one with a cherry pattern? That would be cute - don't you think?

Ellie: You're the best mom! (starts to take sack off of head).

Mom: (covers eyes and looks away). ELLIE.THE SACK. PUT THE SACK BACK ON! Thank you.

Labs, PA Snow, Elephant Man, and Mirrors.

Here's a picture* of my Golden Lab (alias Parcheezi for security purposes) trying to pull a huge frozen stick out of the snow. Look at him go. Sadly, he failed because it was frozen solid into the ground.

And if you look at the bottom of the picture...what the hell? Is that the shadow of my head? Oh my God! What's going on there? It's all mis-shapen and what not.

Oh no. I hope I'm really not an elephant man or something but when I look in the mirror I see a normal looking person.

I better go check.

*To be honest - this picture is from last year.