What Does Make A Good Party? Oh I'll Tell You.

Here's a video that will help you to plan a swell party.

And note some of the things to listen for:

- Steve wants to have a good time.
- Make sure there are campus big wigs there.
- Don't forget the weed.
- If you don't have pencil and paper there for activities...you're a dick.
- You can't go wrong with silly hats.
- Jimmy Crack Corn sung in a deep voice is ALWAYS a winner!
- Golden showers NEVER are appropriate for parties. Use your head! Think hygiene.

Man at Exton Produce Junction Busted For Looking At Breasts.

...and that man was me.

Yesterday I was in the Produce Junction in Exton and some lady was bending over looking at flowers. You could totally see a lot of her boobage. So I took a quick peek. I was just about to move on then she bent over again so - like metal drawn to a magnet I took another quick glance.

Nothing too creepy I thought.

Then she saw me looking and quickly stood up.

I was going to say, "Do you even know who I am?"..but didn't want to embarrass her. Why do you ladies even wear stuff and expose the boobs to us if you don't want us to look? Jesus.

So do you like when we take a look or not? Let's just settle this once and for all. Is there a proper amount of time to look? Should we not smile, nod our heads, put hands on hips, swirl head around and say, "Oh you got it goin' on sister - YOU GOT.IT GOIN.OOOOOONNNNN" (snaps fingers then twirls then snaps again then does the bump twice)?

What are are the rules?

How To Decline A High Five? This Is A Question.

So the other week I was in Kildare's Irish Pub in West Chester and there was a derelict sitting at the bar. He would say something to every staff member or patron that walked by. He even caught a glimpse of me - seven bar stools down yelled, "What's up man?"

And worst of all, he'd have to high five every other person.

Unless I know the person AND something really great just happened like a touchdown or an old person slipped ice, I don't like to high five people. Is there anyway to decline a high five other than looking at their raised hand and saying,

"No thanks. I'm uh....just not as excited as you are now. Just...um...move onto the next person."

I think from now on when people try to high five me, I'm going to do the old, "Got your nose thing that you do with kids. And when they're standing there saying, "C'mon! High five man!", I'm going to calmly say, "I'm afraid I can't do that because I've got you nose."

It'll make no sense but it'll make me feel better.