Remember When Blackman On Strangers With Candy Did That Dance? Charleston Style.

Remember when Principal Blackman did that dance at the end of that episode of Strangers with Candy? No. Not from the picture above. From the end of that one episode when they dance? Yeah you do. You don't? OK here's where he got it from. I'm going to practice it (it's the fancy footwork the first dude is doing) ......



Here are some other people doing it. It's called Charleston Style. And they do work in the arm swing and leg kick of the regular Charleston that we all know. And love.

DANCE PARTY!!! Here Are Some of My Special Dance Moves. Retarded People.

If you read my blog you know that I talk about dancing a lot. I love to dance. I will now share with you the place where I've developed some of my trademark moves. And by "trademark" I mean that I stole them from some of these dancers and "trademarked" them.

Enjoy.

Bridesmaid Dresses, Dumb Books and More! Batman Water Pistol.

Some various pictures for your viewing pleasure:

*talking like a ghost* "Puuuut something innnnnn meeeeeeee."

Photographer: No! You on the left. Step back one step! Do you want these pictures to look stupid or nice?

*In Paul Lynde voice*  "I'm not sure if it's more fun to fill or squirt."

Blond dude: (after 10 minute diatribe) You see...being awesome comes down to one thing. And that one thing is accepting Jesus as your personal savior. *random football hits him in the face*

"I don't know how to tell you this so I'll just come out with it. You my dear...are going to be a STAHHHH!"

Thank God I Didn't Go On "Dancin' On Air." Kelly Ripa. Philly.

Freshman year of college I was dating this chick Ellen and she had a bunch of annoying friends that she lived with in the all girl's dorm. (Who the hell lives in the all girl's dorm?)

Anyways, a bunch of them were going to go to Philly to be on the TV show "Dancin' on Air"*. And I ALMOST went. I forget why I didn't go but THANK GOD! If me dancing on a cheesy ass TV show from the 80's ended up on Youtube I would probably have to kill myself. With my tight jeans and big ass hair...Could you imagine??

But of course my life would have been different because I probably would have met and married Kelly Ripa (see picture above).

And speaking of things that I almost did (cringe category) but didn't  - here's another one... I was in 11th grade and my sister's boyfriend and her were going to a party. Or maybe it was at a bar. I forget. Anyways, I was a huge Doors fan (now I can't even listen to them) and he said, "I can talk to the band and see if you can sing a Doors song if you want"

I was like, "Yeah OK!"

So we go to the party and the plan was that I was going to sing Roadhouse Blues. Well turns out they "couldn't fit me in" or "there's no way in hell we want some kid we don't even know singing a song". But either way thank God because it would have been a disaster! I've never sung with a band, I'm a terrible singer and I'm sure 10 seconds into it people would have been looking at me like, "What the hell is this train wreck?" And I would have turned into a deer in headlights. I really think I would have stopped halfway through and  just walked off the stage.

Phew!! That was a close one!

Oh and here's Kelly Ripa now. I wonder what our kids would have looked like? But if we did end up together I'd have to tell her to tone it down a bit because she's way too chatty.

*They were going because "Michael" knew someone that could get everyone on. Michael was this flaming gay dude that wasn't out of the closet yet. And he was a complete a-hole. His only friends were a bunch of the girls from  the girl's dorm and he was a gossipy little shit. And all of the girls would say, "I can't believe Michael doesn't have a girlfriend. He's so great!" Uh...yeah I know why. He likes dudes.

Why Don't We Just Dance? Country Style.

When I make my country music video it's going to be me stooping down feeling the dirt in my failed cornfield. I look at the dry dirt and as the wind blows it away I look toward the big city in the distance with anger. Knowing that those God damn city slickers caused this.

The image of my grand pappy appears above me. He's driving his tractor. A tear in his eye.

But until then here's a country song I like. Video is dumb but I like the message.

Vid-e-o dedi-caaaaaaay-tion!

(And sorry in advance if you have to view a short ad first)

Incident That Happened At The Brickette Lounge. Westtown.

