Resusci Anne Was A Creep Fest! Mary C Howse Elementary Made Me Do This In 4th Grade!

*Points old straggly finger at Anne and talks like a ghost* "Kiiiiissss Meeee. KIIIISSSSS MEEEEE!!!"

Did you guys have to do the CPR Resusci Anne when you were in school? Where you had to perform CPR on this creepy ass dummy? I did. In FOURTH grade!! Then again in Seventh. But fourth grade. What were they thinking?

I remember thinking it was kind of scary but looking around the room some of the kids were terrified. Trying not to act nervous. And some were just super embarrassed that they were going to have to put their lips on this actual sized body and blow into it as the whole class watched. "Oh so THAT'S how you would kiss a girl? Oh I see."

I'm thinking of finding out how to volunteer at schools so I can be the person that teaches the kids.....

Like I would go into some schools in the South and make some of the racist kids do CPR on the black male Anne. Holding my clipboard I'd say, "So. You love blacks AND you're gay. Interesting." Maybe rig it so when their lips approach I pump something and it appears that the male Anne is getting a boner. Or just ugly it up with a mane of matted nose hair extending down right above the lips.

Or I would get really close to the kid and say something and when they turned around I'd be wearing one of these Anne masks and whisper, "Join us!"

And I'd choose one special kid that would get these baby Annes. Placed in their bed at night. And they would wake up to the sound of recorded voices saying, "Dad da. Dad da...."

Yeah I gotta get on that.

Linda Cardellini Is Hotter Than Ever. Freaks and Geeks. Brunettes Going Blond.

Does anyone else love the show Freaks And Geeks? I do. Above is Linda Cardelinni. She was on the show. She never really did it for me in the looks department. I mean she was OK but I never thought she was THAT hot. But have you seen her lately?

Man has she aged well. Maybe it's the shaped brows and the makeup I'm not sure. But either way....VavaVOOOM! She's 37 by the way.

Now here she is as a blond.....

Whoa. Stunning. Lots of gals can't pull off the blond thing when they're naturally dark brunette but she does it well. I still like her better as a brunette though.

And here she is showing that she still has a sense of humor.....

Oh beeeeeehaaaaaaaveee!!!! I'm not sure where she was speaking when she did this but would love to find out. And I wonder if she hates that this is one of the photos that shows up first in a Google image search. Also, she does have a long tongue. Am I right? 

Bobby Sherman's Bulge Search Leads To My Blog. Pants Sniffing Lady.

OK. Who is it? Is it you? .... What about you? ....Or maybe it's YOU!

Who is searching "Bobby Sherman's Bulge" because it keeps coming up in my Google analytics. I posted a video of him a few years ago singing "Easy Come, Easy Go" and now I keep getting Bobby Sherman bulge searches on my blog. It's really taking this blog downtown. Ruining the purity of THAT BLUE YAK. Here's another picture of him:

He is pretty bulgy I guess. Could just be the tight pants. Is he known for having a big bulge? Like Milton Berle is known for having a big d#@k?

Maybe this lady knows because she was the proud winner of Bobby Sherman pants at his convention:

You KNOW she sniffed them.

"Cheryl! You're not going to believe this! I WON BOBBY SHERMAN'S PANTS!! *hangs up clam shell phone and goes into stall at convention center and takes a whiff.*

Salute To Andre The Giant. Six Million Dollar Man.

Andre the Giant. He was 7'4" and 520 pounds!!!! God DYAAAAAAAMNN!!

Here are some pics. Please share your memories and ask your questions in the comments area. And no..I don't have the answer to that one question. But it was probably huge! And I'm sure there's a quote about him somewhere that says, "Oh he was big alright. And the biggest thing about him (pause) was his heart."

Andre' and Ali. Nice.

Andre' with some babes. He looks kinda handsome here don't you think? 30 seconds after this picture was taken "the rapin' began."

In hospital bed. He could so kill her.

As Bigfoot on the Six Million Dollar Man. How did I not know he played Bigfoot until now???

Andre' with his lunch.

And here's his Wiki page.

Battle of the Network Stars! Lynda Carter. Gabe Kaplan. Adrian Zmed.

