And Then He Handed The Bloggers Their New Nicknames

OK, fellow bloggers. This took WAY longer than I thought. As promised, I've come up with your new nicknames. Just like the powerful Oz, I will now present them to you.

And note that I've supplied links to your blogs so hold on to your hats because you're gonna get a crap load of hits today. Feel free to thank me in a blog post. I dare you.

Also, I've learned a bit about you all. You're all greedy as hell. As soon as you heard "free" you came a runnin'. I bet if I announced that I was putting an old sink on my curb at least ten of you would be on your way over here. Anyway, here they are. Some of the names will only make sense to a few people. In some cases - only me. Enjoy.

Jon (Extraneous Kickassery)
"The Floor" (he's an expert at installing floors)

"Hand-J" (short for handsome Jon - or so the ladies tell me)

"Leaper" (he only writes a post every leap year)

Anonymous (Anonymous and Loving It)
"Jel-E-Bub" (jealous because he didn't come up with the Bubble-Up song)
"Sir Stalks-Alot" (he was stalking me last week)


Dmb5_Libra (DMB Does Not Stand For the Dave Matthews Band!)
"Poop Deck Patty" (from your comment in your profile about poop decks)

Holy Crappers - Sista #1 (Holy Crappers)
"Crapese"

"Sister Mary Philly" (lives in Philly)

M in SF (Insert Witty Title Here)
"Tub-A-No" (because she hates fat kids)

Poobomber (The Other Side Of Normal)
"Fecal Fling Frank"
"Y-Pages" (he writes more posts than there are ads in the yellow pages)

Kimmie (KinDeC)
"Noodle Locks" (because she loves to cook and has blond, curly hair)

J Hi - (Jigsaw: Pieces Of My Life)
"Lemon Lippy", or "Tart-si" (look at her avatar)

The Imaginary Reviewer (The Imaginary Review)
"The Unicorn Whisperer" (get it? ...imaginary?)
"Ole' English Toof" (you know the British and their careless ways with a toothbrush)

Mathdude (Eating Chicken Vindaloo)
"Protractus" (probably Latin for a protractor)

Gwen (Everything I Like Causes Cancer)
"Magna-Nipple" or "Sammy Nipple Jr" (you know - with her one nipple that goes the other way. See her blog for the amazing details).

Blood Red Roses (Everything's Temporary)
"Polka Pam" (her profile says her favorite music is "anything and everything")

Red (Ginger Is the Watchword)
"Skipper, now rub the lotions on my butt" (I know it's long but it's they only Gilligan's Island reference that's coming to me. Now the stretch of a joke here is that the Skipper and Gilligan are participating in some homosexual behavior with lotions and if they're on the lookout in case Ginger comes snooping around...get it?..OK shut up!).

Get Kristi Love (Two Minutes In The Box)
"Pucky" (Loves hockey)

B.E.Earl (Bug Eyed Blog)
"The Earl of Bugs"

Whiskey Marie (Whiskey Marie)
"Bourbon Boob-A-Licious"

Step Right Up (Warped Viewing of My Mind)

"Stool" (used when you want to "step right up")

Mike (Brown Cotton and Red Sox)

"Matt" (sounds similar to Mike) or "The Poor Man's Jon" (because I've heard him and Jon are twins)

Smoochies (I Have Nothing To Say About That)

"Breath-A Lisa" (Almost got busted at sobriety check point in Downingtown.

The Indefatigable MJenk (A Crown of Thistles)

"Test-ees" or "Test-ees Tim" (because he claims to be in the field of chemistry)

Beckeye (The Pop Eye)

"Tubes" (because she reviews things on the tube - among other pop culture suff).

