Coatesville Fire Arsonist Catcher Needs Parade Help.

As I reported yesterday, one of the arsonist has been caught in Coatesville, Pa probably thanks to me helping to spread the word on my blog. And in a little more than eight hours after releasing the story of the Coatesville arsonist capture, I received over 250 hits from people just searching for that story.

That's the beauty of keywords.

And do you know what all of this mean? Coatesville is probably going to throw me a hero parade. And guess what? I'm going to let you guys help me plan it. Here are some of my parade demands/suggestions as a local hero that I'd like to see in my parade.

- The "Coatesville 'Here Comes That Hero' Parade" route should start with tiny animals and the animals should get larger as they lead back to me. For example at the beginning of the parade there will be mice, then squirrels, then small monkeys, ..............then me on an African elephant. I would also like to have at least three tapirs.

- I would like my hero outfit to be completely covered in feathers and sequins but if it looks gay at all I will not wear it. So this is going to be a design challenge.

- I want a major rock band playing on the parade route (not Coldplay) and when I'm in hearing distance I want them to play "Don't you know that you're my hero?"

- I want a few boxes of Snickers and Three Musketeer bars - the fun size - that I can throw out to my fans.

Please add your suggestions for my Coatesville hero parade demands in the comments area.

Remember That Bird I Was Talking About On Facebook? I'm Thinking About Capturing It.

Remember my Facebook status yesterday? When it said, "Jim Zibbs is looking at a bird"?

Then later it said, "Jim Zibbs is wondering where that bird went. OH THERE IT IS!"

And then the blogger H said something like, "You are so weird but I find that endearing."

Well she might think I'm even more endearing because it's final. I've made the decision to capture that bird. Or at least have him eat seeds out of my hand. Or if not that bird (that bird that I'm looking at right now) another bird.

Does anyone have any experience doing this? If so, please let me know the steps and which birds it works best with. I'd also like to know the dangers. I will name the bird after the person that helps me capture him.* Also, I live in Southeastern PA so don't tell me how I can catch a Monkey Eating Eagle or an Ostrich because you'll be wasting your time and mine.

The only thing I tried to capture ever was a rabbit when I was five. My trap was a cardboard box propped up with a stick and the stick had kite string tied to it. I hid behind a tree but caught nothing. At the time I blamed my mom because she gave me lettuce instead of carrots for bait but I bet I was sitting up wind. Who knows.

*(Praying to self) Please let their name be Chirpy. Please let their name be Chirpy.