Here are some pictures from Battle of the Network Stars. Remember that? Stars from the three TV networks competing. It ran from 1976 - 1983.

Lynda Carter. Yowza! You can even see areola!! Before the days of the Internet seeing nipple on TV was like finding gold in them thar hills! Maybe that's why I'm a nipple man. Boob size doesn't matter to me. But give me a nice pair of nips (preferably two) and I'm in!

Peter Urich will you please put some pants on? Seriously.

Ann Jillian. I never thought she was hot. But on a related note she was on a short lived show called "Jennifer Lives Here" back in 1983. I was traveling one time and at a bar I saw the kid that was on the show. I also recognized him from being the kid that was on the first episode of Cheers. I approached him and we had a nice chat. (To read a post about other famous people I've met click here).

Something for the ladies. Oh brother. Look at Zmed.

Howard Cosell: So Gabe how do you think you'll do in today's competition?

Gabe Kaplan: Forget that! Do you think Dr Zibbs will reference me in a blog post when he writes about the Philly art museum on  August 1, 2012? Do ya? Also, what do you think of my look? The hair? The stache? Honestly.

I Was Terrible At Doing Models. 68 GTO. Planes from Ceiling.

Behold it's beauty. The 68 GTO. I love that car for some reason. But what I didn't like was doing models. My dad tried to get me into building model airplanes because he did them when he was younger but I didn't have the patience.

I guess I was about seven or eight which is way too young for putting together a complicated model. But he would sit me at the kitchen table and lay all the pieces out. I would pick up a piece and take a look at it and he would say, "Don't touch it Jimmy. You need to follow the instructions!"

And follow the instructions he would. He would read through the instructions then pull off all the pieces and put them in piles. I would help. Then he would attempt to put it together using that airplane glue. It always made a mess. He would let me try to put together the larger pieces. Glue dripping all over. I would usually lose patience and leave the room and let him finish. I would hear him yelling, "God Damn it!" because he would break a piece or glue it into the wrong spot. I'd come back in when he was putting the decals on over the bumpy dried glue areas.

A few years later I tried to do them myself. But I'd get frustrated and leave lots of the parts off. Like an engine of a car? No need for that when the hood is shut. Right?

Not sure what ever happened to my models? A few of the planes were hung from my ceiling till I was about eleven. I don't remember where they went but I bet I blew some up with firecrackers.

Sketch Of Me From 4th Grade. Magic Pan Chicago.

I give you...a portrait of me. It's from 4th grade.

I was out in Chicago with my cousins for a few weeks in 4th grade and we were at this restaurant called the Magic Pan. And some black arty fartsy dude kept looking at me. Then I noticed he was sketching me. After about 10 minutes he approached our table and said, "Excuse me. I was admiring this young boy. He has a very magical quality to him. A very magical boy. And I would like to present this sketch to you."

He hands the sketch to my Aunt Mollie.

I'm thinking, "FINALLY! Someone has finally realized that I'm magical!"

My Aunt hands him a ten and say thanks. He walks away and she says, "That's what they do in the city Jimmy. They draw your picture then you feel guilty so you have to give them money or you look cheap. It's just another form of panhandling."

Well, thanks for popping THAT bubble. Well, for a few seconds I felt magical so at least I got that.

Thoughts On Eight Is Enough. 70's 80's TV. Dianne Kay.

A few thoughts on Eight is Enough:

1) Nancy was the hottest (see picture above).

2) Nicholas was an annoying troll with a huge head.

3) In seventh grade I called into the Jerry Lewis telethon and got to talk to Dick Van Patton. I think I pledged $5. I need to get around to paying that one of these days.

4) The theme song is the gayest theme song ever recorded. See below.

Irish Spring Commercial and Some Trivia For Ye'

Remember this stupid Irish Spring commercial from 1979? I hated it. Trying to hook people in with the Irish thing and the cutting open of the soap with the pocket knife.



But here's some trivia for you. Do you know who that babe is in the commercial? It's Cindy Morgan. The chick from Caddy Shack. Remember?

Here she is:

Burt Mustin. Brady. All In The Family. Old Dude.

Remember Burt Mustin? Sure you do. He was that super old dude that was on the Brady Bunch "Jesse James" episode. And All The Family. And other things. He always reminded me of my Aunt Josie who was really old too.