MnMom (Happy To BE From Iowa)

"Compass" (Because her name is Minnesota Mom but her blog is "Happy To Be from Iowa)

Jennifer and Sandy (Minnesota Vs. Texas - Bloggin' Through Life One Goat At A Time)

"Mary, Terry and Carrie" (one more name but easier to remember)

Ask Alice (Alice in Average Land)

"The Canadian Fox" or "Mag-Dum" (because she attracts "dummies" like a "magnet" - the dummy being her friend Blondie)

Ms Florida Transplant (Just a girl....And her dogs)

"BamBlorida" (Big beautiful eyes like a deer and lives in Florida)

Fancy Schmancy (Fancy Schmancy)

"Prancy Nancy from Delancy" (rhymes with original name)

Urban Blond In The Burbs (Urban Blond In The Burbs)

"Urbs"

Some Guy (And Some Guys Blog)

"Ribs McCoy" (see his rib eating video on Youtube)

Falwless - (Lots Better Then Your Blog)

Soul-less (literally - has no soul)

Vodka Mom (I Need A Martini Mom)

"Ruskareena" (You know - how the Russians love vodka)

Enc (Observation Mode)

"Fash-Ano" (has a great fashion blog)

The End.

West Chester Blogger Giving Out Free Nicknames

It's pretty lame when people make up their own nicknames. Really - it is. If you've read my blog, you''ll know that I have a special gift for making up nicknames on the fly. Take a look at this post about Soul Train where I nick-named all of the dancers. And even though racist You Tube took the video down it's STILL a classic. Seriously - "Backstroke Afromatic"? ...Where DO I come up with this stuff?

In an effort to "Give Something Back" - I'm going to give a nickname to each person that leaves a comment in the comments section of this blog today*. Please also feel free to nickname me in the comments section. Also, please leave any great nicknames that you've heard of in your lifetime.

So there you go. Enjoy your normal, boring name.... for one more day.

*If for some reason, whether religious, fear of taunting or just being a big baby and you DON'T want a nickname - please write, "no nickname please" in comments.

Blogger Ends 33 Year Soul Train Racism And Creates Fun Party Game To Boot

It was 1974. The dancers were dressed allllll funky and what not. They was doin' their thang. But WHO were those dancers? What were their names. I think we can all agree that it was racism. THAT BLUE YAK will now give these young dancers their proper credit by naming them.

They will now not only have a face but they will have a name. Names that they should where with pride - not figuratively, but literally, on large, bedazzled, name tag buttons. These name tags should be worn at ALL TIMES. Now, enjoy getting down with these brothers as they do their stuff , followed by their new names and a fun game.



Now to have some fun. Gather your friends and yell out the names of the dancers as they do their thing. Pretend you know them and you're all friends. Make up stories about the dancing adventures you've all had together.
Did you perhaps solve crimes with your new dancing friends? Maybe you did.
Were you all asked by the Mayor of your town to pitch in and help with the fight against litter? And then just when you thought you lost the battle you guys got the whole town dancing and then everyone learned a lesson about litter? And themselves? I don't know. The only limit to your adventures is your imagination.

We now give you their new non-slave names:

- Slipper Band Man
- Sir Frogalicious
- Bandana the Tank
- Backstroke Afromatic
- Bus Token Scooper Slim
- The Rich Little of Raj Thomas
- Blue Trouser Howser
- Candy Cane Calf Carl
- The Admiral of Cool
- Denim Da Hip
- (WARNING: This is some white dude disguised as a black dude. He has not earned a name)
- Bell Bottom Swell Bottom
- Tyron "Dease coals is hot but dis lady be fine) Lincoln
- Sidewalkin' Ice Guy
- Sir Twirls a Lot
- Goat Leg the Inner City Centaur
- The Butt
- Bizniss Man Tight
- Jiu-Jitzu Jammin' Jim (aka Robo-martial-artso)
- Gymnastic the Bombastic Flim Flam Lover Man
- Brother Soul Sam the Anti-Man

Repeat and Enjoy.

WARNING: Do not repeat more than three times. Do not go into "bad areas" of the city trying to make new "real" friends.