Do You Hate This Person Like I Do? Leave The Funny To The Pros.

It really bothers me when there's someone that's rarely funny but when they're in a meeting or in a public place where there's a bit of awkwardness to begin with, they say something that people laugh at.

The person is a bit surprised that they said something that people are laughing at so they proceed to sit up in their seat a bit, they're all smiles and they look back and forth and behind them to see who is laughing.

When they see someone laughing at what they said, they start to laugh a bit more and nod in attempt to get the person to keep laughing because they like this feeling. Some will even do the most pathetic move which is to repeat their lame punchline, then take a look around the room again.

Now. I ask that you the reader, act it out by saying this while doing the motions I mentioned above and you'll see what I mean,

"....and how is the UPS guy supposed to get in? Through the window???" (a bit af laughter in the room).

(Go through the motions now).

"...through the window? Should he go though the...(laughter is subsiding)...look at me..I'm climbing with boxes and I'm about to go through this window here.....(motion out the square shape of a window). Hey, let me get in this window..

See? Do you know what I'm talking about? I bet you hate that kind of person too.

Funny and Not Funny - Comedians and TV Characters.

So here's my list of people that I can watch for an hour and not crack a smile, followed by people that crack me up with almost everything they say. Note some of the people listed are the characters that they've played.

This is probably part one as these are people off the top of my head.

Not Funny

Robin Williams

Whoopie

Billy Crystal

John Stewart

Johnny Carson

Bob Sagat

Ben Stiller (unless he's doing impressions)

Shemp Howard (3 Stooges)

Steve Martin (used to be funny)

Jeff Foxworthy

Bob Hope

Yakov Smirnoff

George Burns

Kathy Griffin

Rita Rudner

Funny

Stephen Colbert

Don Rickles

Ricky Gervais

Jack Black

Conan O'Brien

Dr Zibbs

Ralph Kramden

Ed Norton

The Schmenge Brothers (John Candy and Eugene Levy from SCTV)

Larry David

Larry Fine (3 Stooges)

Phil Silvers

Archie Bunker

Groucho Marx

Lisa Lampanelli

Sid Caesar

Is Anyone A Fan of Jeopardy?

I've been watching Jeopardy for years. For how smart those egg heads are, they sure are stupid when Alex introduces each of them and describes something "interesting" about them or a "funny" story. And the ridiculous banter begins.

Alex: So Ben Greenwood is from Chicago and apparently, Chicago really is the Windy City according to Ben. Tell us about that Ben.

Ben: It's true Alex. I was in downtown Chicago one time and I was late for a meeting and in my frantic scurry, I dropped my briefcase and it was so windy that a lot of the papers started blowing away. It took me almost five minutes to retrieve them all.

Alex: Oh my. I hope you weren't late for the meeting.

Ben: Well, I was but it made for a really funny story that everyone still talks about.

Alex: I'm sure it did.

I swear I've never heard an interesting or amusing story told. Shut up nerds and start playing!

And on the subject of Jeopardy, here's a great Jeopardy website called J! Archive that lets you roll over questions to see the answers. Nice.

Carson Kressley Better Stay Out of My Way

Is there anyone else that can't stand Carson Kressley? If I ever see him, I'm going to bitch slap his pansy ass then push him down a flight of stairs. And don't even call me a homophobe because all of the other guys on that Queer Eye For The Straight Guy show are just fine.

It's just Carson Kressley. Prancing around and making his dumbass comments. And he's got another show called "How to Look Good Naked" or something like that. I heard him referred to on TV the other day as the self help/self esteem guru. Shut up!

And it's not just because he's a huge fembot. Richard Simmons is right up there with him in the lady department but Richard Simmons makes me laugh my ass off. I guess it bothers me because Kressley turns up the gay to 11 on purpose just to get a rise out of the straight guys and because he thinks he's so damn funny. Which he is not.... Stupid no talent.

And just to show that I'm an equal opportunity hater, I hate Kate Hudson and Tom Bergeron with the same passion.