Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Mother coached children to act retarded

Tacoma, Washington

According to CNN , a Tacoma Washington woman admitted to coaching her two children to act retarded so she could receive Social Security benefits on their behalf. On Tuesday, Rosie Costello pleaded guilty to conspiracy to defraud the government and to Social Security fraud.

The following is a transcript of a conversation with Costello's neighbor Ben Messler by That Blue Yak reporter Nick Dempsey:

Dempsey: Mr Messler, what was it like to live next door to a couple retarded people, then you find out they've been faking it all these years?

Neighbor: It sucked. There was always a racket over there.

Dempsey: Did you ever witness her "training" these kids to act retarded?

Neighbor: Hell yeah, they was always yelling things like 'JellyBean, JellyBean' - day in and day out.

Demsey: Like they wanted jellybeans?

Neighbor: No, from the movie Welcome Home Jellybean with that chick that was in the National Lampoon movie.

Demsey: The one where the brother's on stage at school and she starts yelling out 'JellyBean, JellyBean'? And that one kid starts chanting 'JellyBean, JellyBean' and gets the whole school going in a group chant?

Neighbor: You are familiar with it.

Dempsey: Indeed. It was never released on vhs or dvd but I taped the original. I keep it in a vault and watch it every month or so.

Dempsy and Mr Messler continued their conversation for the next three and a half hours - discussing in detail every scene of Welcome Home Jelly Bean. They will be meeting for brunch Sunday to discuss in length - Like Normal People , starring Shaun Cassidy and Linda Pearl.


Gonzo said...

Friggin' hilarious man, I wish I'd come up with that bit... hmmm.

Dr Zibbs said...

I wish I wrote it as was well..I actually transcribed it as my retarded brother babbled it in his sleep.

Anonymous said...

You write very well.

JezebelTheGreat said...

I might be great but you, sir, are the greatest. I'm officially a Dr. Zibbs groupie.

Oh, and earlier today I read that Welcome Home Jellybean review. Best retarded-kid movie review ever. I'm saving that shit for further reading.

Kristen said...

Ohhh, this reminds me of your earlier works. Give Dempsey a big fat raise and the day off tomorrow!

Kristen said...

haha! just realized this *is* your earlier works. I never said I was the sharpest knife in the drawer.