This past weekend I went to The Brickette Lounge to hear some good ole' fashion Country music - YEEEEEEE HAWWWWW! *does that dance where he puts hands on hips and starts kicking his legs from side to side*

The place has been around for ages. Back in the day if you went there and you weren't wearing "country clothes" you stuck out like a sore thumb. Nowadays though, there's a mixed crowd. There were country folk AND city slickers. College kids AND some people in their 70's. I wore a sweater and didn't feel weird or NOTHIN'!

Anyways, the first slow song comes on - "Crazy" - and I see this old timer get up and start walking toward the dance floor. He's about 75 and has a beard. Wearing a cowboy hat, vest, cowboy shirt, boots...the whole deal.

And I'm thinking, "Who is he looking for? He's been sitting by himself the whole time?"

And he's looking around. Oh my God! He's looking for someone to ask to dance! And it wasn't that crowded yet so the only single women left are a group of three college girls. And so he sloooowly walks toward them. Little tiny steps. And I started feeling really sad for him. I bet his wife died and he used to go there all the time and he just wanted to relive a memory of dancing with someone and pretend it's her. I don't want to make you cry but I bet her name was Millie. Sweet old Millie.

So he taps her on the shoulder and asks her..... And she said yes!! So they got up and slow danced! Cheek to cheek! And she was good looking too! Not some slob that was thinking, "OK. Any port in the storm.*"

And she didn't even look over at her friends like it was a goof. My faith in humanity is slightly restored.

*And chicks do that just so you know. A few years ago these herd of young fatties walked into the Square Bar in West Chester. All dolled up and shit. And started flirting with the biggest lowlife dudes that were 20 years older. The herd leader was probably like, "OK let's face it. We haven't been laid in like 10 months. Let's just swallow our pride (and a few quarts of ice cream) and head down to the Square Bar."

Lets Dance To Earth Wind And Fire! Let's Groove. Grinding.

OK. This video is so bad but I would so grind to you on this Earth, Wind and Fire classic.

Come on. Get up and pretend we're dancing...that's it. Shake it! There you go.

You're doing it! ...OK. Good. Get up against the couch in a submissive position...Mmm Hmm. That's it.. Here I come. *I come grooving in from the side*

- end scene -

Penn State Homecoming Weekend Recap. Yippin and Yappin.

Here are some various things about my weekend at Penn State:

- If my next day counting was correct I had 22 drinks on Friday.

- Thanks to the strangers that invited us to tailgate with them. Best bratwurst ever.

- I convinced a fraternity kid to burn their float but then said, "No I don't think you should really do that."

- One can drink from 11 in the morning until 3 at night as long as you don't stop. And you pace yourself. And graze throughout the day.

- If you want to keep ownership of the hotel hot tub you need to have someone "hold down the fort" at all times. Otherwise a bunch of hairy dudes will get in and it's all over. (The idea of brushing feet with a stranger sickens me).

- I was pushed into a bush ("bushed") and didn't break a hip. And I managed to not spill my drink.

A gin bucket is a plastic pale filled with gin and lemons. The gin is then poured into your mouth with a turkey baster. If you refuse to do it you will be taunted.

- Watching a drunk friend fall off of a chair is still funny.

- Dancing: I still got it. Unveiled "The Grindarena." I need to brush up on my Mick Jagger imitation.

- Having a friend yell, "It's 3 in the morning and I'm trying to sleep and all I hear is your yippin' and your yappin'! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! isn't funny to the person saying it but it's hysterical to the people getting yelled at.

And much more.....

It's Been Too Long. Lawrence Welk. Love Will Keep Us..

Fuck this shit!

I haven't played any Lawrence Welk in ages on this here blog. This is for you Gage. Ladies and Gentleman...Love Will Keep Us Together*:



*I'm too lazy to look but I MAY have played this video before.

Brick House Responsible For New Baby. Car Dancing Issue

If you follow me on Twitter you know that I do a lot of car dancing.

I can't helps myself I tells ya!!

And sometimes it gets super sexy. Like when Brick House came on the other week..and I started going at it. How do I put this? Alright. I'll just come out with it. MY STEERING WHEEL IS PREGNANT!

It was totally unplanned so please...no gifts. We're not keeping it.

And this is the song that I hold responsible:

Al Green Getting It Done. Tired Of Being Alone.

I wish we were dancing to this song. All grindy...gettin' all into it.

