Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mini Sasquatch Woman Spotted At Pennsylvania Wawa.



You're not going to believe this! Are you sitting down? I was just at Wawa* getting a chicken salad sandwich (with provolone, tomato, lettuce and sweet peppers) and I saw a woman that was the size of a miniature Sasquatch.

This Sasquatch lady was huge. I'm 6'2" and she had at least an inch or two on me but she was solid bulk. Not fat. Solid. Like a Bigfoot only a bit smaller - like a mini Bigfoot.

So I discreetly did the old elevator eyes - look up then down at her then up again. Once I got to the top floor again it was confirmed - this lady was of mini Bigfoot size.Then of course I wondered what it would be like to be with a bigfoot lady in the sack (or the cave).

I wonder how many people do her and when they're done they say, "I've got to come clean. I only had sex with you because I'm a major Bigfoot fan."

Actually, I wonder how many people have done that and lived to ask the question. You know, because the mini Bigfoot lady probably killed them and all.

*For safety purposes I'm not going to tell you which Wawa it was. And I also don't want the press hanging out waiting for Sassy. C'mon, give the poor lady a break.

23 comments:

Katie said...

You'd better hope mini Sasquatch doesn't read your blog - she'll squish you like a bug.

jadedj said...

I would have thought you were a breast man, and now I find you actually have a foot fetish...a hairy foot at that.

Kat said...

This post is so incredibly wrong and yet so incredibly right! Thanks for the giggle.

Alan said...

jadedj wonder about being a breast man, check out the gigantits on that classic image of bigfoot.
Alan

SkylersDad said...

I'm not big enough to please a small women, let alone a Sasquatch.

diane said...

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?


Bigfoot exists.

I know it's a little lame, but that's as funny as it gets today.

words words words said...

God, I miss Wawa. And my hoagie. Salami and provolone with lettuce, onions, hot peppers, salt, pepper, oregano, and "a little bit of oil".

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Or, how many people have done her and then roared like Chewbacca upon completion of coitus?

Dr Zibbs said...

MJenks - "Coitus". Good one.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hahahahahahhahaha because I'm a major Bigfoot Fan! That's funny.

Sweet peppers???? No jalapeno's on the salad huh?

- Jennifer

Megan said...

You're right, I don't believe it.

But I want that sandwich.

Peggy said...

I didn't believe this post at first, thought it was another poop story...and it doesn't really matter cause you made me lol...again!

Evil Genius said...

What the hell does "gooney-goo-goo" mean, Gus?

Scope said...

It means you cahved teh bitch down and taught her how to speak.

numberonesistah said...

The 'old elevator eyes'! LMAO!!

I can sooo see this is my mind!

phd in yogurtry said...

Sex with Sasquatch .. An Anthropological Study.

If you have not seen The Bloggess' posts on Sasquatch sightings, you must.

http://thebloggess.com/?p=541

buffalodick said...

I've only seen a Sasquatch 20 or so times, usually buying cheap beer by the case, in Northern Michigan...

Dr Zibbs said...

Evil Genius - love that Eddie Murphy bit!

PHD - I'm checking that out.

Former Fat Chick said...

MJenks- I almost wet myself I laughed so hard!

Dr. have you seen "Pick of Destiny"- the best role Sassqwatch ever HAD!

My friend is a little person, and I have always wanted to ask him if chicks have slept with him just to do a little person...I am going to HAppy Hour with him today, after 3 drinks I'm just gonna straight up ask him! I'll keep you informed!

sista #2 said...

Thanks for throwing WaWa in my face.

Some of us do not have them in our towns....

I need to call Dick Wood.

peace
#2

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

forget the sasquatch - i want what you were having for lunch!

Ann said...

For a minute I thought it could be my boyfriends wife, Barbara. But then I noticed you said "mini".

He lived to tell. He says positions are limited. Death via suffocation comes into play.

Happy Valentines Day. :D

Ann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.