Washington University Study is Last Straw for Chimps - US Raises Chimp Attack Threat Level to Plaid

The University of Washington has revealed that walking on two legs is easier than walking on four - according to the National Academy of Sciences. (see story by clicking on the following word: banana ).

According to researchers, walking on two feet uses 3/4 less energy.

Spokeschimp Bobo McGee doesn't give a crap about the study and relayed the following statement via sign language through his human interpreter.

"This is bullshit! Look at Mr. Giggles on that God damned machine - he looks like a clown! We are tired of being dressed up in human clothes - and tired of doing experiments and overall, tired of being made to look like fools. Why the hell are you humans always pulling this crap?"

After being given half an orange, Mr McGee went on to say,

"Oh you'll pay...You'll pay!"

The Department of Chimpanzee Security is now saying that the study has enraged chimps and the alert level has been elevated to plaid since the release of the study.

US officials have been monitoring the growing chimp rage in recent years and believe that the Washington University study is the tipping point. Top officials think a Summer attack WILL happen. That Blue Yak has obtained and exclusive statement from Bill Darlak, an ex undercover chimp operative. Mr Darlak thinks the threats should be taken very seriously,

"I am VERY, VERY concerned for the country this Summer. I was undercover for two years at several chimp training facilities and after you get over the humor of these funny little rascals and their human like behavior, you see the rage these apes have. It is quite frightening. I really wanted to stay with them longer but was alerted by animal experts that my chimp costume was really a gorilla costume. My superiors insisted that I abort my mission"

Officials are asking the public to be on the lookout for the following chimps: