Coatesville Fire Arsonist Catcher Needs Parade Help.
As I reported yesterday, one of the arsonist has been caught in Coatesville, Pa probably thanks to me helping to spread the word on my blog. And in a little more than eight hours after releasing the story of the Coatesville arsonist capture, I received over 250 hits from people just searching for that story.
That's the beauty of keywords.
And do you know what all of this mean? Coatesville is probably going to throw me a hero parade. And guess what? I'm going to let you guys help me plan it. Here are some of my parade demands/suggestions as a local hero that I'd like to see in my parade.
- The "Coatesville 'Here Comes That Hero' Parade" route should start with tiny animals and the animals should get larger as they lead back to me. For example at the beginning of the parade there will be mice, then squirrels, then small monkeys, ..............then me on an African elephant. I would also like to have at least three tapirs.
- I would like my hero outfit to be completely covered in feathers and sequins but if it looks gay at all I will not wear it. So this is going to be a design challenge.
- I want a major rock band playing on the parade route (not Coldplay) and when I'm in hearing distance I want them to play "Don't you know that you're my hero?"
- I want a few boxes of Snickers and Three Musketeer bars - the fun size - that I can throw out to my fans.
Please add your suggestions for my Coatesville hero parade demands in the comments area.
27 comments:
I think you also need one of those giant checks for at least 1 Meeelion dollars.
Perhaps they cold re-animate Harry Carey to do the parade announcing?
You're going to need more than a "few" boxes of candy because you gots lots o'fans, Bub!
(Can I ride on your float?)
You need Bette Midler. And the Foo Fighters.
You will also need a case of Mineral water and a basket of fresh fruit for your dressing room.
Gwen - as long as you wear one of the outfits shown in the picture above.
And you can ride a camel.
Greta - Good choices. I will demand them.
Diane - As good choices and I will ask for various nuts.
Remember your parade wave:
Elbow, Elbow, Wrist, Wrist
There's probably an instructional video out on U-Tube for it.
Practice makes perfect!
Happy Friday!
- Jennifer
You will need a diamond tiara, satin sash and a bouquet of long-stemmed roses to hold in your arms.
What? Too gay?
a crown made of beer cans?
Make the tapirs wear the outfits you discard as being 'too gay'?
A raibow shall rise above your head and doves can carry little baskets of rose petals..
..then a God of your choice will comes down sitting on a white soft cloud and place a crown on your head...
uhm..sorry..I got carried away..
No raf, the crown is good. Zibbs, go with the crown.
I think your outfit should have a Harley logo fashioned from feathers and black sequins. It is difficult to look gay while wearing a Harley logo.
It's not a real parade without a drum core or kilted bagpipe performers. You also need to start practicing a graceful wave like the beauty queens do. (I'm not calling you a beuty queen, I just saying it takes some practice to do it right)
"(not Coldplay)" shows that you are indeed deserving of this honor.
Don't forget the Clydesdale horses hauling a beer wagon...make that a beer train.
WWW - I could see you as a Coldplay hater.
JJ - as long at they're not hauling Bud.
I'll volunteer to be your candy bar thrower if I can ride on the float with you! Heck, I'll even hold your Superhero Cape!!
Be careful what you wish for...the large the animal, the larger the waste from the animal
I don't know why, but this made me laugh like hell. It began with the parade name (The Coatesville 'Here Comes That Hero' Parade) and really ramped up with the stupid shit about the animals from smallest to largest. God you make me laugh. You're so weird. I loves you.
My word ver: lowelime
Lowly little me.
But no Shriners in those little cars -- they creep me out when they do figure 8's and their tassles swing.
I have a wee bit of a clown phobia so none of them! But I love twirling fire. And lots of it.
Snickers? I think you should throw out finger condoms.
So you want the animals lined up in "food chain" order. Are you sure about that?
I could wear sequins and feathers, and you could wear me...that wouldn't look gay.
Definitely need more candy. How about mardi gras beads...the ladies might flash you!
Fawless - whenever you bring up how funny and retarded I am it just makes me laugh and realize - I am funny and retarded after all.
I wish you would comment more. Like you used to in the old days.
And by old days I mean 3 months ago.
I can definitely help you out in the feather department, I will just ask Big F to shit a few more times for you.
Other then that....I can't make it.
peace
#2
Maybe the monkeys aren't the greatest idea, remember Travis, k?
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