Friday, February 27, 2009

Sex With A Vegetable. Yes, There Are Books On This Perv Stuff.

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So one of my perv readers sent me this photo they took when they were at a bookstore. It's a picture of homemade sex toys that they found in a book. This particular photo shows the steps of how a dude can have sex with a pumpkin. And I like how you're supposed to heat it up. You've got to admit it is ingenious.

OK freaks - out with your stories. Who has had sex with a pumpkin or something weird like this. OR - have you ever caught anyone in the act? Hmmmmm?

33 comments:

buffalodick said...

I think it was Woody(Irony!)Allen who said "Man will fu*k mud, if it's the right temperature"...

Blonde Goddess said...

You already know about the carrot but there have been other vegetables.
I really don't like to "dip" and tell.

I've stuck my nipples in containers of chilled jello...I wondered how it would feel so I tried it. I liked it.

That's all I have time for today. Perhaps I shall post about it some day.

John Young said...

Zibbs:

Rule 34.

That is all.

Susan said...

I totally can't compete with Blonde Goddess. However, there are no kids home this weekend and my hub LOVES jello shots...

Jill said...

In college, my Mother caught her boyfriend having sex with a cow, which I think is worse than a vegetable...poor cow.

Regarding Buffalodick...my husband says, "for every pig, there is a pig fucker."

Prunella Jones said...

Not so far, but if they could grow a cucumber that vibrated I'd so be there.

Belle said...

What have I always said? You are one seriously pervy freak!

Whiskeymarie said...

My best friend walked in on her then-boyfriend having sex with a cantaloupe once.

She said she was OK with it because she was tired of him and at least one of them was getting some.

coffeypot said...

I prefer watermelons...still on the vine and out in the sun. Just plug it (cut a triangular hole in it, and go to town. When you are through, put the plug back in. Just don't accept any watermelon parties at the owner’s house and you will be alright.

Michelle said...

NO NO NO!!!!

Gwen said...

I'd like to know if this book was in the self-help section of the bookstore.

Sadly, I have no tales of vegetable or animal fucking. Which is odd, because my friends are weird.

Nyxmyst said...

I was going to answer this and then I realised that shocking people is bad.

Lets just say... I'm been known to have had my share of non-animate objects in my day. *blinks innocently*

Oh, and I knew a guy that made shock porn in florida that used to do a watermelon and then eat it....

Nikki said...

I have not experience the vegetable dildo. I will have to try that soon. As for doing the pumpkin, I guess whatever floats your boat is the best response to that.

Cameron said...

You asked a similar question about anal penetrations the other day. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to gauge your level of 'normalcy'. So how do you rate, probably off the fucking chart :)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run to the store, get some pumpkins, some squash, and an industrial vat of crisco.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I've no experience of fruit sex, but I did walk in on University housemate jerking off to gay porn once. Is that fruity enough for you?

Son of a Thomas said...

Question????

When you heat the vegetable, do you have to remove the I.V's?

It had to be said.

sas said...

A girl I know got a champagne bottle stuck up her twat. It created an air vacum and she had to call an ambulance - they gave her muscle relaxants

Cora said...

Just think what Halloween could turn into if this book makes the Best Seller list! Gives new meaning to the word Jack O' Lantern, huh?

Trick-or-Treat. ;-)

lorijo said...

there was a girl in the next town over, let's call her vicky, who used a hot dog. Problem was it broke halfway through. Bigger problem was she tried to get it out using a fork.
A few years later my little brother kept getting phone calls from this girl who wanted to go out on a date with him. Her name? Vicky. Yes, the same one.

mhawf said...

How timely they made fun of this very issue today on The View go to
1:40 to see Whoopi getting in the mood with veggies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxfB0NstUmI

sista #2 said...

Why do you think they called him Carrot Top???


peace
#2

Jill said...

Oh! I also knew a kid whose Mom caught him with his dick stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose nozzle while it was on...he was around 8 years old. She unfortunately told the other Moms and all of us kids found out.

Bombchell said...

LOL u changed the poor pervs intentions. they werent trying to have sex with the pumpkin, just.... um....how do i say this.... have fun with themselves, with a foreign object like a banana peels =)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oh there are some funny comments here...The only one I can come up with is Jim (from the movie American Pie) "having at it" with the Apple pie on the kitchen island and his dad walks in on him.. Cinematic genius...

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm just reading all of these comments now and laughing like hell. Well dome. You friggin' pervs.

Nyxmyst said...

Oh Zibbs, you have no idea. There's a reason my blog is adult only. :P

Scope said...

I figured he'd use a kumquat for that.

franki said...

isn't there some story or a movie or something about a guy slicing a nice slit in a roast beef?

if i had a penis, i'm thinking that would feel better than a warm pumpkin.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Well, that just F*cked up Halloween for me for the rest of my life. I will never be able to look a jack-o-lantern in the hollowed out eye again.

S E E Quine said...

Back in Ohio I remember hearing about an eighth grade boy named Russ who bought a goat from this girl he liked.... These conversations would always end, "Ru-u-u-u-u-sss!"

Hey, the word verification says, 'squical'. I love those things!

diane said...

What a concept, it's more than a little twisted. Bleck!

WendyB said...

I took a pumpkin out to a wonderful dinner complete with Champagne, and the damn gourd STILL wouldn't put out for me at the end of the evening!

Caffeine Court said...

My sister's father in law told his ex-wife she could be replaced with two pieces of warm liver.

I guess a microwaved pumpkin could also do the trick.