No not you! Move over...

You. Yeah you.

Bad Bad REALLY Bad Leroy Brown. Welk Style.

Hey it's Friday everyone! Let's get rockin' with Bad, Bad Leroy Brown from the Lawrence Welk Show.

Wouldn't it be great if the skeleton of Jim Croce appeared from behind the bandstand and killed everyone on the set?

And the BEST part of this video is Mr Lawrence Welk himself. Look at him throughout the video. He's totally getting into it!! He can't control himself!

Toni Marie Terrano, Michelle Sutlovich, Fame and Stairway to Stardom.

I mentioned in the comments the other day about how I used to run in front of the TV when my sister was watching it and start dancing to the theme of the show Fame. Just to be annoying. "Get out of the way! I'm watching this"...as I flailed arms and legs.

So Gage says, "was it like this?"..and leaves a clip to one of the best videos I've ever seen. It's a chick dancing to the theme of Fame. Here it is:



Do you believe that???

It's from a show called Stairway To Stardom. I've never even heard of that show! We had a similar show in the Philly area called the Al Alberts show but instead of untalented adults singing and dancing it was only kids. I'm such a fan of no talents singing and dancing with terrible production. It looks like she's performing in front of an elevator.

Here's another one from that show. It's a little lady named Toni Marie Terrano. Make sure to look for the under the leg clap at 1:43. And how old do you think she is? It's very hard to tell.



And if you want to see an artist rendering of Toni Marie Terrano click here. Move over Mona Lisa.

Always And Forever. Each Moment With You. Prom Night.

Always and forever
Each moment with you
Is just like a dream to me
That somehow came true, yeah

Greasers Dancing In Yoyogi Park. Trying To Dance That Is.

Some people have asked, "Where do you find these video?"

Usually I just put various keywords into Youtube and I see what they got. Here's what you get when you put in the word "greasers"

Where did these guys learn these awkward dance moves? You'd think maybe they watched Grease or something and tried to imitate it but I have no idea where these moves came from.

The Devil Really Can Tap Dance. Lawrence Welk.

So I was on Gage's blog this morning and saw the most glorious video. If you're like me you won't believe your eyes. I know I've been playing a lot of Lawrence Welk videos over the last month (2) but this one takes the cake.

Check it out then read my thoughts below.



Do you believe what you just saw?? Go ahead. Take another look. Everything about this video is great. The way the devil sneaks out, then he goes into the running tap dance around 15 seconds in, the costume that is like a shorts/skirt hybrid. Just everything. Did you check out the set?

It's almost like you're waiting for someone to run on stage and yell, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?" as if the person dancing is some madman that ran in from off the street. I just love this video.

Real Live Ex Stripper Interview. Jezebel The Great.

Twitter is an interesting place. As I mentioned, I have my @DrZibbs profile and my @FatherKelly profile. On my Father Kelly profile I don't interact with people. But if it's a celeb or someone really interesting or funny I'll direct mail them and tell them that I have the Dr Zibbs account.

A few months ago I did that exact thing to Jessie - @Jezebelthegreat* is her Twitter profile. She's one of my fav people on Twitter. Just funny, interesting or smart-assy tweets.

And an on an interesting side note, she used to be an stripper. That's where lady's strip down and dance on stage. Sometimes poles are involved. They actually use the pole in their choreography! Here's an interview I conducted with the always cool Jez the Great over email.

1) What percentage of they guys really believed that the girls liked them and wanted to date them? Would the strippers laugh at how dumb some of the regulars were or did you kind of feel sorry for some of them?

See, this is where I really differ from other dancers. I was always 100% honest with my clientele if I was dating someone, and most of them respected that. I was one of VERY few women who didn't lie or give out fake phone numbers to make more money. I mean, there were some really dishonest dancers there, dancers who would make out with guys in the lapdance area while stealing the money out of their wallets. It was pretty bad.
And yeah, there were a few times that we laughed at the sheer audacity of some of the men who came in there. I once met a guy who said I needed God, invited me to church with him and then a few minutes later, told me he wanted a lapdance...but only if I'd let him "see it." Ugh.

2) So what was it like the first night dancing? Did you practice ahead of time?

