Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin. An Exclusive Glimpse Into My Bedroom.



I like to show my lady that I still think she's sexy by giving her as little privacy as possible when she's nude. You know, so I can leer at it and make comments about how sexy it is and the things I want to do to it. Like when she's in the shower for instance, I'll sometimes open the curtain quickly and say, "A-HA!" or "What's going on in here?"

Or this morning.

Wife comes in bedroom after shower, puts on panties then starts putting lotion all over her supple, Italian body. I wait in the semi darkness with one eye creepily peering out from under the covers.

Me: (In deep voice) And then the lotion show began.

Wife: What? You want me to have soft skin don't you?

Me: Do you need some help applying the lotion on the upper areas. Right there. On those things.

Wife:
Will you stop?

Me: Stop (pause)...or go?

Smooth operator.

30 comments:

Some Guy said...

She is one lucky lady.

Philly said...

I love the word Supple.

#1

SkylersDad said...

Put on a little Barry White next time, repeat as needed.

moooooog35 said...

I know. She loves that shit.

I mean...um...

Good idea.

buffalodick said...

At my age, a trowel is a handy thing to have....

Lisa said...

Lucky woman. And so nice of you to want to help her out!

Dr Zibbs said...

Lisa - I know. I'm a giver.

Giggle Pixie said...

Oh yeah, you are smooooooooooth....

Cameron said...

I can only imagine that she immediately gave herself to you. At least she should have. In reality, she probably told you to knock it off.

Jill said...

Lewis!! Is that you??? Do you have another wife, you bigamist blanket peeper!?

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I guess that's nicer than saying "Look! Daddy's naked!" And pulling back the shower curtain so the cat can leer at Himself's dangly bits.

Not that I do that.
Pull back the curtain OR call my husband 'Daddy' when I'm talking to the cat.

(going away now)

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Wow You should teach a class. Or something.

Cora said...

Oh to be Mrs Z....

SouthernBelle said...

It's one of the best things about marriage, that one's beloved has to forgive one for doing things like that.

Whiskeymarie said...

Instead of sex, I bet you call it "making love"- right?

Now I'm picturing you with a moustache and a gold medallion around your neck, for some reason.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey M - I call it many things, "Gettin' it on", Vodie-o-doe-doe" - you know - all the normal things.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

At least you don't sneak in the bathroom and turn the shower lever to cold while she's in there.

My boyfriend does it all the time to me and runs out laughing like a school girl.

HAPPY TUESDAY!
- Jennifer

Gwen said...

What fraternity did you say you were pledging?

Son of a Thomas said...

Me: (In deep voice) And then the lotion show began.

Wife: What? You want me to have soft skin don't you?

Me: Do you need some help applying the lotion on the upper areas. Right there. On those things.

Wife: Will you stop?

Me: Stop (pause)...or go?

Wife begins to dance like people in video below.

Andy said...

This post could have easily been titled, "Famous last words of a serial molester"

Slyde said...

thats great! i do the same shit to my wife.. she hates me for it.

Dr Zibbs said...

Bwahahaha - SON of THOMAS is back with his hysterical comments. That had me laughing out loud!

EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT HIS BLOG!

dizzy mom said...

Did you really refer to her breasts as "those things"? Lol!

I don't think any man can watch a woman put on lotion without offering to "help". We must look so helpless...or Sexy HOT!

Dr Zibbs said...

Dizzy Mom - I have all different names for "those things"

As for offering to help put on the lotion, you are correct. It like when women are doing the dishes. There's that need to sneak up from behind.

We can't resist.

diane said...

Sounds like a fun relationship to me. That's cool.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Too lazy to soap her down, were ya?

I'm just sayin'... ; )

Michelle said...

If i was your woman i would say GO GO GO!!!!

Love
Stalker

LiLu said...

I love that you tagged this "naked" AND "nude", just in case we didn't get it.

Belle said...

Clearly you are a pervert.

Miss Alex said...

Your piggish qualities are endearing.... I'm woooowed