Huh? Crazy Thing A Little Black Kid Asked Me Once. Downingtown.

Here's a crazy thing that I was once asked that I still can't figure out.

I guess I was about 23 and at my older sister's for Easter. They had our family over, then after we ate some of the neighbors from the complex came in for drinks.

So I'm standing on their small patio with a few people just sipping my drink and chatting.

Then one of the neighbor's kids - a little black boy about 5 - made his way toward me, stood there for a minute, looked up at me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I just stood there like, "WTF?"

"Uh...I'm a boy."

He just said, "Oh OK." Then turned and walked inside.

Everyone just cracked up. I have no idea why he thought this. I was wearing a suit for God's sake. I don't have a high voice. No idea other than my younger sister and I kind of look the same and maybe he saw her inside and got confused. Or maybe he thinks all crackers look the same.

Or maybe he was just a dumb kid. I don't know.

Editor's Note: I was asked the identical question when I was 5. But back then I had huge curls. Oh yeah. And I kind of looked like a girl.

Phoebe Cates And Story About This Dude That Got Caught Masturbating.

Did you now Phoebe Cates is 46 today? Where did the time go? Whenever I think of her I think of Fastimes at Ridgemont High when she was getting out of the pool. And Judge Reinhold was peaking out the window knocking out a batch by hand.

And whenever I think of that, it reminds me of a story that a friend of mine tells of when he was in college. I wasn't even there when this incident happened but I used to make him tell the story once in a while because it just cracks me up.

"So my roommate Rich used to live across the hall with that dude Mike. And Mike went to class one day..halfway there, he realizes he forgets his book. So he turns around and goes back to the room. He opens the door and Rich is standing there holding a playboy and whacking off. Rich is so completely startled and that he throws the magazine up in the air and screams,..."WHAT???"

Just the image of that cracks me the hell up.

So did you ever get busted or bust someone?

(If you want to see the trailer from Fastimes, click here - but keep your hands where I can see them you pervs)

My Heart Just Stopped. Qualities I Like In Women.

Have you ever seen someone and then they start talking and you instantly have a crush on them?

Believe it or not, the typical blond hair big boob chick is not my type. I actually get annoyed when everyone thinks a chick is hot because they've got a hot body. Here are a few things that I'm a sucker for:

- Large, doe-like eyes. And they have to be expressive.

- A smile that lights up the whole face. Not many people have this.

- Laughs at my jokes.

- Curvy with a nice butt.

- Flirty personality.

- Has some type of underlying sweetness in their soul.

And speaking of some of those qualities, here's a blogger that took my breath away not only by her beauty but just the way she talks. Remember how I said I could be a casting director? Tell me this blogger doesn't have star quality. If I ever met her, I think I'd have an instant connection. To see her, click here.

Valentine's Day, Crappy Cards And Uglier People.

Even as far back as 3rd grade at Mary C Howse Elementary, I remember giving the Valentine's Day cards to girls in my class based on what they looked like. And it was tough because those crappy card packs of 30 back in the 70's didn't give you much to choose from.

So for example the girls I liked got a card with a cute puppy, kitten or rabbit.

The girls I didn't like got the goofier cards like the giraffe with crossed eyes peaking his head through a second story window, "I'll put my neck out for you" or the hog eating a corn cob and rolling in mud, "It's corny but will you be my Valentine?"

I wasn't trying to be mean to the uglier people. They probably didn't even pick up on what I was doing. I guess in some way I was hoping the cute girls would pick up on it. Did everyone else do this or am I the only shallow one?

All I know, when it comes to Valentine's Day and my readers, "I Choo Choo Choose You" ......and you and you. But not you.

Cojo? Get The Hell Off Of My TV! Stupid Fashion Jerk!

Oh really Cojo? You think that a few accoutrements make any woman's outfit come to life in a snap? You're the authority on clothes? Then why are you wearing clothes that only a chick would wear?

(Me pushing him down steps) Who gives a crap you pumpkin faced girl! And what man has sculpted eyebrows like that? (Shoves mirror in his face) Look at yourself! Did I give you permission to speak? Shut up! If I see your stupid faux cheerful act on my TV one more time I swear to God I'm coming after you with an ax!

That is all.

Damone From Fast Times At Ridgemont High - Classy Tips.

So everyone chimed in about The Outsiders on my last post. Now you want to talk about a real movie from back in the day, check out (again) - Fast Times at Ridgmont High.

In this clip, Damone gives his five point plan on how to treat women.

1) Never let on how much you like a girl.
2) Always call the shots.
3) Act like wherever you are, it's the place to be.

Can you name his steps four and five? Smooth.