Remember These? Sony Walkman. Motorola Bag Phone. Palm Pilot Vx.

What the hell is that product you ask? The Sony Walkman. Yup. I had one back in the day. Pretty life changing if you ask me. And look at those crappy headphones. And carry cassette tapes around? Yeah that was fun.

Oh how far we've come in 2012.

And here's another product I had around 1992. The Motorola Bag phone. Since I was an important, young executive back in those days and had a one hour commute I bought this in case of emergencies. This is how most people started calls back then, "It's me! I'm calling from THE CAR! ....No really. I'm in my car! Making a call! To you!"

Oh and the Palm Pilot Vx. I actually loved this product. I was one of the first to get it at work. Totally space age. Except using the stylus was a pain in the ass. But look at that sleek design. I kind of wish I saved a lot of my old devices but what am I going to do? Take them out of a box every five years and look at them?

Some Things I've Been Paid To Do. Jobs. Chicken Attack.

Here's a random list of things that I've been paid to do. Most are jobs but a few aren't technically jobs. And most are in order.

- Kissed an Aunt
- Picked up apples for Nana
- Paperboy (was pecked at by chickens and bitten on the ass by a dog)
- Babysitter
- Pamphlet hander outer (in doors)
- Sold flowers on the corner (fucking dangerous at times)
- Customized calendars for plumbing company with calligraphy
- Helped kids learn how to do archery
- Busboy
- Dishwasher (was forced to pluck a chicken one time outside in heatwave)
- Food prep guy
- Telemarketer (used to make prank phone calls when manager left room)
- Sales clerk at audio store at a Farmers Market
- Drove sports cars to New Jersey to be sold at auction
- Participant in a medical "cold study" (drank the whole weekend)
- Factory worker
- Loaded 18 wheeler trucks with boxes
- Sold illegal things
- Business cleaner
- Standup comic
- Product Development Manager and Director for a giftware companies
- Business owner
- Sold things on Ebay and Half.com
- Sales/Marketing

And I'm sure I'm going to think of more. I'll ad them to the comments.

So what did you slackers do?

A Post About My Hair. Disco. Hair Pick and Freddy Washington.

Here are some various things about my hair that I will now ramble off:

- It has slowly evolved over time. It used to be wavy, then it got really curly.

- It used to be red, then it got auburn, then brownish and now - I would call it auburnish with SOME gray.

- Others tell me that I'm totally gray. They must be blind because it's fucking GRAYISH a-holes!

- From age 5 - 13 I had at least thirty old ladies - complete stranger old ladies - come up to me and say, "Oh my God. You've got the most beautiful hair! I wish I had your hair"
(Well you don't you old bat so keep walking. Do you think a BOY wants to hear that?)

- In 6th grade my mom started sending me to a "Hair Design for Men" place. The first time I was there, the dude asked, "So, are you into disco? Do you want a disco hair cut?" I said no but he proceeded to give me a disco haircut. Like a big crybaby, I told my mom I wasn't going to school the next day. She made me go. People laughed.

- In 9th grade, EVERYTIME I got my haircut, I asked the guy NOT TO TAKE ANY OFF THE BACK. I asked him this for two years. For some reason, my hair never got longer than a few inches in the back. I swear my mom was calling him and telling him it should be cut. She denies ever doing this.

- When I was in 9th grade, my mom bought a pick - like an afro pick - and tried to get me to "fluff up the top". She would sneak up behind me and try to fluff it up but I refused. This went on for months. "Who do I look like, God damn Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington? Jesus!
"
- Once, while completely wasted with a couple girls in college, the one girl said she just started to cut hair. I let her do it. Bad descision. When I got back to the dorms and was walking down the hall, one of my frieds saw me and started banging on all the doors, "OH MY GOD, YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!" Everyone came out. And laughed. I didn't care though. I was just pissed that this chick gave me such a terrible cut. I should have been tipped off when she scalded me with the water when she was wetting my hair.

- For about a year in the 80's I had a "tail".

- I'm showing zero signs of baldness.

- I have some hair on my chest but none on my butt.

And that concludes the hair post.

Land of the Lost. MASH. Dick Van Dyke. Munsters. ALF.

Here's are various TV thoughts:

- I hated that Adam Lambert on American idol because he was trying too hard to look cool but he was on NPR yesterday and he sounded really great.

- I've never seen an entire episode of that Urkel show.

- Josie and the Pussy Cats (the cartoon) were hot.

- It pisses me off that they're making a Land of the Lost movie. The show was great because it was so cheesy. I know that they're using it just for the name but still. What's next? Sigmund and the Sea Monster?

- Bad casting: Loretta Swit in MASH. She was never hot.

- I used to love the Dick Van Dyke show when I was a kid. And I used to imitate the opening all the time for my sister.

- If I hear the theme to the Andy Griffith Show I'll be whistling it all day.

- I wonder if the Herman Munster character was intentionally played to sound gay? And why are the reruns never on?

- I don't care what you think, some of the things ALF would say cracked me up.

The end.