Here are a few pictures. Not sure what the second two are from. Do you?

Plastic on Couches. What Up Wid Dat?

Question for my Italian  (say: I-TALL-yun) followers. Did any of you have plastic on your couches? If yes please call your parents and ask them why. I really want to know. These pictures may refresh your memory:

Chevy Van. 70's Style. Sammy Kershaw. Nice Caboose.

Look at that fat fuck loser thinking that foxy lady is going to get into his cherry van. Well, she probably is since she's wearing a van magazine and this photo is obviously staged.

Look at that caboose on that babe though. And she's got some attitude! Oh baby! You must be a woman's libber? No worries. I ain't no male chauvenist pig. Get in my van doll face.

I had to post this because I saw an old van on Sunday and thought, "Man I haven't seen a 70's van in ages!" It wasn't custom or anything but brought back memories. Remember the custom ones though? Shag carpet on the ceiling, fridge, maybe a water bed? Yeah you know what I'm talking about. Mmmhmmm?

Sadly I only have two interactions with custom vans. One was owned by a friend of mine in college. And we used to party AND parTAY in it (whatever that means). And the second was Mr Franz across the street. Remember that asshole? You know, he used to blink all the time? Wait. I think he had a custom van. I know he had a dune buggy. I forget. Flare, can you chime in and clear this up?*

And I'll leave you with the corny ass Chevy van song. Here are a few lyrics. Feel free to sing along.

Like a picture she was laying there
Moonlight dancing in her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy van
And that's alright with me

*clear it up AFTER you put that snorkel down.

Second Levon Helm Tribute. In My Top Ten Songs.

I know I just posted a Levon Helm song but I need to post another. This is another one from The Last Waltz. The Weight. This is probably in my top ten of favorite songs and my top live performance song.

Just tugs at the old heart strings don't you think?

OK. Come comfort me. This song seriously makes me tear up every time I hear it.

Soul Train Dancers Got It. Do You? Erf, Wind and Fire.

OK i'm going to be brutally honest here. You need to know. You're going to try and dress like them...but you're going to look like a fool. You're going to try and dance like them....sadly, you're going to humiliate yourself, them and me.

Just please, enjoy them but do NOT try and emulate the Soul Train dancers:

Ricky From Partridge Family. Ricky Segall.

Ahhh-Haaaa!! I KNEW you were Googling your name Ricky Segall from The Partridge Family. So what you been doing for the last 40 years? I heard you were a priest or something.

If you want me to interview you send me an email at Lebner1 at Yahoo dot com.

OK. Keep it real.

Dick Van Dyke And Falling Over The Ottoman.

Man I used to love the Dick Van Dyke Show. I wish it was in reruns more.

When I was a kid and it was in reruns I was pretty good at imitating the opening trip scene. Here it is:

Who Else Loves Bobby Bitman and Sammy Maudlin? And Skip.

This might be my favorite SCTV sketch of all time. Except Sammy Maudlin didn't do his classic laugh in this one where bangs his hands in between his thighs.

And I miss my man John Candy.

The Semonski Sisters. Lawrence Welk. Jeepers Creepers.

Haven't posted a Lawrence Welk video in a while. This is the old Semonski sister. And I'm not posting this as a joke. I like this. It's an old Johnny Mercer song.

My favorite sister is the one in the the middle on the top row. Reminds me of a friend.

So do you guys like it or what?

Foster Brooks Roasting Rickles. Comedians. 1970's.

I was just looking for Don Rickles stuff on Youtube and came across this Dean Martin roast of Foster Brooks roasting Don Rickles. Oh my God I was tearing up laughing.

What do you think?

Check Her Out Getting Spunky At The Beginning. ABBA.

Check out my girl (the blond one) getting all spunky and kicking her legs out at the beginning of the song Waterloo. This was their classic performance at Momarkedet. You know Momarkedet? Yeah you do. That famous Norwegian show Momarkedet?

Yeah. You do.

And check out those cat shirts. What the?

I will hand it to ABBA though. I saw a show on them and they barely knew what they were singing. OK I gotta go so enjoy. Leave your thoughts and reflections in the comments area.