Thursday, February 12, 2009

Remember That Bird I Was Talking About On Facebook? I'm Thinking About Capturing It.



Remember my Facebook status yesterday? When it said, "Jim Zibbs is looking at a bird"?

Then later it said, "Jim Zibbs is wondering where that bird went. OH THERE IT IS!"

And then the blogger H said something like, "You are so weird but I find that endearing."

Well she might think I'm even more endearing because it's final. I've made the decision to capture that bird. Or at least have him eat seeds out of my hand. Or if not that bird (that bird that I'm looking at right now) another bird.

Does anyone have any experience doing this? If so, please let me know the steps and which birds it works best with. I'd also like to know the dangers. I will name the bird after the person that helps me capture him.* Also, I live in Southeastern PA so don't tell me how I can catch a Monkey Eating Eagle or an Ostrich because you'll be wasting your time and mine.

The only thing I tried to capture ever was a rabbit when I was five. My trap was a cardboard box propped up with a stick and the stick had kite string tied to it. I hid behind a tree but caught nothing. At the time I blamed my mom because she gave me lettuce instead of carrots for bait but I bet I was sitting up wind. Who knows.

*(Praying to self) Please let their name be Chirpy. Please let their name be Chirpy.

19 comments:

buffalodick said...

12 or 20 gauge, Improved or Mod cylinder, No. 6 or 8 shot....

Swedish Chef said...

Do you have any experience with snares? I can snare that sumabitch in three days.

Dedene said...

I can't even catch the tribe of crows that come into our yard and make noise.
Good luck to you!

J. Hi said...

Use a butterfly net and go for small low flying bird. Run around the yard with the net singing "Tweet-a-tweet-a-tweeta"

Dangers: your neighbors might think you were spending too much time with Richard Simmons.

Dr Zibbs said...

What if I did the combo snare thing that Swedish Chef is suggesting and the running around the yard thing that J Hi is suggesting?

No. That won't work.

B.E. Earl said...

Let the bird fly free, my man.

Let it soar.

Kat said...

Be careful with birds, dude. My brother got his ass handed to him by a bird in an aviary at the National Zoo. Now that was some funny stuff.

Rachel said...

I don't remember that status update because I'm not fb friends with Jim Zibbs.

Why don't you just shoot it? Just in the leg, or the wing. Then you can nurse it back to health, but the bird will come to love you and will never want to leave. And it will be named after me, so it will be like we're married.

moooooog35 said...

I hear dressing up like a whore girl bird works.

That's what I heard.

From someone else.

Not myself.

Katie said...

All I know is that i just set up a birdfeeder a couple of days ago, and those bastards are GREEDY. Plus, they drop their food all over the ground and refuse to eat it off the floor - kind of like my kids.

diane said...

A friend of mine had a bird, some kind of a parrot I think, that she taught how to talk. Amongst other things, the bird could say "I'm an Eagle" and "F*ck you". Somehow, the bird got loose, and was last seen flying past her neighbor's yard saying "F*ck you, I'm an Eagle". If you catch this bird, don't take any lip off him (or beak, whatever the case may be). His name just happens to be Chirpy.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - Dots a Good Von!

Erin said...

I've only caught them with garbage bags.

Megan said...

I want to be your fb friend...

Scope said...

Some Elmers.
Some bird seed.
One of your old lab coats.
Cat like reflexes.

You're all good.

Word very - jusei. Juicy? Has Cora's blog been hanging out over here? :-)

numberonesistah said...

I studied up on this just so I could help you with this problem. After extensive research, here it is. According to the experts at Warner Brothers, you are supposed to oh-so-slyly sneak up on designated bird and pour salt on their tail. They are then stuck at that point and are all yours. They might cry and pout for a bit but to no avail. They know the rules also.

I'm expecting pictures and name the bird Shawn please. ;o)

Spud Mack said...

Just leave a little trail of seeds bringing it closer and closer. Stay calm and relaxed, the bird will respond well to you then. The put your hand on the ground with a little pile of seeds in your palm. This will ensure the bird knows that you mean no harm and are empathetic towards it. I will soon come within arms reach and then WHACK IT WITH THAT ELECTRONIC TENNIS BUG ZAPPER THING ON SUPERCHARGE!!

~E said...

I can help you shoot...I mean..."capture" that bird! I was AWESOME at Duck hunt, and you know...that's like the same thing.

And P.S. you should add me on facebook. It makes me feel loved.

Spurwing Plover said...

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