I don't remember much about the actual night I started, but I CAN tell you that I wore my first stripper heels around the house for two days beforehand so I wouldn't fall once I got onstage for the first time. I also remember that I felt really, really awkward when I got there. One of the girls made her "regular customer" (a term used in the dancing biz) buy a lapdance from me and I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke (I didn't, thankfully.) Oh, and when I saw the pole for the first time I thought, "Yeah, I'm not so sure I wanna touch that thing. Hand sanitizer? Anybody? No?"

3) The stereotype is that strippers aren't smart but you're smart and hysterical. How did you get into stripping and is that stereotype true in general?

In 2002 I started dating a dancer. In the four months we dated, I went to see her a few times at her job. Her bosses and co-workers told me they needed more girls "with dark hair and big booties." Since I'd just quit my job, I considered it; plus, I'd gained too much weight and I knew dancing would be a great workout. Still, it took a few months to finally gather the courage to do it.
There are three basic stereotypes about dancers, and "being too dumb to do anything else" is one of them. I'm not going to say it IS true, because I've worked with quite a few women who are just as smart as I am (though not as funny...I'm one in a million, man), but at the same time...let's just say I could use big words around some of them and they would just cock their heads and say, "Wha...?"

4) Were there ever cat fights among the girls? And then it spilled out into a back alleyway?

Haha, "back alleyway." We had fights, of course, but most of them took place in the dressing room while someone held the door shut so the bouncers couldn't get in and break them up. I only got in one fight early on, and it happened in front of everyone in the club. After that, I didn't really have to worry about girls messing with me...especially after I started my dominatrix act. I was a little badass.

5)What percentage of clubs are girls "giving a bit extra"? If you know what I mean.

I only worked in five clubs during my dancing career, and only two of them were...lenient? on girls getting away with more than should be allowed. It was a little unnerving to try to do a lapdance when you look over and the girl next to you has some guy's dick in her hand. Yeesh.

6) What made you decide to stop dancing and what are you doing now?

I quit dancing this past June because a) I was 33 years old, I'd been dancing for seven damn years and I'd never planned on making a career out of it; and b) I'd started dating someone here in Detroit (I lived in Oklahoma) and we decided to move me here and "make an honest woman out of me," haha. He was worth quitting for; he's a great guy and he takes good care of me. I like being a nice, normal suburban housewife-type.
Also, there was no way in hell I was going to dance in Detroit. I don't have a death wish, man.

Do you have any questions for her? Ask them in the comments area.

*If you're on Twitter, follow her and tell her Zibbs sent you. She also has a blog that can be found here.

AND, I was too lazy to crop the picture that she to sent me that showed too much butt but to see another link to her click here. And I convinced her to start a blog a few weeks ago. To view that, click here and follow her.

Weird Dream About A Production of the Wizard of Oz. Dancing.

I had this really weird dream last night. There was this enormous outdoor stadium and they were holding auditions for the Wizard of Oz.

Since I used to do a goofy imitation of the Scarecrow back in the day I decided to try out for the part. I knew I could get the dancing down pat. Then I realized that I'm not the best singer. I'd have to work on that part. And it also hit me that instead of doing the goofy ass version of the Scarecrow I'd have to do a serious version.

And what about the costumes? What if my costume looked like the one above? And the whole production is second rate and cheesy? Even though for such a huge venue it couldn't be THAT bad. Right? Right?

It was too late to back out and I was getting all nervous that I was gonna look like an ass and there would me thousands of people watching me do "theater". And we all know how gay THAT can be.

So the rest of my dream was me practicing singing and dancing to, "If I only had a brain."

Pretty weird huh?

Jim Nabors Wants You To Let Him Be There. Head Shakin' groove.

Alright. You've been caught up in the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season. Don't you think it's time to take a break?

Why don't you treat yourself to this video of Jim Nabors singing, "Let Me Be There."

And really let yourself get into it. Don't be shy. OK go shut your curtains if you're afraid someone might see you.

Are you ready? Here we go.

Colbert Dancing On Strangers With Candy Is A Classic.

Does anyone else have one of my favorite shows Strangers with Candy on DVD?

One of the best shows ever. Ever I tells ya!

Here's Colbert doing one of his dances. Classic.